18 January 2010

Always a goddamn bridesmaid.

Not that I ever want to be a bride. Even if the unthinkable happens and I someday get married, I do not intend to have a wedding. Going to the government center and finding a judge would be more than enough for me.

Lucky me, though, I get to be a bridesmaid next year in my brother's wedding. I noncommittally said yes when he half-assedly asked Friday night after my nephew's basketball game. Then I hemmed and hawed all day Saturday. My parents and sister kept talking out of both sides of their mouths on the subject. "He's your brother and sometimes you just have to suck it up do it." "You could do something else, I'm sure. But I think he really wants you to be in the wedding." "If you don't want to do it, don't do it. I'm not going to listen to you complain about it." Blah, blah, blah. Shut the fuck up.

So yeah, I'm doing it. And they won't hear me complain. However, you guys will. Apologies in advance. I kind of hope my sister ends up doing a lot of complaining, so I can throw it back in her face. Because I'm a bitch.

My sister also thinks we need to make an effort to do more things with our sister-in-law-to-be, as she won't take that initiative. Because we MUST GET TO KNOW HER BETTER. Am I a bad person because I don't see why that's necessary? I keep thinking my sister is being such a freak about this because a) that's what she does and b) her own divorce has made her wary on my brother's behalf. But maybe not. Maybe I'm just a huge fucking asshole because I think my brother seems happy and his fiancée seems alright and it's his life and how the fuck much more do I need to be involved? Jesus.

Gah. Despite the fun I had celebrating Sarah's birthday and hanging out with The Boy I Currently Like, this weekend kinda blew. And I am crabby as fuck today. Being at work does not help. I really could have used a day off today, just to help get over that shock to the system of coming back after the holidays. But no. I can't remember the last time I had to work/go to school on MLK day. Way to respect a great American, corporate dicks.

You know what else doesn't help? Hormones. I had been thinking -- quite briefly -- that going off The Pill had put my emotions on a more even keel. That didn't seem to be the case yesterday afternoon when I was bawling for no reason. But perhaps even the week Aunt Flo drops in will get better.

I've only had the IUD for four weeks as of tomorrow, and I'm expecting it to take the full three months for everything to settle down. At least I'm no longer getting cramps so strong they almost knock me off my chair. (While editing this entry five minutes after typing this sentence, it seems someone has decided to take a rusty knife to my uterus. Sweet!) And I'm not going to get too excited yet about how decent my skin looks, either. I will, however, cross my fingers on that one.


Stephanie said...

Take some Pamprin and forget you even have a uterus. It's a little trippy.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I've never met my brother's wife. It's his second. He met her after I moved down to North Carolina, and then they had a small civil ceremony for the marriage. I barely know her name, and I think I only know that tanks to Facebook.

I did, despite everything else, feel compelled to at least add her as a Facebook friend, since we're family. However, I smacked the "ignore" button on her mom.

I used to get MLK day off, but then a bunch of douchebags decided that they would rather come in and work on the day off, and so we lost the day. That was at my old job. This one doesn't give the day off. As much as I would have liked to have not come in today, I have so much crap to get done by the end of the week that I'm kind of glad I didn't have the day off. If that makes sense. Hard deadlines suck.

Jess said...

Is that so, Stephanie? I've always just used good ol' straight Ibuprofen. Then again, if there are only two more of these on the horizon in the next five years ...

So, you're saying I'm not a shitty sister, Mr. Jenks? Whew!

I managed to get very little work done today and went home before the sun set. SCORE!

Emily B. said...

Your future sister-in-law wasn't part of the asking to be HER bridesmaid? That's a little weird, no?
I've been on Mirena for about a year and the emotional/hormonal roller coasters have been pretty bad for me. Hope things calm down for you.

Jess said...

Nope. Little Bro asked. I mean, Sister-in-Law-to-be (she needs a less hyphenated name) did say "well, too bad, you're in the wedding," when I first said, "Hey, you guys don't need to feel obligated to have me in your wedding."

Ugh. I don't like hearing about your emotional roller coaster. As much for what it might mean for me as what it means for you. That's bullshit, dude. Either way, I'm not going to get too excited about any "new" developments until after month three. Or, I'll try.

Mone said...

As time goes on you will get to know her better anyway, so theres no need to rush.

Jess said...

Yeah, that's kind of my opinion, too. I'm not sure why my sister feels the need to force everything.

Emily said...

It's okay to be a little resentful about bridesmaiding; it's a financial drain and a time commitment, and for someone you're not even close with . . . eh.

Plus if you're not the kind of person who dreams about your OWN wedding, it's not like you can console yourself with the fact that they'll have to do it for you some day.

Jess said...

I swear, every time I have to go to a wedding/bridal shower/baby shower/First Communion/et al., I wonder just how the fuck I'm going to get payback from these people.

Sadly, the answer is I won't ever get it.

I know that's not the reason you go to things like that, but I can't help remember my mom's response one day when I asked why I had to go to a cousin's baby shower. She said, "So they'll come to yours."

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

No. No, you're not a shitty sister, at all.