09 May 2011

First World problems.

My boss sent me an e-mail today, claiming to have good news. It was about my raise.

Now, that I'm getting a raise at all is indeed good news, I suppose. Because hey -- I have a job and they're even giving me more money now.

However, it was less than the minimum I was expecting. Honestly, based on how much more I'm paying for health insurance and related costs this year, it doesn't even count as a cost-of-living increase. Not to mention that it's fucking May (and it won't even kick in until the next pay period, so really I won't see it until June).

It's just disheartening to think about how much I've busted my motherfucking ass at this job ... Sorry. I took a break to watch puppy cam. Where was I?

Oh yeah. It's disheartening to work so hard and have no one acknowledge it in any way whatsoever. I've been working nights, vacation days and weekends for months. My billable time -- the only criteria by which my boss said he was going to by which my boss said he was going to judge our raises -- has been sky-high. I'm not sure anyone on the team had higher billable last year. Do you think that means I got the biggest raise? Highly fucking doubtful.

I shouldn't say no one has noticed my hard work. My clients love my work and tell me or tell others. But what does that matter? I mean, they're only the ones who pay money to the company. But they notice and they make sure to tell me, unlike the people who employ me.

This is going to make me work harder at setting boundaries. I'm going to do my damndest to not work late or nights or weekends. And I'm goddamn sure I won't be working on my vacation days.

Despite all my bitching, it's nice to get a raise at all; especially one that didn't require me to almost quit. This is the first normal raise I've gotten in ... at least six years. My big raise last year was basically four or five years of raises I didn't get all rolled up together.

I'm clearly some sort of failure. Guess I'll drink more wine.

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