30 November 2009

Things I did not need to see today.

1. A toilet at the gym with so much piss on it that I used about five times as much toilet paper cleaning up the pee as I did when I eventually got to pee. Honestly. I will never understand how you can possibly get that much pee fucking everywhere.

2. Old Scrote fondling his wife's ass as they walked up from the locker rooms. DO NOT WANT. You're in a public place for the love of Christ. No one wants to see that. No one. (In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit to being something of an ass fondler myself. I take pretty much any opportunity to slap the ass of The Boy I Currently Like if it's really anywhere within smacking distance. When I'm not smacking, I'm fondling. He returns the favor. But we're doing it in private. We can totally keep our hands to ourselves when in the company of other people.)

However, there were a couple of good decent things happened at the gym. I've forgotten what the first thing was, already. However, a girl totally let me use the cooter machine after I'd finished with the hip adductor machine. After I thanked her profusely, she said, "Oh, you're welcome. I hate it when people screw up my routine." I think I love her a little bit.


Anonymous said...

LOL ewwww...I was at the bar the other night and there was poop on the toilet seat...how the hell does that happen?!?!?!?

Jess said...

As much as I wonder just how in the Hell such things happen, I'm not entirely sure I actually want to know the answer. Women are disgusting, that's for sure.