12 January 2011

Oh, joy.

Today, the horrible, strapless, corset bra I ordered to wear with my stupid, strapless, ballgown bridesmaid dress, arrived.

Based on the description, I thought it would be an 11-hook monstrosity like my sport bra. However, it only has seven hooks. And, thanks to yoga, I was able to fasten all of the hooks behind my back. Suck on that! I actually tried to hook it in the front and turn it around, and failed. Then I tried to hook it in the back, and failed again. I gave up and took a shower, but tried again and succeeded pretty easily. YAY.

So I get it on and hey -- my tits seem to be kind of staying in place. They're not spilling out over the top. In fact, they're firmly contained in their own little underwires. I was honestly kind of hoping for massive cleavage, just to be an asshole.

However, that's where it's awesomeness ends. It's so uncomfortable. It digs in under my arms. There is plenty of back fat spillage. I feel like I can't bend over in it, what with the whole corsety-ness of it. Shit. I should have tried sitting down in it.

I have no idea how I'm expected to spend ... oh, I'd say at least 14 hours, in this thing. Honestly, I don't know how I'll be able to spend that much time in the fucking dress.

I'd like to try out some other bras, but I have to return this one within a few days if I don't want it. What if I don't find anything better? What if I keep this fucking thing and do find something better? This shit fucking sucks.

1 comment:

leiamarie82 said...

Oh, honey. I so feel your pain. The best day of my life was when I found a strapless bra that actually worked. Hold on while I get it out of my drawer...the brand is Wacoal. I'm a 32 DD and have had two boob-sucking kids, so it takes a serious boulder-holder to hold these puppies up. Hope you find some way to reconcile the sitch. Otherwise, I say you just go without and freak people out.