I have wine and I'm excited to get this shit under way. Let's go!
Christ almighty, this intro is overwrought. And it had to be expensive as shit. Fucking ESPN. *shakes head sadly*
David Stern getting booed right off the bat. Stay classy, New Jersey. Aha! He just shook his head a bit and said, "It's a good crowd." That's sarcasm, kids.
WOLVES ARE ON THE CLOCK!
It's so freakin' cold today (62 degrees right now) that I'm going to have to put slippers on. That's some fucking bullshit, man.
Derrick Williams is a Timberwolf. For now. I liked what I saw of him in the NCAA tournament this year. His suit is pretty boring. It's no Wes Johnson last year. His shit was tight.
These hats are ugly as shit.
Sorry. The Boy I Currently Like called and I got distracted. My response to picks No. 4 and No. 5: WHO?
Also, Bill Wennington is Canadian?
Oooh, the player from the Czech Republic taken at No. 6 (Jan Vesely, by the Wizards) got a super-hot smooch from his lady friend. Thank you, for making this shit interesting.
How long will it be until I hear a name I recognize? I'm zoning out, looking at class at Como Zoo.
Brandon Knight! Hey, I've heard of him.
We're at the No. 9 pick and I've seen no particularly natty suits nor any mothers in ridiculous outfits. DRAFT FAIL.
I like Kemba Walker.
Fucking Jimmer Fredette. I hate him. I was really hoping he'd sit in that green room forever, just like Brady Quinn in that NFL draft a few years ago. That was absolutely delightful.
Hey! Former Gopher Mychal Thompson has made an appearance! His kid Klay was just drafted. Shit. He got out of college when I was four years old. I'm pretty sure I was at the Gopher game where his number was retired or he joined the Gophers hall of fame (do we have one of those?).
This draft is so fucking boring. I'm about to start reading.
The Morris twins appear to be the best-dressed players of the night thus far. And it's only because their suits are three-piece.
FINALLY! Kawhi Leonard (from San Diego State, taken by the Pacers) has a mildly interesting suit jacket -- white piping around the lapels and the matching pocket square.
Oh my god, finally a trade. Not involving the Wolves, oddly enough. It involves the Spurs, so it's extra boring.
Wolves take a European center that would have been a lottery pick last year, but he also apparently doesn't seem to care. Fran Frischilla struggled to find good things to say about him. Hope they're right about shipping him off.
I'm going to start reading now. This shit is boring as hell. I can't believe I skipped the gym to make sure I saw this.
A trade bringing Brad Miller to the Wolves? Noooooooooooooooooooo! And sure, Jonny Flynn has been a disappointment, but I like him, dammit.
I've heard more about large hands in this draft than I can ever recall hearing in any other draft.
That's it. I'm watching The Daily Show and reading Game of Thrones.