Not that I said anything to anyone I can now go back to and say, "Told ya!" But I know I remarked to any number of people that this "flattering" bridesmaid dress that "everyone is going to look good in" would look like shit on me.
After work today, I went to try one on/get fitted and place my order. And I now have shocking news: I looked like a big, fat piece of shit in that dress. I tried on two -- one navy and one brown. I was in the brown one longer, as it fit better, and let me tell you -- wearing a brown dress really drove home the whole BIG, FAT PIECE OF SHIT image.
Granted, it was the wrong color, I was wearing the green, strapped bra I wore to work and I'm pre-menstrual, so I'm extra fucking ugly right now. But that doesn't change the fact that I look like a big, fat piece of shit in an ugly, strapless dress.
Yes, the dress is ugly. I think it looks cheap, and I am pretty far from being any sort of fashionista. So, if I think it looks cheap, that can't be good. The idea of dropping $150 on a cheap-looking, ugly dress that makes me look like a big, fat piece of shit -- a dress I will wear one time for one day -- makes me so fucking angry.
At least the lady who helped me was really nice. And yoga has left my non-flexible arms flexible enough that I can zip and unzip a back zipper all by myself. For a dress that runs small, I almost didn't have to go up a size from where I thought I'd be. I did anyway. I have no idea what I'm doing yet for a bra and how that will affect the top of the dress. I figured having a little room up top was a good thing. I'd rather have a dress that's a little big that I need to take in than one that restricts my ability to breathe.
My brilliant plan to do the dress fitting between work and yoga turned out to be not-so-brilliant. Maybe I left work a little late. Maybe the woman who wondered if I was sure the bride was really registered in Minnesota and could it be Mississippi? fucked up my schedule a bit. And how the hell was I to know traffic would be horrible at 6:30? So I missed yoga. I really could have used it tonight. Poop. At least there is booze here at home.