21 May 2011

Just can't win.

The work week was epically horrible. As I was fighting back tears at work the last couple of days (not entirely successfully), I kept thinking, "I've not had a week this shitty in ages." Then I remembered the week just two months ago that involved me working 10 hours on a Friday (without brushing my teeth). There were plenty of tears that week, too. Or at least on that particular day.

I was a horrible guest for The Boy I Currently Like last night. I was exhausted and in a seriously deep funk. I can say I tried to have fun, but I mostly tried to just keep it together so he didn't have to witness me dissolving into a sobbing, teary mess.

Today I was slightly better, but really not that much. It's hard to flip the switch when I know i still have to work this weekend and next week isn't looking any better than this past week.

Despite all that, I managed to drag my ass to the gym and run some errands. I even went out and bought some new deck chairs (the plastic ones have seen too many winters). Then I get home from all that and the new neighbor is out on my deck again.

I really didn't want to talk to her, but I had to take my trash out and had to walk past her, sitting right in front of the steps off my deck. I asked her if the management company told her the deck was shared and she said yes. Except, before I even applied for this apartment five years ago, I asked and was told the deck was not shared and went with my apartment. I specifically asked about that.

So now I have to call the management company and find out why things changed. Not only have things changed since I moved in five years ago, they've changed since late last summer. When the apartment upstairs was open, I ran into the woman showing the apartment. She asked about the deck situation and I told her what I'd been told. She said she'd go back and ask them. I never heard another word about it.

As it turns out, it's less about someone using my deck and more about people I don't know sitting outside my kitchen windows/door. It is highly unsettling. It freaks me the fuck out. I feel like I can't open my door to the deck or open the windows on that side. So not only am I losing my deck, I'm losing the windows/door that create the cross breeze up in this joint. That helps me use my air conditioner less and saves me money.

Law Talkin' Gal and her Doctor Friend came over after I talked to the new neighbor. God bless her, she's good with ... situations like this? She was all, "Oh, hi. Are you Jess's friends?" and so on and somehow got them to go to the back deck (which is the deck I was told belonged to the two apartments in the back of the building). Law Talkin' Gal thinks they figured out how the situation creeped me out.

Now I feel like a huge bitch, of course. But is that worse than feeling like I can't do shit in my own apartment because there are people hanging out right outside my door/windows? I don't really know. I do know I've had enough of feeling shitty about all of these things. But what can you do?

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