Okay, so I didn't laugh at the guy two treadmills down who slammed into the front of his machine. I guess the joke was on me, because about 10 seconds after that happened, it smelled like someone had shit their pants. And I'm thinking that might have been what happened, because that was the lingeringest fart I've ever smelled. That shit (ha!) went on and on. Can't you fucking hold it in, for Christ's sake?
Another gym annoyance? Machine hoggers. Do you really need to spend 45 minutes to an hour on a single machine? Other people would like to use it, you know. And your towel, book, clipboard, water bottle and other sundry supplies you've piled up around the machine make me not want to ask if I can work in.
Also, why bother coming to the gym if you're going to sit at a machine for five minutes to do one half-hearted set and spend the rest of the time picking at your arm?
Hey, you guys leaning on that machine -- could I maybe use it? Thanks. I don't want to make a joke with you. Just say yes and let me use the damn machine.
At least there was no poo on the toilet seats. Hooray for small favors.