07 June 2011


To the woman who cut me off on I35W north: I know there was a state trooper up ahead and you're supposed to get over one lane to give them room when they're on the shoulder. However, I still think I was justified in honking and giving you the thumbs up when you jerked into my lane without signaling (doing it after the fact doesn't really count) and forced me to slam on my brakes at 60 mph on a busy interstate. You had time to wait for an opening; time to signal. You didn't need to nearly cause an accident. Bitch.

To the "ladies" at the gym who don't know how to use a toilet: My beef isn't with you, "lady" who left a used tampon in a toilet. Nor with you, "lady" who left either a used pad or tampon (thankfully wrapped in toilet paper) on the floor of the stall I eventually used. My beef is with you, "lady" who filled a toilet full of toilet paper and then took a gigantic shit on top of that toilet paper.

First, who taught you to use the bathroom? You are doing it wrong. You wipe after you poop. Not before. No wonder the gym smelled so fucking bad tonight. Second, I realize these toilets are automatic, but I can't be the only person who makes sure they flush before leaving. How you possibly thought that toilet would flush when it was FULL of toilet paper is beyond me. Seriously -- that enormous log was out of the water, fully on top of a bed of toilet paper.

How does this happen? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? So much for that "I go to a nice gym now," thing. It took more than a year, though, before it went in the shitter (pun ... unavoidable, I say).

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