23 February 2010

You're such a tease.

A while ago, new TVs cropped up at the gym. They were slightly different from the other high-def, fancy-pants flat screens that went in ... a couple of years ago, I think. Nothing appeared on them for a long time. I was hoping for more viewing options. It is college basketball season after all. I would spend all night on the treadmill if I could watch games on ESPN and ESPN2.

Fast forward to tonight and my triumphant return to the gym (the jury is still as to whether it was a good idea or not). Sometime in the last week-and-a-half, the TVs were activated. Though, I didn't notice it at first. That's because the new TV closest to me had nothing but a "BTV" logo (the "B" of course, is the Bally B) in the corner and a scroll on the bottom of the screen. The rest of the screen? Completely black.

You put in all of these new TVs to run a black screen with a scroll? Really? Decisions like this might be one of the reasons you've declared bankruptcy several times over in the last few years.

Oh, but wait! There is a TV with actual stuff on it. Safety tips for strength training (don't hold your breath, because you don't want to lose consciousness while holding a heavy weight), class descriptions (pilates? balletone? WE DON'T HAVE THOSE HERE. Or in Minnesota at all, as far as I know. Thanks for shoving in our face what we don't have) and nutrition tips (two cups of scallions/chives are an anytime food!). Wow.

There were a couple of things worth noting. Apparently, cardio should be limited to 20 minutes during peak times. When that changed from 30 minutes, I have no idea. Also, you should use a workout towel and clean your machines after you use them. How terribly fucking novel. Good luck getting people to follow those.

Sadly, cameras/camera phones are not allowed, either. Sorry, y'all. There will never be photographic evidence of old dudes in unitards, professional wrestling costume rejects, Members Only jackets, or star-spangled Speedos.

Sorry, y'all.

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