21 October 2009

Dear Mother Nature:

Fuck you.


Your stupid hormones make anywhere from a few days to two weeks-plus of every month pretty damn miserable, in some way or another.

What's really awesome is when everything is happening all at once for a day or two. I can't tell you how lovely it is to feel suspicious, anxious, sad and angry all while being disgustingly fat, bloated, ugly, gross and disgusting. Banner days, let me tell you.

Try as I might, sometimes the constant affirmations just don't work and I lash out at someone or break something or cry. I keep telling myself that there is NOTHING WRONG. Everything will sort itself out in a couple of days. Just try to hold on and not do anything stupid.

That managed to kind of work today. I mostly held my tongue/fingers. I didn't skip the gym, despite feeling disgusting. I didn't put my fist through a window when I slammed my elbow into the door frame on the way to yoga (though, I did curse myself out). Thank God for the gym. Within about 10 minutes on the elliptical machine, my urge to kill was falling. Falling. Falling. After yoga, I felt almost normal.

Not that the feeling of normality lasted all that long. But I don't feel as bad. A little comfort food, some wine and Gamblor and maybe I'll sleep tonight. Crossing my fingers and whatnot.

In the meantime, screw you, Mother Nature. You dirty fucking whore.


Bill From Gainesville said...

I .... I've got nothing, cant understand.... except that once, when my ex - wife was pregnant, she dropped a grilled cheese she was cooking for herself on the floor and just started Crying uncontrollably, i witnessed that and it was scary to see. of course that was prego hormones and not the monthly hormones but still it was something to see a grown woman do that....

Jess said...

As it turns out, I had a complete meltdown not long after I posted this -- sobbing, unable to breathe, nearly puking. It was delightful. And I didn't even drop a grilled cheese (that kind of thing would be more likely to make me want to throw the frying pan against a wall).