06 April 2011

Get me off this roller coaster.

The original title for this post was "Trapped." That's how I was feeling today at work. I mean, I just finished working for the night about five minutes ago. Though, I did manage to take a break to hit the elliptical at the gym today. I figured 30 minutes on the elliptical was the best bang for my buck. But I took the time to stretch, even though I wasn't sure I could afford it.

It was a lot of the usual at work today. Demanding, high-maintenance clients and Chicken Little calling me several times and then reading e-mail and looking things up. I've gotten incredibly short with him. It won't be long before I ask him -- nicely, mind you -- if he could maybe get his shit sorted and call me when he's ready, because I HAVE WORK TO DO. Let's not forget him upping deadlines and forgetting that I lost a day because of rush work that came in on Monday. But whatever.

Not sure what made me panic today. I always freak out when I have to leave work at a specific time, which I have to do tomorrow and Friday, as I have appointments. So, being able to meet my deadlines and yet make it to my appointments has me very stressed. But it was more than that. It's the never-ending cycle of constant stress and pressure and having more work to do than time to do it. It's clearly not going to change any time soon. I mean, I've been bitching about this FOREVER (not forever -- I've not even reached my three-year anniversary).

Look -- I'm totally okay with putting in extra time during a busy period. That's how life goes. But I took this job because I wanted to have a life outside of work. Everything I do, however, seems to be influenced by work in some way, shape or form. I hate it. However, I don't have time to look for a new job, because the little non-work time I feel like I have I want to rest and do fun things. My fucking brain can't take any more work.

So, after a horrible, awful fucking day today, I check my work e-mail to see if the work I sent made it. In my inbox is an e-mail from a client telling me how great a job I did on something for her. Something once again, I thought I did a poor job of, because there just wasn't much information out there to answer the question. I give up trying to figure this shit out. I'm just going to try to get through tomorrow so I can get my massage and facial and maybe feel a little bit better about life.

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