08 September 2010

I hate to say "I told you so ..."

Not that I said anything to anyone I can now go back to and say, "Told ya!" But I know I remarked to any number of people that this "flattering" bridesmaid dress that "everyone is going to look good in" would look like shit on me.

After work today, I went to try one on/get fitted and place my order. And I now have shocking news: I looked like a big, fat piece of shit in that dress. I tried on two -- one navy and one brown. I was in the brown one longer, as it fit better, and let me tell you -- wearing a brown dress really drove home the whole BIG, FAT PIECE OF SHIT image.

Granted, it was the wrong color, I was wearing the green, strapped bra I wore to work and I'm pre-menstrual, so I'm extra fucking ugly right now. But that doesn't change the fact that I look like a big, fat piece of shit in an ugly, strapless dress.

Yes, the dress is ugly. I think it looks cheap, and I am pretty far from being any sort of fashionista. So, if I think it looks cheap, that can't be good. The idea of dropping $150 on a cheap-looking, ugly dress that makes me look like a big, fat piece of shit -- a dress I will wear one time for one day -- makes me so fucking angry.

At least the lady who helped me was really nice. And yoga has left my non-flexible arms flexible enough that I can zip and unzip a back zipper all by myself. For a dress that runs small, I almost didn't have to go up a size from where I thought I'd be. I did anyway. I have no idea what I'm doing yet for a bra and how that will affect the top of the dress. I figured having a little room up top was a good thing. I'd rather have a dress that's a little big that I need to take in than one that restricts my ability to breathe.

My brilliant plan to do the dress fitting between work and yoga turned out to be not-so-brilliant. Maybe I left work a little late. Maybe the woman who wondered if I was sure the bride was really registered in Minnesota and could it be Mississippi? fucked up my schedule a bit. And how the hell was I to know traffic would be horrible at 6:30? So I missed yoga. I really could have used it tonight. Poop. At least there is booze here at home.


Little Ms Blogger said...

When I got married 2 years ago, I had one bridesmaid. My only request was that the dress not look like one. In fact, I insisted my sister wear a black cocktail dress and she picked out an awesome one -- and has worn it again.

I believe once you hit 30, let the bridesmaid have some say in the dress she's going to wear.

Jess said...

The last wedding I was in (about five years ago) we got to choose our skirt and top out of a number of styles in a particular color. That worked fine. I picked something I didn't hate and it looked decent on me. Can't wear it again, but at least I didn't look horrible and I didn't hate it.

The bride-to-be is not yet 30, but at least half of the bridesmaids are. In fact, I tried to use "You know, I'll be 37 (for a whole week by the wedding date!). Isn't that too old to be a bridesmaid?" to get out of the wedding, but apparently that isn't a valid reason.

With this being her second wedding, I thought maybe she'd be a bit more ... easy-going and whatnot. She even tried to make it sound like she would be that way. That's not how it's turning out, though. Of course.

Anonymous said...

Title nine has bras and swimsuits, designed BY WOMEN. this might actually mean they would know better what they are doing. worth a shot?

Jess said...

I've heard good things about them. I've also gotten a recommendation from a similarly busty friend. Jezebel also had a highly recommended strapless corset-style bra for the larger-chested ladies.

The good news is, I have time.