03 June 2010

No means no, dammit.

How many times do I have to tell how many different people that I don't want my stupid free training session that comes with my new(ish) gym membership? They keep calling. I've told them at the desk in St. Louis Park I'm not interested. When the last guy said, "Okay, fair enough." I thought that was it. And, I really appreciated that he just let it go.

I believe I've gotten a call since then, but again, I can ignore those pretty easily. However, I could not ignore the dude who came up while I was on the upright row machine today. Okay, I'll admit I'm at fault for not being fast enough on my feet to think to lie and say "yes," when he asked if I'd had my free training session. But he could have just let it drop when I said no the first time. Or the second. Or the third. Do I need a fucking reason to say no?

Finally, I got him to leave me the fuck alone, but the damage was done. Yes, clearly I need help because, well, look at me. I can understand why anyone would keep pushing the issue. My fat ass obviously has no idea what I'm doing at the gym, or, I wouldn't be so goddamn fat, right?

This probably couldn't have happened at a worse time. I've been having some really serious body image issues lately. I'm not entirely sure why. The knee and back injuries that put a crimp in my working out for a while that led to me gaining weight probably had a lot to do with it. However, even though my knees aren't totally better, I'm working out at full strength and I can see the weight coming back off, so why am I feeling so fucking awful about myself?

I don't know. Maybe it's hormonal. Maybe I'm just tired. I don't know, but I know I feel even worse about myself for having to leave the gym and not finish my workout because I couldn't stop fucking crying. Thanks, Random Trainer Dude. I was already feeling bad about myself, then you made me feel worse, which made me cry, which meant I couldn't stay at the gym, which made me feel even worse about myself. You win!

But what does working out matter when no matter how much I weigh, I'm still going to be ugly? Working out isn't going to help my awful skin, nor will it make my hair look great. It won't change my weird body shape. Nor will it make me nicer or more fun or smarter or whatever. I don't think about it very often, but Jesus, what is the fucking point?

I suppose it's good that The Boy I Currently Like has his college reunion this weekend (a concept with which I am entirely unfamiliar) and I have nothing to do. I won't have to subject anyone to my self-hate. Just me and lots and lots of booze.

7 comments:

How Does She Do It? said...

Oh, goodness. I so know ALL of these feelings. But also, I want to shake you and say, "are you crazy, lady? You're awesome!" The first time I met you I was nervous because your blog is so funny and I worried I'd be lame. Personally, I think you are smart, so pretty, outgoing, and a great cook. And your dedication to being healthy is really impressive. I hope you can take stock of all the great things about you.

Anonymous said...

Was this at Ballys? I go there and had the same problem...

Jess said...

Oh, Stephanie. Thank you.

Anonymous, not Bally. Though, I finally had my free personal training session with them last summer, after more than a decade of being a member (guess what -- she tried to sell me personal training sessions!). I'm at LA Fitness now.

I told the guy I just had a free training session at my old gym and I watch the sessions at LA Fitness and they look pretty much the same. He was undeterred, "Did they show you how to work out on your own?" Uh, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing now?

Katie said...

I guess I dont really have to be Anonymous but I guess I kind of am since I dont know you!
Im thinking of switching to LA Fitness - haven't decided yet. I actually worked out with a trainer for about 5 months before he left the gym. They keep trying to get me to sign up for more but I tell them I have no money. Then they tell me we can talk about it later. Um, talking about it later wont give me any more money to spend on it!
Im glad to see Bally's isnt the only place that does that!
Anyways, keep it up - don't let them bother you!

Katie said...

I guess I dont really have to be Anonymous but I guess I kind of am since I dont know you!
Im thinking of switching to LA Fitness - haven't decided yet. I actually worked out with a trainer for about 5 months before he left the gym. They keep trying to get me to sign up for more but I tell them I have no money. Then they tell me we can talk about it later. Um, talking about it later wont give me any more money to spend on it!
Im glad to see Bally's isnt the only place that does that!
Anyways, keep it up - don't let them bother you!

Patience said...

I am a new follower. This happens to me all the time at Bally's. I finally just flipped out on them and they have never said anything to me again. It was so bad they would stand in front of the treadmill when I was running and not leave until I spoke to them. Such a pain in the ass.

Crazy 4 Flavour! said...

Problem Solved!

I go to the gym a couple of times a week . . . . . and drive right past, on my way to the supermerket! My wife likes me the way I am, and I like my wife as she is. No problem :-)