22 April 2013

In my mind, my summer is already ruined.

Man, this imagination of mine sure is somethin'. It's enough on it's own, but combined with my penchant for ratcheting up from next-to-nothing to absolute-worst-case-scenario ...

I have new upstairs neighbors. They've lived here maybe a week or so and they're already on my shit list. Thanks to them, I've already taken two ice-cold showers (and washed my dishes in cool water ... you'll know what killed me when I turn up dead!), which is really great post-workout. You want those muscles to stiffen up as much and as quickly as possible. And a cold shower is really great at like, 10:00 at night. Because the thing you need right before bed is to be shocked into awakeness.

Also, I'm fairly certain at least one of them is M. Piedlourde. They wake me up in the morning, stomping around and have been causing pieces of plaster to fall from my bedroom ceiling (you'll know what caused it if I turn up dead by being crushed instead of falling victim to some sort of food borne illness).

However, I'm not worried they're going to use the deck when it gets nice out. I'm not sure why I'm so convinced of this fact, but  ... well, I just feel it, okay? And I can't fucking handle going through that again. I never did get an answer as to when the designation of the deck going with this apartment to belonging to the entire building happened. Management never returned that phone call.

I can't handle having people out there when I'm in here, 10 feet away, just trying to live my damn life. I lose so much if that happens.

Probably its this GODDAMN SNOWSTORM messing with my head. Though, I thought I'd come to terms with it. Maybe I just think I came to terms with it. I still have my argument about my deck being the one thing that never gets shoveled when the building maintenance people come to shovel sidewalks. If it was communal property, shouldn't they clear it, too?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try to talk myself down with some wine so maybe I can go to damn sleep later.

18 April 2013

Oh boy, guys. Shit's about to get real.

I am less than 48 hours away from meeting the mother of The Boy I Currently Like.

Wait.

What?

I'm freaking out just a little bit. But then I'm not. It's fun!

We had big plans to go to Sea Salt and sit outside and eat delicious seafood. There would have been people, dogs and trees for me to look at and serve as a distraction. But we've got several inches of snow right now and we're supposed to get about eight total by tomorrow.

EIGHT INCHES OF SNOW ON APRIL 18-19. Can we please stop denying climate change now? Because, seriously. This shit is fucked up, yo.

Anyway, I'm freaking out a little bit about meeting his mom. She may or may not be a little judgmental. Also, I've never met the mother of a guy I've dated. I'm not sure how I thought I'd get away with never meeting the family of a guy I dated, but I've been goddamn successful up until the last year.

I guess that with us not going to Sea Salt and possibly to a place that has no booze I don't have to worry about his mom being scandalized about me having a lunch beer. You guys, I love lunch beers on the weekend. However, I've heard plenty of stories about her saying to The Boy as he goes to get a second beer, "Oh. You're having another beer?"

Hooooo, boy. She would be absolutely scandalized by my family. A couple of beers at a weekend lunch ain't no thang. Shit. We start drinking before noon on holidays. 'Cause it's noon somewhere, right?

So, as much as I freak out about what would she think should I have a beer at lunch, I also think, I'm 39 goddamn years old and I'll have a fucking lunch beer if I want.

The one thing I know, is that I should not be drinking before lunch to take the edge off. I'm gonna have to go to the gym or something.




14 April 2013

Mother Nature, you're killin' me.

Sweet Lord almighty. Today was our sixth consecutive day of measurable snow in the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area. It is APRIL 14. The last time this happened was in February of 1962.

February.

1962.

YOU'RE KILLING ME, MOTHER NATURE.

And everyone is miserable. This weather makes up about 50 percent of my Facebook and Twitter feeds. Guess I have a lot of local color in both. You'd think that maybe since we're all in this together it wouldn't feel so bad. But that apparently makes no difference.

I'm itching to get out and drink on my damn deck. It's currently covered with snow, however.

Of course, with six consecutive days of snow, glimpses of the sun have been very limited indeed. I really need some vitamin D.

There was a point today where I thought I'd take advantage of the dreariness and do some baking and cooking, but all I managed to do was my laundry and then hours later, make my lunch for the week. The rest of my afternoon was spent on the couch, reading and watching TV. It was all I could do. Well, I did get some dog petting in, which is what saved the day.

Back to the grind tomorrow. I sure hope the sun peeks out.

02 April 2013

Crow's feet and zits, together at last!

You must be joking, skin. C'mon. 

Okay, so I've had wrinkles under my eyes for years and years, because of all the squinting putting in and taking out contacts and squinting because my eyes are light sensitive because of the contacts. But that shit on the sides of my eyes is new. 

And the zits on my nose come like clockwork every month. 

Honest to Christ, my skin doesn't know what age it is. Not cool, Mother Nature. Not cool