I was told there would be bacon.

New year, same shit.

2012-01-30T21:46:00.000-06:00

So much for things getting better at work. As if losing my favorite client (however temporarily) and finding out Chicken Little would eventually be my boss weren't bad enough, I came in today to find out my minimum billable hours goal for this year was increasing by 10 percent.

Until now, I was expected to spend 75 percent of my time on billable work. I've pretty much always exceeded that goal, mostly because I had no fucking choice. Last week, the boss sent out our totals from last year and I was at 113 percent of my goal, which apparently meant I spent 85 percent of my time last year working on billable stuff.

So, wouldn't you know it, my billable goal for this year is 85 percent. First of all, thanks for telling us that at the end of the fucking month. This month was not going to look good regardless, but it's absolutely going to look worse now.

Maybe it doesn't seem so unreasonable a goal, since I met it last year without trying. But long-time readers of this blog will recall me bitching over the course of 2011 (and 2010 ... probably a good chunk of 2009) about how I had to work a lot of nights, weekends, holidays and vacation days. That's how I got to 85 percent of my time being billable.

Things were supposed to get better this year, what with the new staff and everything. I don't see how that's going to happen, though, if I'm going to have to have nearly all of my time billed to clients.

Today was not a good day. I fully intend to bring this up at my review, but that won't fucking do anything. I'm pretty deep into the despair right now. Knowing there's another year out there where I'll be working all that non-work time just makes me want to weep. It's not like I'm doing important work or helping anyone. I work for a fucking corporation that works for other corporations. I hate myself for it often.

And you better believe I'm not going to get a big raise or big bonus for all the extra time I've put in and all the sacrifices I've made.

Fuck.

I'd better go. I need to get my resume updated. I've got an application that needs to get out tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel like I'm terrible at weekends.

2012-01-29T21:14:00.000-06:00

Oh, I had big plans for this weekend. Just like I have big plans for every weekend. Sometimes they come to fruition, sometimes they don't.

This weekend is one where I didn't really get around to the things I'd planned to do. The Boy I Currently Like and I got to MK's birthday surprise shindig on Friday night. We didn't stay very long, as it was busy and he was sick, but he was glad to have gone, so that's great.

Saturday was mostly a wash. I did get to the gym and ran a couple of errands, but I was laid out on the couch most of the rest of the day. I think I sat up and was alert during the Gophers OT win against Illinois. But I was in bed before midnight. And I slept until 10:00 this morning. Which fucked up much of my day today.

And here I am, tired as shit at 9:00. I guess that means I'll go to bed at a decent hour tonight and can get up and do all the work I need to do tomorrow?

Somehow, I managed to forget all of the horrible shit that I learned at the end of the work day on Friday. My favorite client, who makes up as much as half of my billable time some weeks, won't be renewing their contract. They were forced to cut their budget by a very large percentage, so we had to go.

That's not the worst of it, though. I also learned that eventually, Chicken Little will be my boss. That induced some panic. I was nearly in tears on my way to The Boy's, but some drinks managed to make me forget about it. But I remembered it and the weight of it is settling in around my shoulders. I don't know how I will be able to deal with it. It's not like anything will actually change, but I fear he may go mad with power.

I should be updating my resume. I have to get out.

Best laid plans.

2012-01-28T22:49:00.002-06:00

Though, I'm not sure why I'm so intent on making cinnamon rolls. I was bound and determined to make them last weekend, but I was still sick, so I got lazy and didn't make them.

I've been getting better this week, so today when I left The Boy I Currently Like's house, I decided that I was going to make cinnamon rolls this weekend!

Fast forward to 10:45 p.m. and they're not in the fridge to rise overnight. Perhaps I'll start them when I get up and do the first rise while I'm at the gym.

I like that before-bed optimism I have on weekends. I'm gonna get stuff done tomorrow! It's gonna be great! I'm still not certain why I feel the need to make cinnamon rolls, though.

Not using my time wisely.

2012-01-25T21:51:00.002-06:00

In theory, I would have used tonight to create that post on That's not a parking spot, asshole that I was talking about last night. Or I would have done something else mildly productive.

But no! I did nothing. Okay, I washed dishes. I had to do that, though. I decided to take the night off from the gym, because driving all that way to do 20 minutes on the treadmill seemed dumb. And that's all the cardio I could really do, because the way my knee hurt after the little spill last night, I knew the elliptical and bike were out of the question.

I have two excuses: I am fucking tired and ... crap. I forgot. OH! I got home right before the Wolves and Gophers games started. So I really didn't have time to do much before I was engrossed in hoops. So nice to see the Wolves come out and kick the crap out of the Mavs the day KLOVE signed his big contract. I'll not mention the Gophers. But there were some good Law & Order episodes on tonight.

Now, I have to get ready to wind down for bed. That's another part of the whole point of skipping the gym -- getting to bed at a decent hour. It's gonna happen, y'all. I feel it!

Perseverance.

2012-01-24T21:58:00.000-06:00

Man, I was so tired after work. I worked late and went to Target after work, so by the time I got home from work to have a snack and change before the gym, I was going to be getting to the gym late. Not to mention that this cold is lingering. I'm still getting occasionally nailed with waves of dizziness/fatigue/foggy-headedness.

But I was going to go to the gym anyway, because that's how I do, yo.

On my way to the car, I slipped on the icy-ass motherfucking sidewalk and bit it. I went down slowly and sat there for a minute; I considered saying "fuck it" and going back into the house and getting a glass of wine. But I got up, feeling fairly unscathed, and got in the car.

Yes. I am gonna do this!

Got to the gym and realized I had left my water bottle at home. Fuck. I hesitated, but then I kept going. I paid $2 for a bottle of Aquafina. NOTHING IS GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN.

Okay, maybe the fact that I did indeed jack my knee up a bit in the slip will keep me down. Not for long, however. I did my entire workout, save for hamstring curls. And that was because some fucking dicks were hogging the machine. I did have to drop down 15 pounds on my leg press and use my left leg to help get my right leg going, because of the knee. But I think I'm gonna be okay.

Regardless of outcome, I certainly don't think it's a repeat of last year's incident. I shit you not, my right ass cheek is still lumpy because of that. And it will be forever, because it's scar tissue. Thanks a ton, shittily designed building. At least there's only one person who spends any time fondling my ass (aside from myself), and The Boy I Currently Like claims to not notice the lumpiness.

I was going to do a post on That's not a parking spot, asshole, because there have been so many offenders at the gym. But I got home late and watched the State of the Union address and the Republican response and I've still not taken a shower. So, I think that needs to get done so I can get to bed a decent hour tonight. Hahahahahahahahaha. Good fucking luck, bitch.

Jackpot!

2012-01-23T22:01:00.000-06:00

I stopped in to Trader Joe's on my way to the gym tonight and they had their boxed wine in stock! YES!

The last time I managed to get some was in November. Or maybe October. I think they said they would get some in November, and I never managed to get in there when they had it (I wasn't getting to the St. Louis Park gym location much yet then).

I have been popping in now at least weekly, since I have to drive by on my way to the gym. Oh, they had the boxes of white, but fuck that shit. I wanted the red. And there it was today -- a massive pile of it in the middle of the wine shop. Thank you, Jebus!

The guy who rang me up said it was much better than the second shipment. I really liked the first boxes I bought. When I got some the second time around, I thought maybe it was just me tasting it anew and getting over the idea of "OMG, $9.99 for a WHOLE BOX OF WINE!" He noted that the second batch was lacking in flavor, so maybe it wasn't just me? He said the new batch was so good, he was going to buy a case. Of boxes of wine.

I only grabbed two boxes, for a number of reasons. I only had two hands. I probably needed to try it first, to make sure it was okay. And I'm going to drive by tomorrow. I had half a glass (I have an open bottle from last night -- that shit'll go bad, unlike the box) and it was as good as I remembered my very first box being. I will buy more tomorrow!

That's assuming I make it to the gym. Goddamn, I am sore today. I only did a normal workout yesterday, and I'd only taken six days off. Maybe it's because I'm still sick? But I don't really mind being sore. It reminds me I have muscles and makes me feel all strong and shit.

So, onward and upward, to more weights and wine tomorrow.

Sunday, Sunday.

2012-01-22T20:25:00.000-06:00

In the tune of the Mamas and Papas "Monday, Monday."

Oh, I thought I was better today. I got nearly 10 hours of sleep last night. I felt pretty goddamn good this morning when I got up (late). After a little coffee, I was READY TO GO. Well, mostly. I decided to postpone my visit to Ulta in the 'burbs to use my 20 percent off coupon. I have until Saturday to spend that money, for fuck's sake.

Even after getting quarters and hitting Penzey's on my way to the gym, I was feeling like I could conquer the day and do all kinds of stuff. I was going to make cinnamon rolls and soup and maybe bread. I was gonna do laundry and ... probably some other stuff. I can't really remember what my mental day looked like at this point.

Then I went to the gym. Oh, I had big plans for that, too. I was gonna do at least 50 minutes of cardio and lift weights. Note: I hadn't been to the gym since Monday and I've been sick since Monday. Apparently, I'm an optimist?

My 20-minutes on the treadmill to warm up were encouraging. I didn't have a coughing fit or anything until I started my brief cooldown. My lungs were kinda on fire, but the important thing was that I wasn't coughing. Then, about halfway through my weights, it hit me. Holy crap. I wanted to just crawl up under a bench and sleep.

I managed to finish lifting and stretching and bailed on the 30 minutes on the elliptical. After getting home, it took me 90 minutes to eat something, chop up a few things for my slow-cooker split pea soup, do a few dishes and shower. It shouldn't have taken anywhere near that long. There would be no baking. Laundry had to get done, but at least I could lay on the couch between trips to the basement.

Why I thought I could just bounce back like nothing happened from this cold is beyond me. I mean, I'm still coughing and congested. I had that dizzy, foggy-headed feeling while I was out and about today. That should have been a sign. I am getting better, though. If I do things right this week, I should be at 100 percent in another week, if not before.

My Sunday night feels a bit odd, what with the slow-cooker split pea soup going. I'm drinking my Sunday night wine, but I'm not doing anything! I do have some chicken sausage to cook up quick for my breakfasts this week. And some almonds to toast. If I'm really looking for something to do, I could get another sink of dishes washed. I don't know that I'm looking for that much work, though.

I wish I'd looked at the forecast for today/tomorrow before I left work. I left my work laptop in the office and we're supposed to get an inch or two of snow overnight and a bit more during the day. This is on top of the freezing drizzle we had all day (part of my reason to avoid going anywhere outside the 'hood today). It's fairly similar to the situation on Friday, where we had an inch or so of snow and like, 300-some accidents in the metro area. I'm not even going to complain about the fact that this is MINNESOTA and we get snow. Thankfully, I can take side streets and get to work in 20-25 minutes. It ain't no thang.

Work in progress.

2012-01-19T20:38:00.001-06:00

My whole taking-it-easy-while-I'm-sick thing is still something I'm learning to do properly. I've gotten extra sleep -- almost eight hours, two nights in a row! The rest of it, though, I'm not entirely sure.

I worked two long days, albeit from home. Tonight marks night three of not going to the gym. I don't know for sure if that's the reason my asthma hasn't been terrible. Yet, probably.

Tomorrow I go back to the office. And then I get a weekend where I don't have to do a whole lot. Especially I won't have to do a lot of laundry. What with not going to the office for two days. And not going to the gym for three days. I'm just ready for shit to go back to normal.

So, I'm sitting here, typing and clearly not saying anything. Not sure why I even opened this bad boy up tonight. Ain't no need to blog when there ain't nothin' to blog about. I should really stop typing now. When I get to the end of this sentence. PERIOD.

Doing the responsible thing, yet feeling irresponsible.

2012-01-18T20:35:00.000-06:00

Since I'm sick, but not super sick, I opted to work from home today. I mean, I have the option, so why not use it? I don't expose my coworkers to my germs (not to mention the sneezing, coughing and nose-blowing), I get to sleep in a bit and can take breaks, I have access to everything I need ...

I actually didn't feel all that bad until the end of the (normal) work day, when my boss freaked out about the mark up on a project. My snot- and cold-medicine-addled brain had me convinced that I fucked up somehow. (Caveat -- even if I did, he had many, many opportunities to catch it and didn't.) The thing is, though, I didn't screw up, unless he screwed up first and I based everything I did on his initial screw up. After an hour of repeating calculations over and over and getting the same result, I think I figured out what he did to get the figure he's stressing out about. Of course, he's out tomorrow so I can't explain it to him.

After the initial flurry of e-mails and a phone call, I thought I should go into the office tomorrow, because ... I'm not sure. I know I'm not going to feel a ton better and it's also going to be cold as fuck. Also, my boss is out tomorrow. So I'm not going to stress too much about it. Because, you know, work stress is exactly what you need when you're fucking sick. What the fuck would have happened if I'd *gasp* taken an actual sick day?

I'm not even feeling that bad about skipping the gym two nights in a row. I've eaten about half as much as I might normally eat today, I think. So, if I'm not eating the calories I'd burn at the gym, it's a wash, right? Unfortunately, I feel a bit less hydrated (okay, over-hydrated) than I might be if I was at work, too. But I'm more comfortable, and that means a lot when you're sick.

That seals it. Unless I wake up feeling amazing tomorrow, I'm working from home again. My coworkers should appreciate my keeping my contagious ass out of there. Of course, when I go back on Friday sounding like Lunch Lady Doris (or Ma, for you Soup watchers), they'll tell me I sound terrible. But what can you do?

Non-stop snot machine.

2012-01-17T23:08:00.001-06:00

Holy Jesus. I swear I have not stopped sneezing or blowing my nose all. damn. day.

Oh, I was getting so haughty about my lack of a cold or any other ailment ALL WINTER. Then, we get a sick sales guy in the office last week and I have a wine-soaked, sleep-deprived weekend and I end up sick. Dammit all to hell.

I shouldn't have even been at the office today, probably. But Chicken Little was out, so I had to be there. Tomorrow will be a different story. I'm definitely working from home (I sneeze a bit less here), and maybe even TAKING A SICK DAY. I know. It sounds so fancy and decadent.

Probably I should go to bed now. Hopefully I'll sleep until my alarm goes off, unlike today, when I woke up a good hour or 90 minutes earlier. Seriously? C'mon!

Isn't it ironic?

2012-01-16T21:44:00.001-06:00

I got into work this morning (yeah) and opened my e-mail to find a breathless missive from the CEO announcing an exciting new thing! A day off for volunteering; to help us engage in service to the community. On the National Day of Service. When we're working. Seriously? Did no one see the irony there?

Sure, I'm annoyed that I had to work today when it seemed like everyone else had the day off. I know that's not fully true. I can count on nearly two hands the number of people I knew of who were also at work. THAT'S CRAZY.

The thing is, though, we get President's Day off. Why would we get that if we don't get Martin Luther King Day off? A coworker and I were talking about it and he phrased it pretty well -- today, for people of our generation and those around us -- it's so much closer and actually means something to many of us. I know lots of my coworkers were alive when Dr. King was assassinated. And his message certainly resonates with most of us.

It just seems wrong to honor the old, dead white guys while we treat today like any other work day. I'd rather we work both days if we have to work today. I don't understand it.

Then to throw this "Day of Service" thing out on today of all days ... it just feels so wrong. If they're so intent on us using a day for community service, why not give us today off, but only if we participate in a service project? Apparently group service projects need approval. So, we can go out and do a single day of service on our own. But building team spirit by doing good work? Not bloody likely, motherfuckers. And since we're all always so successful about taking vacation days, I'm sure scheduling a day of volunteering is going to work out great.

I'm certainly going to try to take my day. Pro-Choice Resources often has volunteer opportunities during the day that I can't do, so maybe I'll take a shift at the State Fair, or do some data entry. But we can't do anything political. I wonder what they consider "political." Maybe I'll work at my polling place this year ...

Comin' down.

2012-01-15T22:05:00.000-06:00

Oh man. I feel like I need another day to come down from this weekend. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people whose company includes Martin Luther King day on their holiday calendar. There is a bonus, though, to my having to work tomorrow. Wells Fargo is a bank, so the "ladies" on our floor will not be around tomorrow, fucking up the bathrooms.

Friday night with M&M on the lake was so fun. I met some great people and drank so much fucking wine. Like, almost two bottles. Granted, it was over the course of almost eight hours, so I didn't have much of a hangover when I got up on Saturday. Yeah, I went to bed around 4:00 a.m. Wheeeeeeee! One of the more awesome aspects of the visit to the lake was the fact that most of us woke up to the smell of bacon. It was someone else cooking the bacon I'd brought up from the farm. I went down and ate some and got some coffee. Then I brought up some bacon to The Boy I Currently Like. He at it in bed. He's got a pretty good life.

The rest of the weekend was PUPPYTASTIC. Oh my goodness, y'all. Sadie is so freakin' adorable. We bonded pretty well. She apparently cried when I left. She would whine when I left the room and she followed me around. She'll be fine, though. She was following my dad all over the place, too. Pretty soon, he'll be her world.

Another interesting thing came up while I was at home. I found out my sister told my parents about The Boy I Currently Like. I suppose it's good that it is out there, now. But where the fuck does she get off, telling my parents about him? I'm pissed, yet I take some solace in the fact that Sadie peed on her floor twice yesterday. My sister doesn't like animals -- though, she grudgingly admitted Sadie was pretty cute. She didn't want Sadie in her house. So, I'm kinda pleased Sadie pissed on her floors twice. Oh, and on her deck at least once. Sucker.

Now, please to enjoy Sadie tackling her monkey.

Awwwwwwwwww!

2012-01-14T23:45:00.001-06:00

Sadie is here! I just took her out for her last potty of the night and put her in her kennel. She whined and barked for a minute or two, but that was it. She's had a long day.

Truth be told, I was kinda hoping she'd make more noise so we could go with dad's original plan, which was to have her sleep next to my bed tonight.

Oh well. Plenty more cuddling time tomorrow before I head back home.

Executive Decision AFFIRMED.

2012-01-12T21:47:00.000-06:00

Because I did not go to the gym, I watched the Minnesota Golden Gopher basketball team beat the No. 8 team in the nation, the Indiana Hoosiers, on their home court. I MADE AN EXCELLENT DECISION. Also, Ski-U-Mah!

Executive decision

2012-01-12T21:11:00.000-06:00

I decided not to go to yoga tonight for a number of reasons, among them: I'm tired and expecting to get to bed within two hours (at best) of walking in the door from the gym is pretty unreasonable. I know yoga is supposed to be all relaxing and shit, and I may relax during Savasana, but I'm not going to be tired when I get home. It's just not me.

So, I decided to take at least one step to set myself up for success. I may very well stay up too late, but maybe I won't. Also, I had plenty of shit to do tonight. Tomorrow after work, The Boy I Currently Like and I are going to a winter weekend party a bit outside of the city, hosted by M&M. This means I have shit to pack up. I don't really know what I'm going to need, and I want to take as little stuff as possible, so I have to pack smart.

Oh, but that's not all I'm packing for. You may remember something about A PUPPY. I'm heading to the farm after a layover in the metro to hang with my new li'l puppy friend. So there's packing required there. And I didn't want to pack it all together, because then I'd look like I was over-packing for both. So I'll just pack two separate bags and look like a crazy person in a different way. YAY!

Then there's the TV. I wanted to watch the NBC Thursday night shows (I've missed 30 Rock so, but c'mon, NBC BRING BACK COMMUNITY). Plus the NBA studio show (got to hear Shaq say "shit" as they were going to commercial. Delightful!) and I'm currently watch the Gophers give No. 8 Indiana everything they can handle in Assembly Hall.

I still feel a bit crappy for skipping the gym, but I'll live with it. It's gonna be a late night tomorrow and a lot of driving and doing stuff and not relaxing. Pretty sure I made the right decision.

And let me remind you -- we're at about T-MINUS ONE DAY 'TIL PUPPY. Oh my God, y'all! I can barely stand it.

Gym Teabaggers

2012-01-12T11:38:00.000-06:00

Below is the post I wanted to load last night, but for whatever reason, Blogger refuses to work on my computer at home. Awesome. I went through a stretch like that a few weeks ago, but it tended to work on Firefox and not Chrome. It's now not working on either. And I apparently have changed over to the new interface, which I hated when I tried it the first time. But it doesn't appear that I can change back now. Fun! Anyway, here's all the angry shit I wrote last night when I got home from the gym.

Let's be clear right up front -- this isn't about what you think it will be about. I'm using the term "teabagger" as a pejorative for members of the Tea Party. And I'm using that to paint a picture of the selfish dickweeds at the gym.

These people are possibly different from the Resolutionaries, but maybe not entirely. I know for a fact this shit was going on in November and December, so clearly it's not totally the fault of the goddamn newbies.

Tonight, I was on the ellipticals, which are behind the row of treadmills. From my vantage point, I could see two different women who had been on their treadmills for more than 20 minutes. One of them had a pillar in front of her with THREE signs saying "20 minute limit when people are waiting."

As it happens, there were about six people in line waiting for treadmills. On my way back from getting paper towels and cleaning foam for my elliptical (they were all full, so I stopped at 20 minutes, because I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE), I counted a total of at least five people who were past the 20-minute limit. There were at least that many people in line, waiting for a machine.

Why do these people get to ignore the rules? Or guidelines, or whatever the fuck they are? What makes them better than anyone else? Why should people have to wait longer for them to finish?

I came so close to walking in front of those girls and pointing at the signs, then pointing at the line of people. But why should I have to police the assholes at the gym? It's certainly not my job. Besides, I had stuff to do myself. Also, I'm pretty sure public shaming wouldn't do a goddamn thing.

So this is where my teabagger analogy comes in. It came to me while I was fuming over these oblivious or selfish douchenozzles that they're like these "Tea Party Patriots." They have a very strong "I got mine, so fuck you" attitude. Their brand of government assistance is different -- better, somehow -- than yours. They made their way in the world without anyone's help (yeah, right), so why should they give anything extra to anyone else? They got that treadmill first and they'll stay on it as long as they want.

The gym doesn't seem to be doing much to alleviate my stress level tonight.

Rethinking today's post.

2012-01-11T22:37:00.001-06:00

I had a post fully written about the dicks at the gym who stay on treadmills and other cardio equipment for longer than the 20-minute limit when people are waiting. But I wrote it all and then Blogger wouldn't work for me in either Google or Firefox.

So here I am, trying to swype this out on my wee phone keyboard. I'm over it now, I guess.

What is more important is that we are T-minus THREE days until PUPPY TIME. Y'all, I can't wait. But before we can do that, The Boy I Currently Like and I are going to M&M's family cabin for a little winter weekend fun. Can't wait for that either.

Hair today ...

2012-01-09T22:13:00.000-06:00

Is that the right "hair" for the joke? Or is it "hare?" I can't remember the fucking joke. Oh wait, is it "Little Rabbit Foo Foo?"

Whatever. I got my hair did today. That's what this is all about. That means a 150-mile round trip of driving, but a very affordable cut, color and eyebrow wax in between. Today, it also meant an afternoon off work on a sunny, unseasonably warm day. So, I think I win!

It's always lovely to see The Stylist, and she does a great job on my hair. Since she apparently had time today, she did my hair after the color and cut. She straightened it and then put a few big, fat curls back in.

She was lovely to do so, 'cause I was meeting my parents for dinner right after my appointment. Today is my mom's birthday, so I took them out to dinner. HELLS YEAH.

Of course, my dad actually noticed my hair tonight. I can think of one other occasion where that happened. I got a horrible, terrible, god-fucking-awful cut at the Aveda advanced training institute. Both my dad and my brother commented on my hair. Oh, it was awful. But tonight, my dad just noticed that it was shorter. Not that it was straight, but the whopping handful of times I've had my hair straightened, very few people have noticed. Still, I'm impressed dad noticed my hair was shorter at all.

When I returned to MSP, I decided I would go to the gym, despite being tired and all that. My workout was going great -- I got an elliptical machine without waiting. I got to 23:50 before I noticed all the ellipticals were full and that someone was possibly wanting to use one. So I got off the machine and went to an open(!) treadmill. I wasn't on very long before I felt a pain in my foot, between the base of my middle toe and the ball of my foot. It hurt to touch it once I got my shoe off. DAMMIT.

I was mad at the guy (who never did use the machine) and at myself for even going to the gym. But I stopped pretty quickly after the pain started. It hurt while walking after and it hurt to touch the area still after I got home. It seems a lot better now, though. So maybe it was just a weird little tweak thing? I'm crossing my fingers.

Puppy Watch 2012.

2012-01-08T22:00:00.000-06:00

We are less than a week away from the new puppy coming home, y'all. OH MY GOD. I'm so excited. I am unsure as to when I will be meeting the new puppy. The Boy I Currently Like and I were supposed to go to a friend's family lake place for a big MLK weekend blow out. However, his sister is coming to Chicago and he might end up going to see her and his dad.

I'm going to meet the new puppy this weekend regardless. I think the matter up in the air is whether I go with my dad to get her or not. And I'm going to the farm Saturday night to hang out with her for a bit on Sunday. YAY!

But it's not like I'm lacking for canine interaction. I got to see my buddies Arlo and Jethro on Wednesday when I brought food over for W&J. Then yesterday, I got some surprise dog-petting. I was at Jiffy Lube and a dude walked in with his shitty little dog (I'm not sure what breed, but it was small with curly hair). That dog made a fucking beeline for me. Apparently, she was mad at her owner for making her wear booties (poor thing!). She snuggled all up next to me and let me pet the crap out of her. Yay!

I can't believe my weekend is done and gone already. That short work week was tough -- going back to a regular work week was bad enough, but having to change up my gym schedule made things worse. And our company doesn't recognize MLK day, so I don't have a short week until next month. I'm sure I'll readjust back into the routine shortly ... I hope.

For what it's worth, I am trying to work myself back into schedule now. I did laundry and am working on this week's lunch. I made a lamb stew recommended by KayGee (it is very close to this recipe). Of course, I still have Italian tuna salad that I made last week (I don't know how you get four servings from that shit, Rachael Ray -- I'm at that and have at least half of it left). Seems like I should be okay food-wise this week. It's the small things, right?

And now, I've gotta watch some dogs that appeared on 60 Minutes tonight that are truffle hunters.

The short weeks are always the longest.

2012-01-05T22:22:00.000-06:00

I'm fairly certain this is universally true. The effect is amplified if you're coming back from several days off work. It's a bunch of bullshit. That's what it is.

The stupid thing is I'm not even really busy this week. I'm trying to embrace that, because over the last couple of years, I've worked far more than I needed to in order to meet my billable goals and all that. I mean, I gave back vacation time last year and the year before that.

And I didn't get much of a reward for doing that last year. I doubt it'll get much or any better this year. But I'm still starting to get a bit concerned because, I haven't had much work to do. What if I don't meet my goal? What if we're slowing down too much? GAH.

Thankfully, I made it to yoga tonight and none of that matters much right now. I went to the late class and it wasn't too crowded. The class right before was crazy full, though. It was full to the point that the instructor had to change her routine, because there wasn't enough room for people to do some poses.

By the time I got to the gym at 7:30, there were a few machines open. Well, ellpitical machines, anyway. It looked like there was a line for the treadmills. One delightful thing I noticed was a large white board on an easel right in front of the treadmills reiterating the "20 minute limit on cardio equipment while people are waiting," message that is posted in plenty of other places in the gym. There was even a helpful hint to run uphill or faster with your shortened time.

Not that anyone is going to heed the message (besides me and a few others), but I appreciate the effort.

I actually dozed briefly during Savasana. It's nice to be that relaxed (also that tired). Though, I'm a bit concerned because I felt like I was super wide-awake after that. I'm hoping this wine helps me calm down and get to sleep at a reasonable hour ...

Adjustment.

2012-01-04T22:10:00.000-06:00

Oh man. The goddamn New Year's Resolutioners/Gymmigrants/Resolutionaries have already fucked my life up. And it was really only one day (I didn't go to the gym on Jan. 1 and I went during the day on Jan. 2).

Because of all the oblivious newbies at the gym, I went late last night. I went to the Wedge late, got home late and went to bed really late. Waking up at 4:00 a.m. didn't help matters any. I figured if I was still awake at 5:30/6:00 a.m., I would just get up and go to the gym. But I fell asleep somewhere around 5:00.

So, today, I was kind of the walking dead. Staring at my computer today made me so tired. And here it is 10:05, and I'm falling asleep. Fuck that shit. Next week I really might have to work out in the mornings. Working until 7:00 at night won't be as bad as coming home from the gym at 9:30, right? It seems like it makes sense right now, BUT I'M SO TIRED.

As it turns out, my concentration is waning. I'm bummed the Wolves and Gophers lost tonight. But I had a lovely visit with W&J and their doggies. Baby H was sleeping the whole time I was there, though. C'mon, tiny infant! Wake up when I'm at your house! Guess I'll just have to go see her later.

Okay, time to lay down now.

It could have gone better.

2012-01-03T23:22:00.000-06:00

Going back to the grind wasn't as delightful as you might have thought it would be today. Oh wait, no one in their right mind would expect going back to real life after several days off would be delightful.

The actual work part of work was fine. I'm working on something for my boss and it's not terribly pressing. Though, I want to have it done tomorrow. Fortunately, I don't have anything else going on yet. That's troublesome, as it turns out. 'Cause, while I'm not an attorney, I still have to get a certain amount of billable hours per month. But I have to remember that it is highly likely everything will even out over the course of the year.

Other work things were considerably more awful. The bathroom was a nightmare -- stalls without toilet paper, yet toilet paper all over the floors. There was plenty of paper toweling all over the floor, too. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

I'm so not nearly ready for bed. I didn't get home tonight until well after 9:00. Didn't get into the shower until about 10:30. In that time, I somehow managed to slosh recently-boiled water down my front while mixing up some tuna salad. I'm not terribly burned or anything. It's just that hurts-when-I-get-hot-water-on-it thing going on. Still. Goddammit.

Since it was so late, I didn't bother doing dishes. A sink full of dirty dishes stresses me out, but it was getting so late. And it's not like the sink is completely full.

My trip to the co-op to get the rest of my supplies for my tuna salad was a bit stressful, as I was SO FUCKING HUNGRY. Of course, once I get a chance to eat, I have a turkey stick and a couple of multigrain chips. This is why my fridge needs to be full of food. Sometimes I hate myself so much.

Thankfully, as I'm sitting here typing, I'm starting to get tired. So maybe I won't be up all night. The gym wasn't terrible tonight, but all the treadmills were full at like, 8:20. That's late. The 7:45 yoga class was packed to the gills. I hope the Thursday version is less busy.

Here's to the continued reintegration to the working world getting better tomorrow.

Oh, hello, New Year.

2012-01-02T21:23:00.000-06:00

I meant to blog on New Year's Eve. I meant to blog yesterday. But, well, I just didn't get around to it. Saturday got away from me. Yesterday, once I got home from The Boy I Currently Like's house, I fell into a basketball and reading hole. When I emerged at 2:00 a.m., I figured I should go to bed.

New Year's Eve was delightful, even with the cab drama. I was having so much fun and wasn't tired that I didn't even look at my clock until like, oh, I'm gonna say well after 2:00. Possibly close to 3:00, to check with The Boy to see if we should be calling a cab. And by "we" I mean me. Rainbow Cab said it would 40 minutes when I finally got through.

After about an hour and 20 minutes I started trying again and, ooops! They forgot us. Or something. They said it would be 30 minutes. I also called Blue & White. They said it would be way longer, and that I needed to call every 20 minutes to stay in the system. Blue & White ended up calling in like 15 or 20 minutes and in the rush, I forgot to call Rainbow and cancel. Yeah, I was an asshole in that respect. A drunk, tired asshole. The Boy ended up fielding the call from the driver when we were home and I was getting ready for bed. It was nearly 50 minutes later. How the fuck were we to think they didn't forget us again? I'm probably banned for life or something now.

Anyway, it was a seriously awesome night. M&M have such great parties. And, while there were many people missing from the previous couple of years' parties, there were plenty of the same lovely folks there.

So now I have to go back to work. Right now, my work plate is mostly empty, so I should be able to ease back into things. I could be, and probably am, terribly wrong about that. But who knows? On the one hand, I'm sad to be going back to all the annoyances of work. On the other hand, routine is good for me.

Not that I didn't have a routine while I was on vacation. I barely feel like I relaxed/lazed about at all. Apparently, I opted to do that my last two days. I'm trying to decide if I should just watch TV or go back to my book. I read until 2:00 last night, though, so maybe it would be better if I vegged to the idiot box.

Then there's the gym. It was really busy late last week during the day and was awfully busy in the early afternoon today. I'm toying with the idea of going in the morning. I mean, I generally get to work after 9:00 as it is. How much worse would it be if I showed up at 10:00? I mean, I'd be home by 7:00 at the latest. That's got to be better than getting home from the gym after 9:00 and then staying up so late because I can't come down from the workout high.

I don't know ... I'll see how things go the next few days.

Oh, and lest I be remiss: your (okay, my) Minnesota Timberwolves have won back-to-back games on back-to-back nights. Last night's win was over the defending NBA champs. Fuck and yes! I'm considering asking my siblings to go to a Wolves game instead of out to dinner for my birthday. I think it's a great idea.

Top albums of 2011.

2011-12-30T20:29:00.000-06:00

Whew. I'm getting this done in just the nick of time. I feel like this year I'm really slacking in terms of music I've discovered or even listened to this year. In years past, I've had a considerable list of honorable mentions. This year? Just one. And that's because when I was filling out my ballot for The Current, I somehow forgot Wilco.

I couldn't even tell you how many shows I've seen this year. There are three I remember off the top of my head and none of them rocked my world. This is what getting old is all about, isn't it? Damn.

Despite my lack of interest in music this year (I hope that's not really it ... maybe just a shitty year for music?), I've seen several "best of" lists and flew into a rage at the sight of Tuneyards (I refuse to use the precious random caps). Dear sweet Jesus, I fucking hate them? her? whatever? so fucking much. It's just awful, awful "music."

At least Bon Iver was farther down on many top albums of 2011 lists. I swear there is more music I hate this year, than music I like. So begins my descent into crotchety old womanhood.

So, in no particular order, here are my top albums of 2011. Noel Gallagher was my absolute favorite, I think. I fell in love with that bad boy on first listen.

Ryan Adams: Ashes and Fire
The Black Keys: El Camino
The Dears: Degeneration Street
Deerhunter: Halcyon Digest
Elbow: Build a Rocket Boys!
Feist: Metals
Noel Gallagher: Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
The Roots: Undun
Wye Oak: Civilian
Wilco: The Whole Love

Honorable mention: Mogwai: Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will

Running out of time.

2011-12-29T22:34:00.000-06:00

I have my list of top albums for the year in a draft blog post. I just keep forgetting to write anything to accompany the list. And I don't feel like I have the wherewithal to do it tonight. Maybe tomorrow? Yeah, I'm sure I'll find time to get it done before New Year's Eve Eve sushi happy hour. And if not before, then certainly after. Hahahahahahahahaha.

I feel like a broken record, but I just feel like this week of vacation has gotten away from me. What have I accomplished? Not a whole fucking lot. What did I need to accomplish? Um ... I guess I really don't know.

Hey -- suddenly I feel a lot better!

Today, I bought my wine for New Year's Eve. I bought a dress and tights yesterday. I also made my fancy almonds. I still might make some sort of cheese puff thing, but I'm going to bring cookies, too. I don't want to seem like some sort of food-pawning freak.

Tonight I made a stir fry and some rice. I also did my toe nails and finger nails. That's worth celebrating. Well, it's an accomplishment, anyway. Not that I did a great job on my nails, but the mistakes should flake off between now and when I go to happy hour tomorrow.

One thing I really need to do is get my oil changed. I need to return the shitty conditioner I bought last week. Don't know that I'll get those done tomorrow before it's time for sushi. With my mornings going the way they are and a workout to get in there, it seems doubtful. But I should have time Saturday? WHO KNOWS?

These repetitive blog posts are starting to get on my nerves. I can't imagine how you must feel reading them. I've not even done a good job of clearing off my DVR. I'm watching basketball tonight. But that's probably because I'm still dealing with NBA withdrawal. It's not even been a week yet, for fuck's sake.

Doing vacation wrong.

2011-12-28T23:13:00.000-06:00

I really do feel like I'm not using any of my vacation days to relax. Today was one of the only vacation days I've had where I didn't set my alarm. Really? What the fuck is that about? And here I am, feeling like I am just sitting down at nearly 11:00 p.m.

Oh well. At the end of the day, what matters is that I'm not at work. I may be busy, but at least I'm mostly busy doing stuff I want to do.

Today, I went to meet my new baby friend, Hannah. She's a pretty awesome baby. I was delighted to see pictures of her on Facebook and see that W&J produced a cute baby. I always hate trying to pretend I think someone's baby is cute when it's ugly as sin. And don't give me that, "oh, every baby is cute!" bullshit. You know that is not fucking true.

But Hannah is cute. She has a freakishly strong neck -- I don't recall any other nine-day-old babies cranking their heads around, or lifting them, like she did. She was crazy alert, too. I like her!

After hanging out with Hannah and W for a while, I went to run some errands. One of them was shopping for a dress for New Year's Eve. I believe I said on my post yesterday that I didn't have plans. That changed at some point in the wee hours and I'm delighted. The Boy I Currently Like and I are going to M&M's place for a party. It's the third consecutive year. I feel like it's a guaranteed good time.

Oh sure, I could have worn a dress I already have. That's what I did the last two years. But I didn't have anything I really wanted to wear. I figured I could find something super cheap on clearance. I did, but it was $50 instead of $35 and not terribly fancy. It's actually a dress I could wear again. I still might hit another place tomorrow, just to see if I can get something party-y and cheaper. But I'll be okay with this dress. After all, I can wear sparkly eye shadow.

I feel like tomorrow is my last totally free day of vacation. Friday is New Year's Eve Eve sushi happy hour. Saturday is New Year's Eve. Sunday I'll be recovering from that hangover and then Monday I have to get ready to go back to work. HOW DID I WASTE MY ENTIRE VACATION? Dammit.

Oh well. I still have five days where I'm not at the office. And by then, I'll be glad to get back to a routine. Still ...

It's not fair, I tell ya.

2011-12-27T20:11:00.000-06:00

I was so tired last night. I went to bed "early." I use the quotation marks because it was still like, 11:00, but it was early in the sense that I didn't have a goddamn thing to get up for this morning.

So, it stands to reason that I would wake up around 3:30 a.m. and never go back to sleep. I suppose because it was a vacation day, I tried to go back to sleep until 7:00 or so. In retrospect, that was was stupid. I could have gotten so much stuff cleared off the DVR (won't be doing that tonight -- I'm recording both the Gopher and Timberwolves games ... I'll catch up with the Wolves game after the second half of the Gopher game. Thank you, basketball gods, for the hour difference in start times).

To say I had nothing to do today isn't quite correct, either. I put in nearly a half day of work. I went to the gym and the grocery store and did a couple of things around the house. I was planning on a nap, then I thought I wouldn't end up taking one. In the end, I slept for no more than 20 minutes. It was probably more like 10-15.

I'm hoping this means I'll sleep well tonight. My new bedding felt horribly scratchy and too hot, but that could have been just because I so desperately wanted to sleep. I'll try to stay up late tonight, too.

There's not really much I have to do the rest of the week. Tomorrow, I'm going to meet my new baby friend, Hannah. There's nothing scheduled for Thursday, as far as I know. Friday I have my annual New Year's Eve Eve drunken sushi happy hour. It feels like this year, I won't end up hung over on New Year's Eve. Not that I have NYE plans, either.

MY LIFE IS SUPER EXCITING.

Whatever. At least I don't have to go to work.

Comin' home.

2011-12-26T21:17:00.000-06:00

Technically, I came home yesterday, but I was here for less than an hour before I went to The Boy I Currently Like's house. So really, I just got home this afternoon.

Most of my shit is put away, but there will be several things that linger around in corners and not-so-out-of-the-way places for entirely too long. I try, but at a certain point, it becomes too much work to put all this goddamn shit away.

Christmas with the fam wasn't entirely terrible. Early on I felt like they were ganging up to talk shit about me, so I just drank more. It seemed to help. I somehow managed to get out of going to church. I was happy to have to get most of dinner ready instead of being crammed into a pew in an overcrowded, hot, noisy church.

I even managed to not be weepy, despite this being my first visit to the farm since Brandi was put down. I think the prospect of the new puppy kept a lot of the sadness away. We talked a lot about names and stuff, so it was at the forefront of my mind.

Now I'm home, after a really lovely Christmas night with The Boy. He got me awesome presents and I feel like I did pretty okay for him. But mostly, it was nice to be around someone who wasn't going to judge me and shit.

I'm pretty excited about not having to work this week. Except for that half day I'm going to put in tomorrow, probably. I need to go see W&J's new wee baby girl and there will be a New Year's Eve Eve sushi happy hour, but that's about it. I feel like I'll be able to do a lot of lounging.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to focus my attention back on this TIMBERWOLVES OPENER. Oh my God, y'all, I'm so thrilled the NBA is back. Merry fucking Christmas, indeed.

Well, that day got away from me.

2011-12-23T01:01:00.000-06:00

I probably should have written this when I first thought about it this morning. Oh well. Now it's 1:00 a.m. and I need to be on the road in 12 hours. Crap.

At least the gifts are wrapped and the bulk of the baking is done. Packing shouldn't be too terrible. I need to get to bed. I'm going to need to be well-rested to deal with the fam.

Can't blog, doing Christmas cards.

2011-12-19T23:29:00.000-06:00

Getting my Christmas cards done gives me a sense of accomplishment. Even if I'm pretty much only sending cards to people who have already sent them to me. Reciprocation is totally something, dammit.

I'm waiting to wrap my presents until they all arrive, but it looks like I might be waiting on one straggler. I'll probably do my wrapping on Wednesday. It feels like something I need to do before a day off. I can't drink that much on a school night, dammit.

Whatever, I'm making progress.

Also, today is a big day. My new baby friend has made her debut! Congrats to W&J on the birth of wee Hannah Katherine. I can't wait to meet her. There's so much going on these days.

Just some puppy pictures for you.

2011-12-18T22:02:00.000-06:00

We ended up meeting two different litters of puppies yesterday. There was a third, but there were only two puppies left and we didn't get to pet or hold them.

My dad wasn't intending to buy a dog yesterday, but after we saw the pups and their parents and learned a little bit more about them, he put down a deposit. The puppies are only three weeks old, so it'll be another five before she can come home. I'm not sure I can wait that long!

When we went to see the puppies' sire, we got the bonus puppies. There was a litter of five-week-old puppies and two left from a litter of seven-week-old puppies. Those were the ones we didn't really get to pet.

It's mostly over. I think.

2011-12-16T22:57:00.000-06:00

I hope. I'm talking about my crazy-ass baking spree. I've made four batches of cookies over the last few days, in addition to all the cookies I made last weekend for the cookie exchange and the cookies I made the weekend before to help me decide which cookies to make for the cookie exchange.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I haven't the foggiest idea what made me want to bake all of those cookies, but I HAD TO DO IT.

So now I basically just have to put them in treat bags for my friends and family. And one coworker. Because I can't bring cookies for everyone. Apparently, some people have no self-control, so no one gets cookies. That's more for friends and family, I guess.

I really feel like I wasted these three days off work. I mean, I did more than a half day work, which is bullshit. Then I went to a work happy hour. I did get pretty much all of my Christmas shopping done. That is awesome. I might get one more thing for The Boy I Currently Like. I probably will. I seem to have cleared stuff off my DVR, too.

Yet here I am, feeling like I didn't fucking relax at all. Oh well. That's what next weekend is for? What the fuck else will I do at home? And the week after, where I'm off THE WHOLE WEEK.

Hey -- you know what? I should quit bitching about how I've wasted my days off, get my cookies bagged up and pack my bag so I can chill a bit before bed, because I HAVE PUPPIES TO SEE TOMORROW. I need to remember to put some extra Kleenex in my purse. I've been crying a lot lately.

PUPPY.

2011-12-15T19:55:00.000-06:00

My dad just called to ask if I would be interested in going with him Saturday to check out a puppy he's considering getting.

HOLY SHIT. Do you even need to ask, Dad?

She's still pretty young yet, so we won't be bringing her home. I say "she" because my dad said when he started looking in the spring/summer that he'd be getting another girl. The mother will be there, and apparently the father lives just down the road, so we'll go check him out, too.

This was pretty good timing on Dad's part, as I had a couple of crying episodes today when I was thinking about what it was going to be like to be home next weekend for the first Christmas in nine years without Brandi. We'll probably still be dog-less and it'll still be hard, but knowing there's a puppy on the horizon helps take some of the sting away.

Because the puppy is too young to bring home, I'm guessing that means the whole litter will be there. Which is AWESOME. I want to be attacked by puppies. I want to sit down and let them crawl all over me. Not sure that'll happen, but a girl can dream, right? I can also dream that they have just one week left before they're ready to go to their forever homes, but that's probably a reach, too. Guess I'll be visiting the farm a lot over the next several months.

"Vacation."

2011-12-14T22:55:00.000-06:00

My mini vacation that started today started with a good two hours of work immediately after I woke up. Yay? In fact, I feel like I just barely sat down to relax at 10:00. How did that happen?

Part of it is my continued obsession with cookie baking. I had to go to the gym and a work happy hour, too. Lucky me, tomorrow I have a poorly-timed conference call as well. Fucking bastards. My weekend isn't going to be any better. Hanging out with The Boy I Currently Like, extended family Christmas, birthday lunch for brother and SIL and a friends holiday drinks party. I'm tired just thinking about it.

Went to see Ryan Adams at the State Theater last night. We found out when we got there that there would be no beverage service. Okay, fine. He's a recovering alcoholic. But there was no coffee or soda either. Not even water. I was so fucking thirsty when I got home. I pounded two huge glasses of water so fast it hurt.

The show was still good, despite my legs practically falling asleep because I never stood up. The crowd was ... annoying. The girl next to me had her purse practically in my lap. She was also singing along, off-key and out-of-time. Not so awesome in a super-quiet acoustic show. I'm not a fan of totally acoustic shows, either. I like the occasional stripped-down version. However, I found myself missing harmonies and bass lines and whatnot.

I suppose I should get to winding down. I have to get up early tomorrow on my day off.

Can't stay out of the kitchen.

2011-12-11T22:33:00.000-06:00

The Boy I Currently Like and I changed shit up this weekend and hung out Saturday instead of Friday. Well, this was mostly because Man Candy wanted to switch nights because the AV Club was in town (oooh, new nickname!). I was a little bummed I found out so late she was here, 'cause I didn't get to see her.

Switching shit up meant I had to go straight from his place to Cookie Exchange 2011. This was okay because a) there were cookies (plus crazy awesome cheese, boozy cider and exotic preserved meats), b) there were friends, and c) there was my CORGI! buddy Ein.

After that, I stopped to see W&J and my dog buddies at their house. It may be my last visit before the baby comes. I had to drop off some cookies, too. My deck cooler is getting seriously full. And yet, I made the filling for meneinas after making my lunch for the (short) week. That shit is still cooling now at 10:30. I may have fucked up my timing of things this evening.

Man, I thought this post was going to just flow from my fingertips; instead, it is like pulling teeth. So, I think I'll put myself out of my misery and sign off for now. With my short (on paper) work week coming up, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time for proper, well-thought-out posts. Hahahaahhahahaha.

A little bit better.

2011-12-08T22:47:00.000-06:00

I didn't cry too much at all today, which is good after the day I had yesterday. I woke up with a horrible crying hangover -- headache, puffy eyes and generally groggy feeling.

Oh, and I woke up at like 3:30 a.m. Because that's exactly what I needed. Yesterday sucked like you wouldn't believe. I was in a fog. I felt like I sleepwalked through the day. You know it is bad when a 90-minute nap doesn't do anything to hamper your regular going-to-bed plans. Also, I overslept about 40 minutes today. Holy shit. That news took so much out of me.

However, I have some really amazing friends who get why I was so upset. For a couple of them, I know I'm going to be gutted when their dogs are no longer with us. Fortunately, their awesome pups are (mostly) healthy and definitely happy and I will be spending time with them this weekend.

I was worried about spending time with dogs I love, so soon after getting the news about Brandi. But since I can't get over the loss of a dog with a new puppy (recommended by experts), I shall visit my canine pals as a next-best option.

So, I'm tired and stuff and I think I'm gonna randomly be done with this post. Not even gonna edit or proofread. Or spell check. Sorry.

I really hate it when you can tell a phone call is going to bring bad news.

2011-12-06T21:38:00.001-06:00

I've known my dad for a very long time (all my life, in fact), so I could tell when I listened to his voicemail that something wasn't right.

They had to put Brandi down last night. Brandi was my parents' Golden Retriever.

Honestly, I was expecting bad news about a relative. I know she was nine years old, but that's nothing. My sister called a little while ago (she didn't really even like Brandi, but she's a good enough sibling to know I loved the shit out of that dog) and said, "Well, she was old."

She had a tumor in her chest that was restricting her ability to breathe. It all came on suddenly; Dad said it was Sunday night when he realized something was wrong. I swear, when I was home just less than a month ago, that I felt something in her chest. But Dad thought it was just a fatty deposit. Guess not.

It seems like just yesterday that my dad was taking me on an unexpected trip to help him pick out a puppy. It was Thanksgiving weekend, I think. And I was living within 20 minutes of home at the time. I'd come over to help my mom put up the Christmas decorations. Getting to go visit some puppies seemed like a pretty great reward for doing that.

I can't remember how many litter mates she had, but there were a ton of puppies running around in this machine shed. It was one of the most awesome experiences of my life -- standing there with all these puppies surrounding me and jumping up on my legs.

But one puppy stood out from the rest. The family had a bunch of cats (barn cats, it seemed), and this particular puppy was beating up on those fucking cats. When my dad asked which puppy I thought was best, I said her. For whatever reason, my dad agreed. In about a month, she would be coming to the farm - to her forever home.

She came home the weekend before Christmas, I believe. For whatever reason, all of us kids were around. Brandi was out in her kennel in the garage, under a heat lamp (she was the first winter puppy my dad ever got). My five-year-old nephew didn't know there would be a puppy. I got to go out and get her and bring her to the house. It was pretty exciting.

I have so many great memories of playing with her and the silly things she's done. I loved the shit out of that dog. I love the shit out of a lot of dogs, truth be told. But I didn't pick any of them out of a passel of other puppies.

Going home for Christmas is going to suck so hard. As I told The Boy I Currently Like, sometimes I went home just because I missed Brandi. What the fuck am I going to do now? It's going to be hard. Shit. It's hard now. I'm a mess right now.

I miss her so much already. I was going to get her a new squeaky toy for Christmas.

I need more wine.

Abandoned underpants.

2011-12-05T21:57:00.000-06:00

Friday at the gym, I discovered a pair of underpants in a (fake) tree planter at the gym when I went for a final stretch after my work out.

Really? UNDERWEAR? Among the rocks in the tree planter. They kind of blend in, since they're gray and the fake rocks are shades of gray, as well.

And underpants are funny (that's why I keep calling them underpants instead of underwear).

I delayed my gym visit tonight in the hopes that I could get a machine, and it mostly worked. Then, I went to stretch and ended up back at the planter. THE UNDERPANTS WERE STILL THERE.

While I'm grossed out, I also find it hilarious. Tracking this has given me renewed zeal to get to the gym. It's sad, but you gotta take your motivation wherever you can find it, right?

If only I could take a picture, but cameras are prohibited. Not that anyone else pays any attention to the rules, but the second I fuck up, I'm sure I'd get busted.

Stay tuned for the LA Fitness Underpants Saga.

Doing stuff.

2011-12-04T21:40:00.000-06:00

I kinda feel like I've been going non-stop since I got up this morning. It wasn't terribly easy to get out of bed, but I managed to do it, all the same.

Within about ... oh, I don't know, a half hour of waking up, I was full of energy. I WANTED TO DO STUFF.

So, I went to the gym. Then I went to the grocery store. After eating and showering, I started in on laundry. Then I made Double Chocolate Cherry Espresso cookies. Then I did dishes. Then I finished laundry. Then I made corn chowder for lunch this week. Then I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies. Then I did dishes again.

And here I am, still not entirely ready to recline on the couch to flip between football and Harry Potter. It's a bit disconcerting, to be honest.

After the third batch of cookies this weekend, I've now made three practice batches for the bit Cookie Exchange next weekend. And I have no idea what I'm going to make for the exchange. At the moment, I'm leaning toward one of the chocolate cookies. Probably the cherry-espresso cookies, because they don't involve double-boilers. Except, I've not been able to find instant espresso powder. I just used an instant dark roast. They were lacking a bit in coffee flavor, but still had that depth that coffee gives.

Since I have to wait until late tomorrow to go to the gym, I think I'll make one more practice batch. This time it's double chocolate with sea salt. Well, I'll make the dough. It has to sit in the fridge for a bit. Then I'll bake them on ... Wednesday? I'll have to go to the gym late on that day, too.

So much fucking baking. At least I've got another short week. Actually, I'm totally excited about this week. Which seems a bit odd, with the four days of work. But since I have nothing scheduled, I feel so ... free. For now. I'm sure something delightful will fall on my plate before too long.

Can't. Stop. Baking.

2011-12-03T22:09:00.000-06:00

This is my second batch of cookies in as many days. And I've been amassing the ingredients for another three cookie types over the last couple of days. Unfortunately, while out buying shit like gray sea salt, orange blossom water and instant espresso powder, I neglected some of the basics. I'm running quite low on granulated sugar and all-purpose flower. Nice work, idiot.

But what else is there to do on a night like this?

I've been making cookies from my Alice Medrich book. Yesterday I made Bittersweet Decadence Cookies and tonight it was Triple Ginger Cookies. I've got a number of ideas in mind for tomorrow, but I have to keep in mind that I have several days off coming up. So, you know, I don't want to make everything right away.

The snow keeps on coming, and the Weather Channel total keeps getting revised. We were supposed to have less than an inch, but there was a half inch on my car when I went out within an hour of it starting. The Weather Channel now says 2.4 inches, but I have at least three on my deck railing and other surfaces out there.

I'm concerned I might (finally) be getting a cold. I will be bummed. But maybe it'll be like all of those other false alarms I've had. *crosses fingers* I started taking the generic zinc tablets pretty much as soon as I got home from The Boy I Currently Like's place today. It might help if I go to bed early-ish tonight, but ... well, that just ain't me. There's stuff to do/watch/read.

Trying.

2011-12-01T19:48:00.000-06:00

I am tired and crabby. It's cold out and getting colder. The Varsity Theater doesn't have a coat check and we are taking the bus.

But I'm having a little pregame wine. I've got lots of layers that can hopefully be stuffed into my purse at the show. At least I'm used to a heavy purse? (I did remove the biscuit cutters I've been carrying around since I bought them Sunday, though.)

It's gonna all be okay. Plus, I don't have to get up for work tomorrow.

Ragey.

2011-11-30T22:15:00.000-06:00

Jesus H. Christ, I am so crabby. The work situation this week, combined with hormones, have just really made me ANGRY.

I'm sure going back to work after most of a week off didn't help things. Nor did the post-Thanksgiving let-down. What the fuck else is there now? Christmas? Fuck that shit. New Year's Eve? Maybe. The horrible cold, dead of winter? That's for certain.

In a few days (possibly as early as tomorrow), it'll all be over. The hormones will even out and I have Friday off work. In theory.

There was a lot of work stuff I was going to rant about. Over the break last weekend, I got an e-mail from a coworker with a thread of exchanges with our Big Boss about our PTO policy and if we were ever going to get to carry any over. He spouted some platitudes about how people shouldn't hold onto their time until the end of the year and how everyone wants to take time off during the holidays and bullshit like that.

Maybe there are people out there who would have no problem blowing through their PTO early in the year and then facing an illness or a death in the family with no cushion. Sure, the company might be understanding in a situation like that, but who wants to put herself in a situation like that? And then I'm an asshole because "I want to take time off at the holidays?" You may or may not notice this, but "the holidays" coincide with the end of the year, and the deadline for us to use up our time.

I wouldn't have so damn much time to use up in December if I could have taken all the time off I wanted to during the year. I mean, I worked on several holidays, not to mention many a weekend and evening. If I can't even not work on company holidays or weekends, how am I supposed to take regular work days off? It's fucking maddening.

Well, okay. That was the bulk of what I wanted to say. Guess it didn't take too long to get it all out.

I've hit the point in the year that I have to stop going to the gym location closest to home in the evenings. It's just too fucking crazy and full of inconsiderate dicks. There's a 20 minute limit on cardio equipment when there is a line. I'm talking to you, people on the ellipticals for more than an hour. I pay for my membership the same as you do, asswipes.

So there goes my stress relief. And I'm so gross -- my hair, my skin, I feel hugely fat (more so than normal).

It's gonna get better though. Probably. Hopefully.

Oh, hello working Blogger.

2011-11-29T22:36:00.000-06:00

Look, I wasn't going to say much tonight. I worked a good 10 hours and skipped the gym. I've stayed up way too late the last couple of nights.

But then, I went to try to blog about this and BLOGGER WASN'T WORKING. Now it is working, though. Not only that, but Blogger is working in Chrome now, too.

This is all terribly exciting, and I swear I will (maybe) write a real blog post soon. I've only got two more days of work left this week.

YAY.

Baking jones sated.

2011-11-27T20:18:00.000-06:00

It's not as if I didn't have a chance to get in the kitchen or anything while I was on vacation. I made muffins on Sunday and a cake on Wednesday, but after Thanksgiving is when I really wanted to be baking.

I managed to go out to the annual leftovers party last night. My overwhelming urge after going out to the gym and running errands was to stay warm and snug in my apartment, baking up a storm. I made the right decision, though. It was, as always, a very fun, wine-soaked evening.

Since I didn't have any big-time cooking to do for the week today (thank you, leftovers!), I was able to get some baking done. My test cookies for the 2011 Holiday Cookie exchange are nearly done. These are pumpkin, oatmeal and dried cranberry cookies. They're pretty good, but I feel like they're lacking a little something special.

There's still pumpkin left, so I'll be making some muffins tonight, too. Shit. It's only 8:00. I have time. Might as well use it productively, right?

I'm terribly sad that my vacation is over. Feels like I got nothing done -- my only lazy day was Friday, and that's because I was hung over. If I hadn't been, I would have been Out Doing Stuff.

However! Between now and the end of the year, I'll only be working 12-14 days. I'm off every Friday, the week between Christmas and New Year's and most of another week. Because I had to work Monday, I have two additional days to use. I'm not sure I'll get to use them (or even all of the days I've requested), but it'll be a while before I work a five-day week again.

And that is what is keeping me going tonight. Except short weeks always feel so long. Fuck.

No! I won't do that to myself. There is fun to be had. Macho Man and I are going to see Clap Your Hands Say Yeah on Thursday night. There are more cookie recipes to try out. It's gonna be lovely, dammit. LOVELY.

Leftovers.

2011-11-25T22:06:00.000-06:00

Oh my, but that was one hell of a Thanksgiving. I'd say it was the best one KayGee, The Prison Librarian and I have had since we first started.

The food, as always, was delicious and in obscene amounts. My fridge is packed with leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn casserole, green bean casserole, stuffing, cheese, salami, baked feta, pumpkin swirl cheesecake ... the only things I don't have in terms of leftovers are Brussels sprouts (though, I have the raw ones I didn't cook) and spinach dip/veggies. That's because I flat-out refused any of that. You have to draw the line somewhere, right?

Ah yes, there's chocolate stout cake, too. No one even had any last night. We were too full. KayGee and The Prison Librarian took a chunk home. The Boy I Currently Like took a chunk home for him and a couple of pieces for Man Candy. I believe I owe a piece to Law Talkin' Gal. Maybe I'll have one piece, too. It's good fucking cake. Or, it looks and smells good. It's always been good in the past.

By the time The Boy I Currently Like joined us yesterday, we'd been drinking for several hours. This is the first time I've been hung over the day AFTER Thanksgiving. Usually I tie one on Thanksgiving Eve and end up hungover for The Big Day. Not this year! I did it right. And I managed to make The Boy a decent breakfast (fried potatoes, bacon and scrambled eggs with smoked Gouda), despite my hungover state.

It was just such a delightful fucking day. It was warm -- we had the ceiling fan on and most of the windows open for a large portion of the day. Though, in the interest of full disclosure, that was because we set the smoke alarm off pretty early on. Oh yeah. We totally did that.

The Boy and I opted to not hang out tonight, despite the fact that we had a lovely time yesterday/today. I could have gone either way. After a nap and a shower, I was raring to go. He was unsure as well, so we opted to have our own alone time. I've managed to not order pizza (for some reason, I really wanted it earlier, despite the presence of delicious, delicious leftovers). I've also refrained from baking. Because, of course, I need more baked goods.

Though, there's a good chance I'll do some baking tomorrow or Sunday. Or both. I just need more eggs. And I have the bulk of a can of pumpkin in my fridge that needs to be used, so there you go.

I also have to decide what I'm taking for the leftovers party tomorrow (in addition to a box of wine, of course). I think the baked feta will go for sure. The rest of the cheesecake (after I get my piece), the rest of the chocolate cake ... I'm not sure I want to/can part with the remainder of my leftovers. I'll be eating off that shit most of next week, for Christ's sake.

Hold the fuck up -- this is the 10th anniversary of The Lord of the Rings? Oh, by the way, that's what I'm doing tonight. I'm laid out on the couch (occasionally switching sides, so my neck doesn't get sore) watching as much of the LOTR trilogy as I can. I'll probably finish The Two Towers (starting RIGHT NOW and going until 1:00), but Return of the King will have to wait until tomorrow, I'm guessing. I rarely ever get to see The Two Towers, when it's on TV. I'm always out or some silly shit like that. It's just like The Empire Strikes Back. It's my favorite, so of course, I always miss it.

Hmmm ... this seems to be getting lengthy and I've been upright for what seems like entirely too long. Better sign off.

Thanksgiving Eve.

2011-11-24T00:20:00.000-06:00

For the first time in years, I managed to get home at a reasonable hour on Thanksgiving Eve and do a few things to make tomorrow a bit easier.

Lord knows I spent plenty of time at the bar. It was a delightful time, despite our surly server. A friend from home came out for a couple of beers, which was a last-minute surprise.

I managed to get a good chunk of stuff done today. I had a mammogram, went to Target (for milk and mascara), went to the gym, cooked up some cranberries (with orange, ginger and bourbon) and baked a cake. That was all before I stopped at Bull Run to get some coffee before I went to Liquor Lyle's for Thanksgiving Eve festivities.

Probably I should get to bed soonish. There is much to do yet tomorrow. I'm so excited.

Holiday prep.

2011-11-22T23:22:00.000-06:00

Holy shit. I think I'm mostly ready for Thanksgiving. AND IT'S ONLY TUESDAY. I'm pretty sure my shopping is all done. I did the bulk of the cleaning tonight. There's pre-cooking to do tomorrow and last-minute clean-up to do tomorrow/Thursday, but damn, I think I got this shit under control.

That's a far cry from earlier today, when I was panicking about how could I possibly get everything done? And I have an extra day off this year, plus a day working at home instead of the office and all the bullshit that goes along with that.

Quite honestly, I think it is the extra time off that fucked me up. I didn't do a goddamn thing this weekend to get ready. I can't think of a reason now why I didn't, though. Idiot.

Today was pretty goddamn busy, despite my not working. I was at the gym less than 90 minutes after I got out of bed. I went to three different stores (one of which I went to twice, because the first pass through yielded no parking spots -- and I did that shit having to pee). I had some downtime while seeing The Ides of March with W (which was better than I thought it would be and my first Ryan Gosling movie ... is that his real accent?), but other than that, I've been pretty much going all day.

I feel like I should have cleaned the bathroom, but that's something best left until right before my company arrives. I also have to get ice yet, but again, that's a last-minute thing. I'm sure I've forgotten something major. Or maybe it's just that I have to make cranberries, sweet potatoes and a chocolate stout cake tomorrow, in addition to going to the gym, getting a mammogram, having lunch with KayGee and getting to Liquor Lyle's by 4:30 for Thanksgiving Eve festivities that is weighing on my mind.

Eh, whatever. I mean, I should probably be in bed, but there are good songs coming out of my computer and my wine glass isn't empty. Also, I'M ON VACATION. Shit will work itself out. Right?

Say it ain't so, Chrome.

2011-11-21T23:41:00.000-06:00

I've logged into Firefox from my laptop and I'm able to compose a post. Twitter appears to be working just fine, too. BOO.

Anyway, my vacation is starting out pretty well, I suppose. I worked a full eight hours today. I was hoping I'd be able to cut it a bit short -- especially after working a couple of hours yesterday. But no. Oh well.

I did get to go to the gym on my "lunch" hour today. It made me feel so fancy -- like a lady of leisure or something. I even ran TWO errands. TWO!

For some reason, I feel like I should have done so many things today. In some respects, it felt like I had the day off. I worked from my couch, after all. Except I worked a full day, and went to the gym, so how much fucking time should I have for errands, cleaning, cooking and all that? I did cook tonight. I did dishes, too.

I don't have to do everything today. I have tomorrow, most of Wednesday and a good chunk of Thursday to get ready for Thanksgiving. I started yesterday, doing stuff. It'll all be okay, I'm sure. Right? RIGHT?

What. The. Fuck.

2011-11-21T22:13:00.000-06:00

I still can't get a new post page to load on Blogger whether it is with the old or new interface. That hasn't changed since yesterday, but now I can no longer Tweet or respond to Tweets.

Is it my new router, or is it something else? Everything else seems too work just fine ... I worked a full day today and my brain is fried, or I'd do some more investigating.

Can't blog via computer.

2011-11-20T21:55:00.000-06:00

I fully intended to write something tonight, but for whatever reason, I can't get Blogger to load on my computer. It seems to work just fine on my phone.

I was feeling a bit lost this evening, what with not having to go into the office tomorrow. I even worked a bit today so I might not have to work a completely full day tomorrow. But there was no big meal to cook tonight or anything. I am on a mission to do a little fridge and freezer clean-out this week for lunches and dinners. Fun!

Okay, doing this on my phone sucks ass, so I am done with this shit. It's also freezing in here, leaving me without the manual dexterity I need for phone-blogging.

NOTE: Inappropriate tags due to fat fingers/incompetent swyping.

Saturday.

2011-11-20T00:00:00.000-06:00

Met my sister's boyfriend today, about 45 minutes after I first learned of his existence.

Braved the first snowfall of the season and the horrible driving conditions it produced. I also lived to tell the tale.

Was mauled by a happy baby who chewed on my hair and the neck of my shirt. At least I managed to remove my big, hoop earrings before she got a hand on those. But she was gleeful about taking two tiny handfuls of the cowl neck of my shirt and stuffing them in her mouth. I'm out of practice around the wee folk. What kind of idiot goes somewhere with a six-month-old wearing her hair down and enormous hoop earrings? I'm so dumb.

Celebrated another birthday for another delightful friend with even more of my favorite people in the whole world.

Did more drinking at one of my favorite bars in the Minneapple.

Cleaned up a bit of my DVR.

Successfully installed my new wireless router. It works well enough that I can now connect to the remote work server. So that means I can work even more effectively on my days off.

Currently delaying bed for some silly reason. In theory, I will wake up and have enough gumption to get going to the gym so I can get home and just be so incredibly lazy and watch nothing but NFL RedZone all afternoon. It's gonna be sweet. Maybe.

Time to bring back a a very special tag.

2011-11-17T21:32:00.000-06:00

Oh God, y'all. I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow. There has been an influx of people on our floor and with that, apparently, comes a new crop of ladies who have no earthly idea of what to do in a public bathroom.

It started out as a lot of paper toweling all over the floors, unflushed toilets filled to the brim with shit, blood and toilet paper and of course, pee fucking everywhere in the stalls. Oh, let's not forget the people who don't quite have the hang of closing stall doors.

A couple of days ago, someone somehow knocked the feminine hygiene disposal unit on to the floor in one of the stalls. Delightful. For what it is worth, it seems like all the women on the floor have their period at the same time, and they've had it for weeks. Today, there were tampon wrappers and bloody pads all over the floor TWICE today.

I've worked in this place for more than three years. That's more than 36 periods. I've never once managed to strew bloody trash all over the place. What am I doing that these "ladies" aren't?

I just don't get it. I don't understand why people think it's okay to throw their trash everywhere on the floor. I don't understand why they think it's perfectly fine to pee on toilet seats or wipe blood/shit on stall walls. Who thinks that is acceptable behavior?

After today, I'm not even that pissed that I'm already giving back half a "vacation" day next week. As long as I can pee in my own bathroom, I think I'll manage somehow.

Awesome.

2011-11-15T21:00:00.000-06:00

My post from yesterday has already produced a visitor.

"Living with hoarder." Nice.

Hoarder or savvy consumer?

2011-11-14T23:02:00.000-06:00

The 'rents want to get me a chest freezer. See, my apartment is small and I have small kitchen appliances. I have the small oven/range, the size of something like this.

My refrigerator/freezer is on the small side, too. I can't get a gallon of milk in there, unless I put it on its side, and that usually leads to leakage. Boo.

I just don't think there is a place in my kitchen where I could put even a small freezer. That's due, at least in part, to my outlet placement/lack of outlets, as well.

However, I could almost certainly fit a small freezer into a corner in my living room, or behind my bedroom door.

The problem? It feels tacky. I think it might make me feel like a hoarder. At the same time, though, I would have a place to put my meat and vegetable odds and ends until I had enough to make stock. I could store my homemade stock. I could do more large-batch cooking and freeze more portions for later (I often end up throwing out stuff that could be frozen for eating later because my freezer barely closes as it is). I could make better use of sale items and my CSA box.

I know I'm not going to live here forever. I also know there's something to be said for making the most of the space you have. I just don't know what I should do. What do you think, readers?

If I don't go with the freezer, I've suggested this as another option. And I've coveted one of those bad boys for many years. I'd contemplate marriage to get one, but this would be a good way to get one without having to get hitched. Except ... I'd have trouble trying to find somewhere to store it.

Heading into the home stretch.

2011-11-13T21:12:00.000-06:00

I have just five days of work to get through before a full week off work and nothing but short weeks the rest of the year. Oh man, it feels so good.

Now, I don't really think I'll actually be off the entire time I'm supposed to be off work. I'm prepared to do work at home for my Big Client, but I think I should be able to shrug off the rest. Looks like things should be starting to wind down, anyway. Hopefully. That is never how it really happens, though, is it?

The weekend turned out to be not too shabby. Of course, the purse I bought Friday night has a busted zipper (could I buy something that doesn't break immediately?). However, I'm so in love with it that I am going to do whatever I can to get a replacement. You know it's a good purse when my mom tells me several times over the course of a day that she really likes it.

Home was actually pretty fun. I got a huge surprise when I found out there was a SECOND DOG at the house. Not a new puppy, unfortunately. It was my aunt and uncle's Gordon Setter. I like her a lot. So I got to pet two dogs. Since Greta (the Gordon Setter) was sleeping in Brandi's kennel, Brandi got to sleep in the house, which meant she stayed up with me last night until I went to bed. I got to pet the shit out of her. It was delightful.

The trip to the winery and singing was fun. Turns out that after a glass of wine, my nerves just go away and I didn't give a shit about screwing up or anything. And we screwed up a bunch. But no one noticed, because we just rolled right through it like it was nothing. That's the really nice part about singing with someone who has been playing and singing with me since I was 12.

I even managed to throw another song into my repertoire. Look, I've heard Patsy Cline plenty of times, but I didn't know the words to "Walkin' After Midnight." It was decided (by mob rule) that I would sing it anyway. Apparently, I faked my way through well enough that my sober dad (he's not into wine) had no idea I didn't know it. So, yay me.

My parents seemed to have had fun. Most of the crowd was made up of their friends. Because my mom told freakin' everyone she knew about it. I had fun with one of my oldest, dearest friends (plus her sister, her husband, her friend and one of my babysitters from when I was a wee lass).

Crap. I walked away for a bit to do dishes and now I've kind of lost my train of thought. It all boils down, I guess, to the weekend that I had been dreading wasn't terrible. I bought some surprisingly good wine (oh yeah, the winery makes awfully damn good wine). Did a lot of dog petting and I think made my mom pretty happy. All in all, I think it was good.

I'm really starting to fixate on Thanksgiving. I wish it was this week.

Ladies night.

2011-11-11T22:33:00.000-06:00

With The Boy I Currently Like getting ready for his Big Work Event™ tomorrow, I decided to do a little girl time with W this evening. We went to Moss Envy for their ladies' night. It wasn't nearly as awesome as I was hoping. The red wine went unopened and there wasn't much food.

However! We had a really freakin' delicious brownie s'more thing that was fudgy and chewy and full of fancy marshmallow. Oh, and I got a sweet purse. It was pretty expensive (for me), but in my defense, I've been looking for a new purse for ages. I've bought several and returned them, because they just weren't right.

This purse, though, was RIGHT. It spoke to me. No, it's true. W said she heard it. Plus, it was 20 percent off! Also, eco-friendly and shit.

Our efforts to get some food afterward were stymied a number of times. No parking for Muddy Waters, nor for The Bulldog. We got a parking spot at The Lowry, but the wait was creeping perilously close to 90 minutes. So, we ended up at good ol' Lyle's. How I love Lyle's.

I guess I'm as ready for family time in the hometown and singing as I'll ever be.

It's the out I've been looking for.

2011-11-10T22:17:00.000-06:00

So, I already told you about my singing gig that's coming up on Saturday. I'm kind of dreading it, but I'm sure it'll end up being fun. A couple of my friends are coming.

More importantly, my mom will be happy. I'm also going to the church ladies' bazaar with her (huh?) and then actual shopping at the mall after that (buh?). Honestly, I'm not sure why I'm doing it. I think it's mostly because, while I would love to spend a weekend that I won't be seeing The Boy I Currently Like having a shitload of ME TIME, it's a great opportunity to do some shit to make my mom happy, so maybe she'll get off my back for a while about doing stuff like this.

I'm also doing it for BB, who did so much for me for so many years while I was in school. And again, I'm sure it will be fun after I've sampled some of what the winery has to offer.

There's been an unexpected bonus to all of this, though. When my mom mentioned it while the entire family was together, my sister piped up right away and said, "Well, I won't be there." My brother and sister-in-law, however, go home all the goddamn time. I figured there was a good chance they'd show up. We had dinner on Tuesday for my sister's birthday, though, and they didn't say a peep about it. No, "Well, we'll see you on Saturday," or anything like that.

This means, I'm off the fucking hook. I don't ever have to feel obligated to go to any of their stuff ever again. How often do I do shit like this? Um, once every five years or so? They came to that one, I think. But I didn't ask them to come. And quite frankly, I don't care if they are in attendance. In fact, I'm kind of glad they won't be there. But in the years since they last saw me sing, I've seen my sister sing at least twice and went to watch my brother in the marathon twice. I went to my sister-in-law's confirmation and I DID ALL OF THEIR WEDDING SHIT.

So, I won't be going to any of their stuff ... ever? At the very least, it will be several years. That's pretty exciting for me.

I have hope again.

2011-11-08T23:33:00.000-06:00

Mississippi defeated the personhood amendment (note: the Google doesn't recognize "personhood" as a word. It's a tip).

That is so beyond awesome.

In Ohio, the collective bargaining law was defeated. A significant majority -- 61 percent of the votes as of the latest reports -- voted down the law.

This is also so freakin' awesome. I really do have faith in my fellow Americans again tonight. Of course, the Republicans/right-to-lifers will find some way to deem these decisions not a mandate or not the will of the people. That's what they do. But the fact of the matter is, the people rejected those measures.

These votes tonight also give me hope for Minnesota's marriage amendment next year. But that vote won't come for nearly a year. Still, a little hope is a great thing.

I also got to spend a little wine-time with Urbanwanderlust tonight and even got a little butt-fondling from The Boy I Currently Like. Not bad for a Tuesday. That a second Le Mystere bra is about to bust another side wire is less-than-awesome news. Great.

'Tis the season.

2011-11-07T21:23:00.000-06:00

It had already been cropping up in the past few weeks, but tonight the whole "inconsiderate assholes" thing at the gym really came into focus.

So, for the next ... oh, six months or so, I will leave the gym most days angrier than when I got there because people won't observe time limits on cardio machines. They'll continue to not wipe down machines, because hey -- who wouldn't want to sit in their ball sweat? Only there will be more people doing it.

Let's not forget the ladies in the crowded locker room who will stand around, taking up space while they marvel at how Whitney Houston has put on some weight. Yeah, that happened tonight, while I was standing there, with my gym bag in hand, just waiting for her to get the fuck out of my way.

Gah. I hate them all so freakin' much.

Customer service success story.

2011-11-06T21:56:00.000-06:00

I know the majority of the past week has been filled with my bitching about my defective bra. And I'm sorry. But it's frustrating to spend a lot of money on something that breaks in two months. Especially when I followed all the damn rules.

I waited nearly a week to hear from Le Mystere, but it was worth it. I don't know which e-mail it was or how it made it to Jessica in New York, but she fucking rocked my world. She initially offered to replace the two defective bras, but since Macy's took the one back that I'd purchased there, it was only the bra I'd bought from HerRoom that appeared to give me no recourse. Had I been a greedy bitch, I maybe would have said, "Sure, I'll take two bras." That's not me, though.

Jessica and I exchanged e-mails over the course of the day and I finally settled on a completely different style of bra from the two I'd had trouble with to have them send me. Because Jessica was so awesome, she threw in a free pair of undies. I have no idea what they might look like (probably I could figure it out on the website, but I like surprises), but hey -- FREE UNDERWEAR.

I feel like I should point something out here: Le Mystere has a lot of bras in sizes to fit the chesticularly endowed. In addition to the two styles I've purchased, she gave me seven additional options from which to choose. I gotta give it up to a company that makes at least nine different styles of bras in sizes for the generously-boobied.

The only thing that has me feeling shitty is the fact that I had to get pissy to get anything done. I also feel shitty for even complaining, once the complaining was acknowledged by the complainee. I think that's my problem, however. Anyway, about the whole getting pissy thing, like The Boy I Currently Like pointed out, "the squeaky wheel and all that." It's true and you know, if you don't complain, how is anyone going to know that there is a problem?

Anyway, even if the new bra doesn't work out (though, I have high hopes and Jessica said she thought I would love it), at least someone listened and provided me with a solution. I think that's all anyone wants. That's mostly what I want, anyway.

Drinkin' and cleanin'.

2011-11-05T22:06:00.000-05:00

I've been rather productive since I left The Boy I Currently Like's house this afternoon. Not necessarily in the way I'd hoped to be, but what can you do?

My errands started off well, but then I forgot a receipt for some shit I wanted to exchange. Byerley's didn't have any Malbec or Zin Bota boxes (they are having a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale). Trader Joe's didn't have any boxed wine either.

On the flip side, I remembered I needed quarters for laundry before I even started my errand-running. When I got to the gym, I found out my iPod was without battery power. FUCK. But then! I remembered I had my phone and therefore I had access to music. Thank you, Google Music. You're the best thing in the entire world.

When I was listening to my gym playlist on my phone, I realized I'd forgotten my phone charger at The Boy's house. Fortunately, I was able to get to T-Mobile to buy a back-up phone charger. I also got an update, a case plus screen protector and a new SIM card. The girl who helped me marveled at how old my current SIM card was. It was still branded Voicestream, for one thing. I've probably had it for as long as I've been with T-Mobile/Voicestream, which is around eight years or more.

So, my phone works better now, I guess. I got to do some drinking and cleaning. My apartment no longer totally disgusts me. And I'm all clean. Honestly, I don't know where drinking and cleaning has been all my life. I usually clean when I come home from the gym on the weekend, so I can get dirty while I'm already sweaty and gross.

I ran out of time for laundry, which is a bummer. But I'm getting a little cooking done, so all is not lost. And I get an extra hour of sleep tonight! I'm gonna enjoy the hell out of that.

Le Mystere comes in for the save.

2011-11-04T16:25:00.000-05:00

Will expand later, but someone from Le Mystere finally responded to me and has made things better. I got my apology and I'm getting a replacement bra.

Thanks, Jessica. You rule.

The bra saga continues.

2011-11-02T22:21:00.000-05:00

It's five days since the wire poked out of my Le Mystere bra; that translates to three business days. I got a response from HerRoom, which is where I bought the bra. That response was, "you're shit out of luck. Hope you enjoyed shopping with us!"

Yeah, no. I didn't enjoy shopping with you. I responded to Jerrica, the customer service agent who gave me the "you're fucked" response. The e-mail isn't going through. The system is going to try for one more day, but then it's over. Yeah. Thanks for that, HerRoom.

As for Le Mystere, I haven't gotten a response from them at all. Oh, wait. I did get the "thanks for following us. Did you know we're on Facebook?" DM from them on Twitter. This was after I talked shit about them. I sent two more e-mails last night to different addresses in their drop down menu on the "Contact Us" page. The rest are all for different countries, but I think I might e-mail all of them, as well. What the fuck can it hurt?

So, I'm clearly out the money. But I can't get an apology? Or even an acknowledgement? FUCK YOU BOTH, Le Mystere and HerRoom. Tomorrow, I start my Facebook and Twitter wars. But it isn't going to do a damn thing.

You're both doing a really great job of customer service, Le Mystere and HerRoom. Just a fucking bang-up job.

What have I gotten myself into?

2011-11-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

The day after I sang at my grandpa's funeral, I got an e-mail from my high school choir director, who played for me at the funeral. I've been singing with her since I was 12 years old, which was when she first started teaching music.

She's no longer teaching, and I think it's done her a world of good. That job wrung her out. For the better part of 20 years, she just kept taking on more and more responsibilities. The school was taking her for granted like nobody's business. So, she got out. I admire her for it.

Anyway, compared to the last time I saw her ... or maybe sang with her, she was in so much better spirits. I had fun practicing with her to sing at grandpa's funeral, and I wished I could have had a more fun opportunity to sing with her. Cue the post-funeral e-mail.

She's been playing occasionally at the winery in town, and said I should sing with her on one of her upcoming dates. I was waffling internally, because I had plans one night, the nephew would probably have a basketball tournament the other weekend. There was one possibility ... as it turned out, The Boy I Currently Like has a work event that weekend.

I said yes. We e-mailed about practicing and songs. I was headed down that way today to get my hair did today, anyway, so that worked out for practicing. I thought I'd sing three, maybe four songs. Then it looked like seven. Now, it's NINE. What. The. Fuck. I'm not sure I've ever done that much singing outside the car.

Of course, my voice was shot today after a couple of days hanging out at M&S's place with the kitty. Hopefully I'll have a strong voice next Saturday. Now I have to think about what I'm going to wear and all that. My mom is already all, "I told all my friends and all the teachers at school." Thanks, mom.

I don't understand why anyone would want to hear me sing. I have a decent voice, but I find it lacking in ... character. I want a little rasp. I want that whiskey-soaked sound. I want something more than what I have. Don't we all, though?

Anyway, at least it is at a winery and I will have access to liquid courage before getting up there in front of everyone. Here's hoping I don't fuck up too badly.

HerRoom sucks.

2011-10-31T21:08:00.000-05:00

I got a response from HerRoom today about my defective bra.

Jerrica responded with this:

Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, since the item is past our 30 day return policy, we are unable to accept the item back. Our return policy does state that items can be returned for an exchange within 30 days, unworn, unwashed, with tags. If I may be of any further assistance, please feel free to contact me. I hope this answers your question. Thank you so much for shopping with us today. We hope your online experience at www.HerRoom.com / www.HisRoom.com was a pleasant one.

Pleasant? Not so fucking much, Jerrica. I replied to her e-mail and to the general customer service e-mail and said I couldn't believe they didn't have something in place to deal with defective merchandise. How the fuck am I supposed to know it was going to fall apart within two months? I also said I'd never shop with them again and would tell my friends, family, blog readers and Twitter followers to never shop at HerRoom.

I have yet to get a response. The review I left Saturday has yet to be posted. I'll be leaving another one. Unfortunately, they're not on Twitter.

You know who is on Twitter, though? Le Mystère. They have yet to respond to my customer service inquiry, so I'm following on Twitter and trying to complain there. My first response was a message from them thanking me for following and asking if I knew they were on Facebook. Oh, believe me -- that's my next step.

This is fucking bullshit. HerRoom and Le Mystère can go fuck themselves.

Where did you go, weekend?

2011-10-30T22:15:00.000-05:00

I am not ready to go back to work tomorrow. Not. At. All. I feel like my weekend was all-go, no being lazy. Well, I did get a nap in this afternoon, though, I didn't mean to take a nap.

Being busy wasn't terrible or anything. I stayed up way too late with The Boy I Currently Like Friday night, then went to watch my nephew play football with a headache. Stupid wine and not enough water. After that, lunch with the fam and some errands, I went over to M&S's house to watch the Gophers beat Iowa and keep Floyd of Rosedale. Oh, it was a fun game.

Last night, I watched The Shining and went over to Macho Man's place to do his makeup for Halloween. He was going for first-time tranny/novice drag queen. I think I did okay. It was a bit of a dream for me to finally put makeup on a boy. It was not a disappointing experience.

Now here I am, finishing up my Sunday night cooking (butternut squash soup, whole wheat beer bread with cheese and chives and oatmeal for breakfast all week). There's a laundry basket full of clothes on my bed that needs to be put away. I kinda have to do that before bed. Oh, and I have to get all the food put away. Shit. I suppose I should go do that.

Oh. Hell. No.

2011-10-29T21:24:00.002-05:00

Boy, it seemed like just yesterday that I was raving about my new bras. It was, in fact, less than two months ago.

Boy howdy, my position has changed. I just got back from doing Macho Man's Halloween makeup (he's going as a lady!) and was opening a bottle of wine when I felt something poking into my side. I thought my bra just needed to be adjusted. Tried that to no avail. I did a bit more investigating and found a wire poking out on the left side.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? This bra cost $65. I've had it for less than two months. I've barely washed it. I've babied it to no end, because I read a lot of the reviews on Her Room and they said to not wear them on consecutive days, to wash them on gentle or hand wash them, to do all the hooks before washing and dry them flat. I DID ALL OF THAT. I did everything I was supposed to do to take good care of these bras. I did more than I've ever done for any bra I've ever owned in my 25-plus years of bra-wearing. And this one lasted a whopping two months.

My cheap-ass Frederick's of Hollywood bras rarely bust underwires, and I don't baby them nearly as much as I've babied these fucking Le Mystère bras. My cheap-ass Frederick's bras last plenty long. I changed into one that's two or three years old just a few minutes ago after the wire popped out of the Le Mystère Dream Tisha bra.

Fuck. You. Le Mystère.

Don't worry. This isn't empty complaining. I'm going to be reviewing my purchase on Her Room and contacting customer service. I'll also go straight to Le Mystère. They'll all be getting a link to this blog post and my Twitter feed.

Edited to add: I spaced about the $76 Le Mystère bra I bought from Macy's and had to return because it started falling apart after oh, eight hours or so of wear. Seriously, Le Mystère, your shit is entirely too expensive to fall apart like that.

Pretty.

2011-10-27T21:57:00.000-05:00

I have been wearing lipstick every day this week since Tuesday. Okay, so that's a whopping three days. However, I don't know if I've ever worn lipstick three consecutive days. If I have, it certainly hasn't been for a full day.

For years, I've been searching for a lip color that looks good on me; that looks good to me. I have a weird thing about lip color. I tend to think my lips look too thin or the color is way too bright or wearing lip color makes the rest of my face look greasy (I swear, it does).

I've been looking for a lipstick shade that is close to my natural lip color for years, but nothing has worked. HOWEVER! Monday, I went to MAC with Urbanwanderlust and the lass who was helping us showed me Modesty. It's lighter than I would have thought would have worked, but once its on with some lip liner, it works. It's barely different than my natural lip color, so it's not a huge difference from wearing nothing but lip balm. And yet, it is hugely different. It just feels like my makeup look is more polished, more finished.

This is a really exciting development for me. I figure I can get used to wearing the neutral shade and then work my way up to wearing something a bit more bold. I can't believe it took me all these years to figure this shit out. Or just to finally buckle down and do it.

But wait! There is another MAC product I must highly recommend. Well, first, let me say that I was never a believer in primers until after I took my first class at the Beauty Lounge. Truth be told, I wasn't even a firm believer the entire time I was using the Stila One-Step Color Correct primer. Once I ran out, though? Holy shit. It totally makes a difference (note: I've used some shitty primers, too -- Smashbox Photo Finish and Too Faced were TERRIBLE for me).

While I thought the Stila primer was great, I had no idea what great was until I tried MAC's Prime + Face Protect. Holy shit. It is AMAZING. For me. Your experience may be totally different, because I know like, a billion people love the Smashbox primer. I thought I was one of those people who was the freak and nothing worked for her. To find something that neither exacerbates my facial oil production nor dries my skin out nor makes me break out, yet also makes my makeup stay on longer and makes my skin generally look better? I have hit the jackpot, y'all.

The best part about all of this is that I've felt ... well, maybe not pretty, but definitely not ugly. For a few days in a row now. I really don't know how much more I can ask for at this point.

Holiday drama starts early.

2011-10-25T22:02:00.000-05:00

There have been e-mails and phone calls over the past few days about our gift exchange for my dad's side of the family Christmas. It's freakin' October.

Apparently, we're going from drawing names to a fancier White Elephant gift exchange. My mom is apparently upset (allegedly my dad is, too, but I don't know that is true). I mean, I kind of am, too, but mostly because I think a white elephant is lame, no matter how much money you spend on it.

I don't understand why anyone thinks it will be easier to buy something that anyone in the family age 15 and up would like than it would be to buy a gift for someone you've known for ... oh, pretty much your entire life.

Man, I don't need any more crap. I think I'll just not participate, but regardless, family drama starting two months early just makes me want to avoid the whole fucking thing. I really used to love spending time with my dad's family, but it's getting less fun all the time.

Day salvaged.

2011-10-24T22:05:00.002-05:00

I did not have a good day today. I was exhausted and foggy-headed. I think I might be getting sick. But maybe not. Maybe it's hormonal fatigue. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I just felt sad and shitty.

However! A trip to the MAC store with Urbanwanderlust, followed by a trip to Happy Hour at Chino Latino has totally salvaged this day. Perhaps even the week. All I know is that I no longer feel terrible. That's all that really mattered.

Blergh.

2011-10-23T21:39:00.000-05:00

I am crabby. Maybe crabby isn't quite right. Perhaps "down" or "in a funk" would be better. Regardless of the exact word, I am not happy today. I'm tired and lethargic. Not too terribly hungry or even that interested in drinking.

Despite all of that, I got to the gym and went to a football party. I didn't stay at the football party very long, but I went. I had a good time. I didn't really think about how shitty I was feeling while I was there. I watched football, drank wine out of my wee Bota Box, sang some harmony on Rock Band and ate some good food.

Then I came home and sulked some more. I got a little more cooking done -- candied some walnuts for spinach salad and cooked up some steel cut oats for the week's breakfast. I did my dishes. Now I'm going to read and dread work. Though, this week shouldn't be too terrible. That will all change, I'm sure.

Hopefully doing some makeup shopping tomorrow will make me feel better.

BEARS!

2011-10-22T23:06:00.000-05:00

The Boy I Currently Like and I took Friday off work, as we both have a considerable number of days to take before the end of the year. We had a delightful day -- we started at Como Zoo, where we went to see the bears visiting from the Minot Zoo. They sent two brown bears and a Grizzly to Como because there was really terrible flooding there earlier this year.

The bears are pretty awesome.

We saw so many more active animals on Friday than any time we've been there. One of the lions was awake, the tiger was up and walking around, the Arctic foxes were running around, we saw the Caribou, and Buzz, the dominant male polar bear, was putting on quite the show, or so we heard.

After the zoo, we went bowling, which was delightful. Then we went to a Nacho Party. It was a really fun day. I'm not sure we've had a day where we've done so much together.

Today, I went to W's baby shower. It was a pretty good shower. There were mimosas and my family wasn't there. I got to pet a dog and hang out with a four-year-old, who seems to think I'm okay. Meeting a friend's family is always interesting.

It's weird -- it's like pulling teeth to get me to go to a cousin's baby shower. But I was happy to go to W's shower today. I think it goes to the whole "family of choice" thing. I'm really glad I have such a great family of choice.

There is probably more for me to write. I made some delicious food this evening, but I am tired and I need to get to bed, 'cause I have to get to the gym early so I can get to a football-watching, Rock Band-playing party.

I don't like talking to naked strangers.

2011-10-19T22:12:00.001-05:00

I was packing up my shit after working out tonight, and my book was sitting on the bench, as I was waiting to fully pack my gym bag until I'd managed to stow my shoes in the shoe compartment.

A woman came in from the shower -- butt-ass nekkid, with a towel around her hair. She asked which Neil Gaiman book I was reading (The Graveyard Book ... yeah, its YA. So what? The Boy I Currently Like loaded it to me) and that started a conversation. I wasn't going to be rude just because she was in her birthday suit.

It still felt a little awkward.

Seems weird, doesn't it, that in all the years I've been a member of one gym or another, that I've never had a conversation with a naked stranger. The last time I had a conversation with a naked woman was probably in a locker room in high school.

Another milestone crossed in this life of mine. Yay?

Oh, and I totally overstayed my two-hour parking validation for the first time ever at the Uptown LA Fitness. I had to pay ONE DOLLAR. It never even occurred to me that I could have been there for more than two hours. I blame the naked woman.

Why you gotta play me like that, Monday in a Hat?

2011-10-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

Tuesdays suck. Today was a Tuesday. It kinda sucked.

The floor of the yoga studio at the gym was covered with sawdust on a day I already used my inhaler on two different occasions.

I had bad cramps and no Ibuprofen.

There was no boxed wine at Trader Joe's and there hasn't been for more than a week.

White Whine, I know. I never said it wasn't a First World problem.

You're not fooling anyone.

2011-10-17T22:35:00.000-05:00

I bet the creepy losers at the gym who sit and stare at the women in the hip hop dance class don't think they are creepy losers. But they really are. You're just sitting on that machine. You're not doing anything but ogling those women.

Also observed at the gym this evening:

A couple of ladies who could have used a really good sport bra. In fact, they both could have used any bra. Anything at all. Those tits are already saggy -- you don't want to be bouncing around with no support.

The best place to train your personal training client is definitely in the space a few feet from the drinking fountains and next to the entryway to the locker rooms. I can't imagine she'd feel uncomfortable or anything. And there's so much space for her to move freely. You're certainly not in anyone's way.

I'm productive!

2011-10-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

Holy crap, I feel like I've gotten a shitload of stuff done this weekend. (Wait -- what's this? "Shitload" doesn't have the red, squiggly underline. It's a real word!)

After I came home from The Boy I Currently Like's house yesterday, I ran some errands, tried -- and failed -- to go to the gym (long story involving a soaking wet purse), did my laundry, made soup, cleaned out the fridge, cleaned up some veggies and did my dishes. I even managed to drink a bunch of wine.

I managed to get up early today and get to the gym by like, 10:15, which has been unheard of in my house for the last couple of years. I even woke up before my alarm went off. CRAZY. The early trip to the gym was necessary because I was going to my goddaughter's basketball game. I did so well that I beat her dad and grandparents to the game. In the interest of full disclosure, I do only live about a mile from the venue. Still -- I made it on time.

After the game is really where I got my chance to shine, productivity-wise. I was the Bookmobile lady, picking up and dropping off books for KayGee, The Prison Librarian and W. I got some dog-petting in, saw some craftiness and technology and bought socks and underwear in between.

When I got home I decided I needed to do some baking, because, despite the note on my door telling me "heating season has begun and you need to get your air conditioner out of the window), the temperature in my apartment has only dropped since I got home yesterday. The heat hasn't kicked on once. I don't want to have to fucking call them. Gah.

Possibly the most exciting thing to happen to me this weekend, though, was that I finally got NFL RedZone. Except I wasn't home to enjoy it for the vast majority of football today. Next week, though, I'm gonna watch the shit out of it!

Remember that other blog I have?

2011-10-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

I've been very derelict in my duties when it comes to my other blog, That's not a parking spot, asshole. I'm sorry. It's not that I haven't been obtaining photographic evidence of assholish parking. I have. It's the getting photos off my phone and editing them and posting them that's been the problem.

But I'm back! I have posted new stuff (quite a bit, actually). I posted submissions that have been languishing in my inbox for months (so very sorry, James). I even posted something that I witness this very morning.

So, you know ... you should check it out. And send stuff.

Seems like only yesterday.

2011-10-15T23:57:00.000-05:00

It really doesn't seem like it was four years ago today that I was so nervous about meeting The Boy I Currently Like for the very first time that I felt like I might throw up. That was until I went to the gym and beat 50 percent of the nervousness out of my body, however.

Just a few days earlier, I was wondering whether or not I should even write about him. That post opened a floodgate of crazy that made me very nearly cancel our Big Date. I don't even know how much I should write about that situation four years later ... I certainly didn't think a woman I'd never met would insert herself into my life and throw things into chaos. Oh, Internets. You're always surprising us, aren't you?

When we struck up our e-mail correspondence, I wondered if anything would ever come of it. When we finally decided to meet, I wondered if anything would come of that. I certainly didn't expect us to have gotten to where we are now.

I'm glad I didn't cancel. I'm glad I've been patient and understanding. I'm glad I know him. I'm glad I know his friends and he knows mine.

Banner week for the ladies.

2011-10-13T23:17:00.000-05:00

First, the city of Topeka, Kansas decriminalized misdemeanor domestic violence. It's a budgetary move and a game of chicken. That doesn't fucking matter. It's Domestic Violence Awareness Month, for fuck's sake.

Today, the House passed the "Let Women Die" act. The bill would allow hospitals to refuse women a life-saving abortion. The woman's life is what we're talking about here. This fucking piece of shit bill passed the fucking House today.

I'm too filled with rage to even write anything about this. It's just a really nice eye opener to see what society thinks of women. Not that it is surprising. It's not like it's 2011, or anything.

I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now.

You don't want to sit in my cooter sweat, right?

2011-10-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

That's why I wipe down the equipment after I use it at the gym. So why don't y'all wipe your ball/ass sweat off after you're done using something? I'm asking you, denizens of LA Fitness in Uptown Minneapolis.

Tonight at the gym I had to clean about 50 percent of the equipment I used. That's too fucking much, goddammit. Y'all are disgusting. I'm not your mom. It is not my job to clean up after you. Why do you have to be such an inconsiderate asshole?

I hope your pet/child/roommate shits in your shoes.

Ummmm ...

2011-10-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

At some point today, I had a blog post all composed in my head. It was going to be fairly brief, I'm pretty sure of that. But I don't remember anything else. Somewhere between work, yoga, Trader Joe's and seeing my neighborhood Bernese Mountain Dog, I forgot all about it.

So please enjoy this picture I took at Trader Joe's this evening. Can you spot the thing that is amiss?

Indian Summer.

2011-10-09T21:42:00.000-05:00

It's October 9 and I broke down this afternoon and turned on the air conditioning. I had to. It was 80 degrees in here and I had cooking and dishes to do tonight. As it was, I was a sweaty mess when I finally finished up.

Sure, it's ridiculous to turn on the air conditioning for probably just one day, but hey -- it's just one day. That will cost me barely anything. And what choice do I have when it's been in the 80s and close to 90 a couple times for nearly a week?

There are a couple of good things about this unseasonable warmth. First, I've gotten to spend time on the deck. I felt cheated much of this summer. It was cold and gross for most of the spring, and then it got ridiculously hot. Plus, all that rain meant billions of mosquitoes. I feel a little bit like I've been making up for lost time.

Secondly, I'm hoping the extra nice weather makes me really appreciate fall. It's supposed to be in the 50s all next week, and I think I'll appreciate that.

Hopefully, soaking up all this extra sun and warmth will make January (and the rest of winter) bearable. Or less hateful, at the very least.

WNBA Champs!

2011-10-07T22:19:00.000-05:00

(Photo from Kyndell Highness/Star Tribune)

There have been close calls -- the Wolves in the Western Conference Finals, the Gopher men and women in the NCAA basketball Final Four (though, the men's never happened, according to the record books) -- since the Twins won the 1991 World Series. The Gopher men's and women's hockey teams and wrestling teams have all won national championships in those days, but ... well, those aren't exactly major sports.

But tonight, that all changed. The Minnesota Lynx are the WNBA champions. They swept the Atlanta Dream in three games. Nice fucking work, ladies. It feels good to live in a championship town again, and it was nice to have a little extra hoops action to store up for a potentially NBA-less winter.

One of those times you wish you had a camera.

2011-10-05T22:14:00.000-05:00

Alas, mine was in my purse across the room. I would have loved to get a photo of the funeral luncheon yesterday. It was epic in its Lutheran church basementness.

We had scalloped potatoes with ham, creamy fruit salad and buttered white bread. The only thing that broke up the beige on my white plate was the pile of dill pickles I added.

This was my first Lutheran church basement/funeral meal, but I'd heard all the stereotypes. It's nice that my first experience confirmed it. The food wasn't bad, for all it's bland appearance. I thought the scalloped potatoes were far more flavorful than those I remember eating at school. My mom sniffed in disdain, though, when I pointed out the herbs in the potatoes. She was all "That's because they use cream of celery soup." I figured it was too much to hope they had really added herbs on their own.

My mom said she'd rather have pizza at her funeral luncheon. I shall make that shit happen when the day comes.

Family time is always exhausting.

2011-10-04T20:16:00.000-05:00

I never sleep well when I'm at home. Never. I think that exacerbates the general exhaustion that comes with spending time with my family. This visit was no different.

That's not to say it was terrible. Everything went better than I expected it would. There were no fights, nor were there any meltdowns. Having to speak to family members I'd rather not even see was awkward, but not horrible. Even the hordes of children (where did they all come from?) were okay.

There were a couple of moments that could have been awkward. At the bar last night and during the funeral service today, my cousin breastfed her baby. My brother and cousin lost their shit when she did it last night and even more people remarked on her doing it during the funeral.

I tried to remind them that it is totally legal to breastfeed in public. No one was disputing that. They just thought it was supremely unclassly. It didn't bother me, but I can see why it would bother some people. There were places she could have gone even in the bar last night and there were certainly places for her to go at church last night.

I'm well aware that this is a super-sticky subject out in the world. Like I said, it didn't bother me. It's not like they could even see anything. Is the idea of it simply too much to handle? Even if they did see something, Jesus, it's just a boob. I was far more uncomfortable hearing my sister-in-law talk about how she thought 45 minutes of sex was "just gross."

On the other hand, coming from the less-classy portion of the family, it's kind of an easy target. We were pretty shocked that no one showed up to the funeral in jeans, if that says anything about some of my relatives. Though, we did have to get my mom to reconsider her outfit ... Ugh.

But it's over. I managed to learn the songs I sang at the funeral in about a half hour total of practice. That practice got me out of family time, so I'm not complaining. My nephew brought some of my cousins' kids down while I was practicing and after the funeral one of them asked, "Do you think you did a good job singing those songs?" I said I didn't know, did he think I did a good job? He said yes. I think praise from a precocious seven-year-old means more to me than some of the other people.

Now I have to get back to my routine. Though, I had a respite. I got home around mid-afternoon and instead of going to the gym or popping into the office, I sat out on the deck and read for like, three hours. It was lovely outside. I think I totally made the right decision. I feel much better now.

This time it wasn't a false alarm.

2011-10-02T22:21:00.002-05:00

Jesus. Every time I think I've written about something it turns out that I haven't. Or I used the wrong tag or am searching the wrong terms or whatever.

I thought I'd written recently-ish about another false alarm in regard to my Grandpa's health. There have been a few instances of him being proclaimed to have "just a matter of time" left and that just wasn't the case. The most recent was in late July when he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and he could go any day.

Well, he finally did go yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. I had a pretty strong feeling this time would be different, since my mom said she had gone on Friday to say her goodbyes. I don't yet know what exactly it was that finally killed him. I mean, he was 92. He'd had a recent bout with pneumonia. He'd had several strokes. He had Parkinson's. He had fallen and had a head injury. I suppose saying, "it's only a matter of time," is a safe bet when you get to 92.

I don't really fell like rehashing the things I've been writing about my mom's parents over the years. I don't feel a whole lot right now. I'm glad he's not suffering. Knowing the things I've learned over the last few years about my mom's parents, though, I find it hard to feel much of anything toward those people. And I feel bad about that.

Now I get to deal with coworkers' sympathies, which I don't exactly know how to handle. I suppose a thank you will suffice. There are just some people who don't need to get the whole complicated family story. Hopefully I'll be able to just get in and work for a few hours and take off. I already spent a good four hours working today. With a half day tomorrow, I probably don't need to take a half day off ... you know what, maybe I just won't.

Whatever. I'm dreading the family interaction tomorrow and Tuesday. I don't know what it is going to be like. I hope against hope my asshole cousins will keep the drama to themselves and won't start shit. But ... man, I don't know. It's not a fucking competition. I know why some of my cousins love them, but I don't think they have any sort of a clue as to why the rest of us feel the way we do about them. They don't know they way our grandparents treated my mom and another of her sisters when they were kids.

Crap. I feel like I'm rambling. I have a lot to do yet tonight. At least I get to see my favorite doggie when I'm home, even if just for a little while.

I am hero!

2011-09-29T22:38:00.000-05:00

One of those nasty skanks from the office next door lost her credit/debit card on the nasty floor of the bathroom.

I picked that card up and put it in an envelope with information and stuck it in the mail slot (that's what she said) of the management company.

Okay, so I considered just throwing it away. But the point is I didn't do that. I am a HERO. And you know, I'm all about "do unto others," especially when it comes to the bathroom, so why not when they lose a card in the bathroom?

Sometimes I really hate being nice.

2011-09-27T22:32:00.000-05:00

I hate being the person who has to flexible or considerate or whatever. I mean, I don't have to, I guess. But if I don't, I might be branded the bitch or unreasonable or ... who knows. I just know I've gotta do it.

Gym chronicles.

2011-09-26T21:57:00.000-05:00

When I got to the gym tonight (late, because after working late, I had to go to St. Paul to retrieve my phone charger from The Boy I Currently Like's house), there was a girl laying on one of the benches in the locker room.

Now, that kind of thing might not seem like a big deal. However, the locker room is situated so that each bank of ... I don't know, maybe 32 lockers (I really have no idea how many there are, but they go into the 120s), has a single bench to accommodate everyone using that bank of lockers. If there are more than two people -- three maximum -- using the bench at at time, it's a cluster fuck. Often a single woman can make it impossible to use the bench, because she has her shit spread out everywhere. Fuck. You.

So, when there is a full-grown woman stretched out on the bench, reading shit on her phone, no one else can use the damn thing. If she was hurt, maybe it would be different. But she was just loungin' around, reading e-mails or texts or what the fuck ever.

Maybe I'm just a crazy woman to be irritated by such a thing, but sweet buttery Christ, that's so goddamn inconsiderate. I sometimes feel like a crazy person because I get so upset at the inconsiderate actions of others. And there are so many of those people around. Are they jerks? Oblivious? Who knows? I know I try to avoid doing shit like that because a) I don't like it when people do it to me and b) I know how much shit I talk about people who act like that. I don't want people talkin' 'bout me like that.

And even though I wasn't taking up much room at all on the bench (thankfully, one was free of loungers), a girl came in and set her bag down about 1.5 inches from mine. Dude, really? You could have at least 4.5 more inches and there would be plenty of room on the bench. I'm changing and about to unleash Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. The Girls need some space. Please give us a little room to breathe.

Goddamn, I'm getting to be a cranky old lady.

Running hot and cold.

2011-09-25T21:31:00.000-05:00

When I came home from The Boy I Currently Like's house this afternoon, I found I'd reached an equilibrium. It was 65 degrees outside -- a lovely, sunny, fall afternoon in Minneapolis. It was also 65 degrees in my apartment. My fingers were so cold, I could barely hold a book.

I don't understand why it's like that. I mean, I get that I'd have been warmer if I'd been able to concentrate and do some work -- a warm laptop on your lap will help matters. But I tried for like, 45 minutes and was just spinning my wheels. Laying down on the couch to watch football and read turned into an exercise in pain, though.

Whatever, it was time to do Sunday night cooking. I got the entire CSA box this week. My fridge is PACKED. Friday night I made potato leek soup. Tonight I was going to use one of the two remaining leeks and a bunch of other vegetables to make the Cornbread Skillet recipe that was in this week's newsletter.

Being the clever bitch that I am, I started preheating the oven first thing. That really helped warm it up in here. One cornbread skillet, four hard boiled eggs and clean dishes later, I've stripped off two top layers (down to a t-shirt from the t-shirt, long-sleeve t and track jacket), taken off my slippers and swapped my long flannel pants for gaucho pants. And I'm totally sweating. Yay!

Weekends are the hardest when I'm in that grey-area where it's too early or too late to have the heat on. I mean, on a week day, I get up and am in the shower and running the hair dryer and 64 degrees is tolerable because I'm moving around. When I get home from the gym after work I'm still warm and then a shower keeps me warm and then it's time for bed. On the weekend, though? It's down time and I want and need downtime. But I can't have it, because it's too cold, so I have to be up doing shit. And all I want to do is relax.

Whatever. It'll be 70+ in a few days. For a couple of days.

I should go do some more stuff before I cool down too much. But before I go, I feel like I need to brag a little about going 3-0 in fantasy football and my potentially-new-favorite football team, the Detroit Lions (crazy, right?) totally stuck it to the Vikings this afternoon. That shit was delightful. I'm not entirely sure I'm going to adopt the Lions, but I feel like it's been brewing. I may have stood up and screamed in The Boy's living room today when Matty Stafford hit Megatron for that 40-some yard pass in OT that essentially won the game for them. Hahahahahahahaha.

(Also, God, I'm so fucking boring. Just bitching about being cold and talking about what I'm cooking/baking. But it's better than my bitching about work, right? Change of pace and so on?)

Heatin' it up.

2011-09-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

So, it's cold in my apartment. It's that time of year when it cools down, but it's way too early to turn on the furnace. And living in an apartment building, the management company is of course stingy with the heat. Save for a couple of years ago when they turned the heat on in August and I called because ... it was AUGUST.

It's supposed to be 72 on Tuesday. It was supposed to be 80 on Sunday. They keep revising the forecast down, which is disconcerting.

When I woke up this morning it was 64 in here. Nice sleepin' weather, but not nice for being outside bed. Or outside the shower. I formulated a plan, though, and I went with it. I went to the gym, which raised my body temperature. Unfortunately, I ran errands for like, an hour after. So I cooled down.

Since I got home shortly before 8:00, I've had the oven/stove on and I've been washing dishes. I made rocky road brownies and potato leek soup. I somehow managed to raise the temp FOUR DEGREES. Of course, it's 11:20 and I haven't showered yet. But whatever.

Thankfully, I'll be out and about much of tomorrow. It's also supposed to be warmer outside than inside (by only a couple of degrees, but still ...). Maybe it'll warm up a bit?

I just realized I'm freakin' exhausted. I need to get into the shower and get my ass into bed.

G'night, y'all.

Weird day.

2011-09-21T21:24:00.000-05:00

I was really busy at work all day, but kept sneaking checks of Twitter and news sites to keep updated on the Troy Davis execution.

Sure, there were several times I had 100+ tweets to read, but I managed to get caught up. Mostly because I stayed at work until 6:45. I'd planned to leave "early" at 5:30. I use the quotation marks because leaving at 5:30 wouldn't have been early. It would have been on time, if not a little late. It was just earlier than I had left the previous couple of days.

Probably I feel a little weird because I didn't go to the gym. But starting a workout at nearly 8:00 (I had errands to run after work) is bad news bears for me. I'd be up really late. And I'll probably be up until midnight as it is.

The weird feelings might have started last night. I was supposed to leave work early and go home for a wake. The brother of an old friend/son of my parents friends/guy I went to high school with/guy I spent a lot of time around while growing up committed suicide on Friday night. There's so much to say about this that I can't even really say anything about it, other than, it's a goddamn motherfucking shame.

So that was still with me today when I was watching this pending execution with bated breath. I am glad it's been delayed. I hope against hope it doesn't happen. I know I've talked about this plenty of times in this space. I'm unabashedly against the death penalty. It's barbaric. It's wrong. It's a national embarrassment. Regardless of the facts of this particular case, there have been too many exonerations for us to keep doing it. Never mind that it isn't a deterrent and it is much, much, much more expensive than keeping someone in prison for life.

And now I'm hearing the Supreme Court has denied a stay of execution. Fuck you, Georgia. Fuck you, America. I'm done.

Like walking on a cloud.

2011-09-19T21:41:00.001-05:00

I was really excited to go to the gym tonight, because I got new gym shoes from Brooks this weekend (they're the blue ones, not the default color).

I went to the Running Room to redeem my Groupon that expired Saturday. I know, I know. I'd expected the place to be packed, but it wasn't and I was in and out in under 30 minutes. Apparently, they'd been very busy in the morning, when I was cold and windblown at my nephew's football game.

The Running Room has a reputation as a hands-on place. They watch you walk and all that to tailor your shoe selection to your specific needs. That's all fine and good, but I was expecting more than I got. I know my arches are shitty and I overpronate and that's the cause of a good chunk of my knee problems right there. So, we probably could have dispensed with all that, but I imagine it's good for people who haven't been aware of their fucked up leg problems for half their life (or more, now that I think about it ... shit, I'm old).

Still, I'd rather have them be hands-on than hands off and lead me to fend for myself. I was pretty efficient and tried on like, eight pairs of shoes. Some were easy to dismiss because my stupid narrow heels slid out. I settled on the last pair I tried, which were also the most expensive. They were also the coolest, though, too.

Honestly, they feel like they're just packed fucking full of cushion. They'll take a bit of breaking in and getting used to -- they're so built up on the inside part of the foot that I feel a bit wobbly on the outside -- but I really like them. My left knee has been bothering me for a good two weeks, but has been getting better, especially after a four-day break from the gym. I'd just been doing mostly arms and light cardio over the last couple of weeks, but today I did a regular workout and when I was showering a bit ago, I realized my knee actually feels better than it did before I went to the gym. Nice!

My other weekend purchases weren't as successful. Okay, I didn't actually purchase the eyeshadow I got from Ulta. I used my quarterly reward certificate to get three shadows and a nail polish. I should have gone for the dry shampoo and the nail polish. If only I could have found a perfume I wanted. I didn't do a good job of maximizing my free shit. The three shadows I got (Glamazon, Sapphire and Sin City) all look black. Which would be great if I wanted a black shadow. But I already have two -- a matte one and a sparkly one.

Still, it's free shit. And I finally hit 10,000 points with Aveda, which means I get a $150 gift certificate. Massage, here I come!

It's gettin' hot in here.

2011-09-18T21:52:00.000-05:00

What with the near-freezing temperatures and all, it's been a might bit nipply up in Casa de Bacon over the last several days. However, a couple of days of more near-normal temps and a few hours of using the oven and stove and washing dishes have jacked up the temp in here. Yay!

I shouldn't have to worry too much over the next several days, as the high temps are supposed to be in the 70s for most of the 10-day forecast. I couldn't turn the heat on, since the management company controls that shit, but I'm still glad we toughed it out.

The chilly weekend was made more bearable by the fact that I wasn't home most of the weekend. I went to the Twins game with the fam Friday night. I was up and out of the house by 10:00 Saturday to go to the nephew's football game. I was home briefly between the game, running errands and heading out to The Boy I Currently Like's place.

What with all the cooking I've done tonight, I've not been cold at all. I made pork chops in a white wine sauce with rosemary and garlic, oven-roasted potatoes and shortbread. I'll go ahead and assume the shortbread is good and proclaim the weekend cooking a success.

I feel bummed there's nothing exciting to discuss. I got new gym shoes. I had a Groupon for the Running Room and got some sweet new kicks. I got a cool '60s vintage purse for just $18 from Blacklist Vintage. Um ... that's about it.

This just in: I'm boring.

Nerds and boobs -- together at last.

2011-09-15T21:47:00.000-05:00

Holy shit. NERD BRAS.

I would be delighted simply by the names of those bras, but even more delightful is that they come in my size. At least a few of them.

Despite the fact that they are really fucking expensive (twice as much as my "expensive" bras), I think I'm going to need to get the Tatooine or the Edoras. Maybe both?

Found this via Sarah Thyre, my favorite person on Twitter.

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

2011-09-14T23:35:00.000-05:00

It was 44 degrees warmer on Monday than it is right now. It's 21 degrees colder in my apartment right now than it was outside on Monday. Yeesh. I'm wearing layers and slippers and when I get home tomorrow night, I'm gonna wish the heat was on.

This has been one of the craziest weather years I can remember. We had obscene amounts of snow, no spring to speak of, a ridiculously hot and humid summer and now an early freeze. What's one more record, right?

But this whole climate change thing is bullshit, right?

Weeknight baking.

2011-09-13T22:02:00.000-05:00

I didn't intend to do any baking tonight. However, when I got to the gym, I found I'd forgotten my sport bra. Mother. Fucker. I drove all the way to St. Louis Park to go to yoga and I was thwarted. This has taught me something, however. I'm going to pack my old sport bra in my gym bag so I have it for occasions such as this.

My forgetting of contacts/glasses on a number of occasions led me to put contacts, glasses and contact cases in my travel bags, too. I have a problem with packing things in the in morning. I should really do it in the evenings, but I never get around to it.

So, I decided to try to use my time wisely and I made dried cherry muffins and goulash. Nothin' like comfort food when it's supposed to freeze tomorrow night.

Wait. What? It's supposed to freeze tomorrow night? Oh for the love of ...

Most shocking about this evening, I think, is the fact that I've yet to pick up my book. I could have been reading for three hours! But I decided to do stuff! But now The Daily Show is on and I expect them to talk about the Tea Party crowd at the debate last night cheering for the death of a person without insurance. Yeah.

Hello, Fall.

2011-09-12T21:37:00.002-05:00

Ah, it's that fantastic time in Minnesota where we have wild temperature swings. We kinda had one ... 10 days ago? It was 89 today (after several days of high 80s-early 90s). It will be 72 tomorrow and 58 on Wednesday. Yay!

Look, I'm not really bemoaning the cooler weather. I was as sick of the heat as everyone else. The thing is, though, it may be 90 degrees during the day, but it doesn't feel nearly as hot as it did in July or August. But hey -- I enjoy good sleeping weather as much as the next person. So, bring it on.

Fucking Wes Welker. Someone needs to hold him down and punch him in the junk. Repeatedly.

Why yes, I am watching Monday Night Football. I was not going to write anything about football, but my fantasy football team is on the verge of a come-from-behind win, so I've changed my mind. Not only am I (hopefully) going to start the season 1-0, the last time I checked, I was in first place in the I Dislike Your Favorite Team pick 'em contest.

You may remember that I had a pretty good year last year, picking games. However, I didn't get my goddamn Jebus statue until last month. I needled Big Blue Monkey about it a few time, but mostly I forgot.

It says "Jesus is my coach." Well, Jesus apparently doesn't give a damn about his offensive line, because he's about to get tackled for a loss. Nice work, Savior. Despite our Lord's questionable coaching abilities, I am still happy to have it. YAY ME.

As long as I'm talking about coaches, I should probably mention my excitement about the Timberwolves new coach, Rick Adelman. Truth be told, I never much liked him when he coached at Sacramento, Houston and Portland. Mostly because those teams always had our number. I couldn't be happier that he's the Wolves new coach.

Now, if only there was going to be a basketball season. C'mon, NBA, get that shit figured out.

I didn't really mean this to be a sports post, but here we are. I meant to post yesterday about the weekend, but surprise, surprise -- I was caught up reading. But I'm on the last of the published books in the George R.R. Martin A Song of Fire and Ice series. You'll have me back spouting inane shit soon enough.

The weekend was good. We went out for dinner Friday night for KayGee's birthday. It was yet another successful social outing for The Boy I Currently Like. I'm so proud of him. I'm glad he was able to not only make it through the night, but he said he had fun. He said it a number of times. I have to believe that is true.

Went to the Herkimer's Oktoberfest on Saturday. Jesus H. Christ. There were so many fucking hipsters there. The air was thick with irony. I hated them so much. And the beer was not good. But I was outside. It was lovely. There was music and Law Talkin' Gal, her Doctor Friend and Macho Man. It was a delightful evening.

What did I do to deserve this?

2011-09-07T21:52:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I was drawn to the Republican presidential debate this evening. And like an idiot, I didn't fight the urge. I should have resisted, because it was torturous. I didn't even see that much of.

Because I didn't see all of it, I can't say for sure which part was truly the worse. I really, really hated the round of applause that Rick Perry got for his execution record. I threw up a little in my mouth. There's your culture of life from the GOP -- applause for state-sponsored murder. YAY!

I'm glad to hear that Bachmann is deemed a loser in the debate. I was shocked to see Newt was still in the race. Huntsman's wussing out of the opportunity to call out his opponents for being a bunch of anti-science loons was disappointing. I mean, you're a reasonable person who believes in science. Clearly, you're not going far in this race. Take the opportunity when it arises!

I also caught a bit of Rick Santorum talking about evolution in the MSNBC post-mortem. In the actual debate, the moderators made note of his devout Catholicism. I was raised Catholic and went to years and years of CCD classes. Santorum said he accepted evolution on a microorganism level, but not in regard to the human species. First of all, there's a lot of room in between those things. Second, I was taught in my CATHOLIC religious education classes about evolution. We learned about eras and epochs and fossils and early humans. So fuck off, Santorum.

Hello. Where have you been all my life?

2011-09-06T21:08:00.000-05:00

I popped into Trader Joe's last night after yoga for some supplies and wine. When I went into the wine shop, I grabbed a basket, so as to facilitate my purchase of a half dozen bottles of Cab and Shiraz.

But, oh. What's this? A boxed wine display? It's $9.99 for three liters? Shit, I put my basket back and grabbed two boxes of Shiraz. That appeared to be the only option. I didn't pay any mind to what the white was.

Of course, I had to try a glass (or two) as soon as I got home. Holy shit, y'all. It. Is. Delicious. It is considerably better than the bottled Charles Shaw brand Shiraz or Cab. Those are the only Chuck varieties I drink, really. It's absolutely up there with Bota Box and the Big House boxed wines.

I'm so excited for another cheap, delicious wine option. And this is seriously cheap. It is four bottles for $10. That is $2.50 per bottle. It's better than most $3 wines. Probably better than even more expensive wines. Let's not forget it is kinder to Mother Earth, as well.

I'm absolutely, 100 percent in love. Sorry for staying away for so long, Trader Joe's. I'll be back on the regular.