Jess, to the people behind the front counter: Two of the three toilets in the women's locker room are unusable.
Woman who, as far as I know, does not work at the gym: And why is that?
Jess: Blood and/or feces, smeared all over the seats.
Gym Dude 1: [sarcasm]Sweet![/sarcasm]
Gym Dude 2: Shit.