03 February 2010

Get over yourself.

The original reason for this post is going to have to wait, because the dick at the gym who busted up our yoga class tonight needs to get the fuck over himself before the state of Nevada does.

About halfway through yoga, while we're doing a little straddle-legged forward fold and I was moving into side splits, this dude walks into the middle of the class, saying, "I should probably take off my shoes, huh? So, this is yoga? I suppose I gotta pay for this class?"

Our instructor, as calmly as possible, answered him. She said, no you don't have to pay for the class if you're a member. The Dick responded with "Don't I look like a member? I got nunchuks and a whip." Okay, assface, let me stop you for a second here. I've seen the martial arts people with the nunchucks from time to time. But that riding crop you're brandishing? I don't think that's part of the martial arts practice. I could very well be wrong. But I've never seen anyone in the gym with a riding crop. Those are mostly used for, well, horse riding. And maybe naughty bedroom stuff.

Loudass McAssmunch continued continued to talk (loudly), and our instructor said "This probably isn't the best time to talk about this. If you up to the front desk --" and he cut her off. "Oh, I'm sorry Miss Rude. You should be more polite to the people who use this gym" and blah, blah, motherfucking blah. The head martial arts instructor had to pull him out of the studio.

You think she's being rude to you. Really? REALLY? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you walk into a classroom and start asking questions? Church? A meeting? Would you do that to the martial arts class? Fuck. You.

We recovered as best we could and at the end of class a couple people suggested maybe our instructor get walked to her car. Since she walked there, people offered her a ride. I suggested we all stop at the front desk to lodge a complaint. Most of the class was there once I had gotten all my shit together. The manager was all, "Well, if you see him, you should point him out to us." I chimed in with "Master Maurice walked him out of the studio, so he should be able to tell you who he is." As I made my way past the desk, I saw him out of the corner of my eye and identified him. At the same time, I heard his dulcet tones, "Excuse me, miss? I'd like to apologize ..." And I walked out.

Honest to fucking Christ. What is wrong with people?

My other "Get the fuck over yourself" goes out to the people of Las Vegas/Nevada who all have their undies in a wad because President Obama has said people shouldn't blow money in Vegas when they have mortgages to pay and shit.

Wait. What?

Your entire marketing campaign is based on the fact that all manner of debauchery and excess occur in Las Vegas and no one back in your real life needs to know about it.

*insert over-the-top eyeroll here*

You can't have it both ways. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. When people talk about excess and bad decisions, they don't talk about it taking place in Boise or Fargo. And there is a reason for that. Seriously, Vegas and Nevada politicians. Shut the fuck up.


.::~P~::. said...

wow that guy was unpleasant!

The commercials were really funny!

Jess said...

He really was.

AriSpark said...

lmao @ Loudass McAssmunch

@ToyotaEquipment said...

"Loudass McAssmunch" is probably the funniest part of this, great post and thank for sharing it.