13 September 2012

Emotions, nostalgia, etc.

Today, my parents closed on the sale of the only house I lived in for the first 18-plus years of my life. They're going to build a new house on the golf course in town ... eventually. It's been a slow process, but it appears to actually be moving.

When I first heard this would be happening, I mean ... I knew it was coming and I was all, "'Bout damn time." I'd never really felt like the kind of girl who lives out in the country. When I finally moved to Minneapolis for college, I felt like I was home. Wait. That's not entirely true. It took moving down to Mankato and then moving back to Minneapolis for this city to truly feel like home. I had always felt like a city girl, though.

Living out in the country when all of your friends lived in town was torture when you couldn't drive. At some point, it was determined I was old enough to ride my bike to town, but I couldn't do it at night. I mostly rode my bike to softball or swimming lessons. Whooo. I hated it. SO MUCH.

In addition to the big things (namely, being isolated a whole couple of miles outside of town ... if that), there were little things like, not having anywhere to bounce a basketball (my hoop was attached to a fucking tree in the backyard). Big Wheels sucked ass on gravel. And my bike didn't make that delightful clicking noise on gravel that it made on the black top. It was dusty and dirty. My car fishtailed on the washboarded gravel roads. It sucked.

But as I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate some things. Mainly, the enormous yard and the trees. The new place is going to have a much smaller footprint and being in a brand-new subdivision, there will be no trees. They probably won't even have an actual yard for the first year or so. That's the worst. I love sitting out on the patio, watching fireflies or throwing things for the dog to run and get. I honestly feel like the few things I really love about the farm directly compete to with the things I hate.

Still, I was a bit surprised this afternoon when I realized the 'rents were probably done with their closing, that I got emotional. I had to hold back tears. I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal to me. I was wrong. My room was switched over to my sister's (and then my brother's) within days of my leaving for college in North Carolina. I don't know where things go any more. I loathe the shower so freakin' much. The stench of pigs in the summer will fucking kill you. Yet, I'm going to miss it.

This is what my mom wants, though. And she deserves it. With my brother and sister-in-law moving to town recently, we will have ample sleeping space from now on. I probably won't have to resort to hotels in the future. I will be able to go uptown to the bar and get drunk and stumble back to one place or the other. We're gonna have a huge, bad-ass family/rec room in the basement where we will be able to play video games and watch movies and play with the dog and stuff.

And with the 'rents renting the house until their new place is finished, I am going to have plenty of chances to say goodbye. Probably more than I would ever want. I'm going to try to cherish them, though.

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