28 October 2009

Is this what it's come to?

Oh Facebook. What havoc have you wrought on our lives?

I was e-mailing with The Boy I Currently Like this afternoon and mentioned to him that I'd been dizzy all day. He came back with "I saw on Facebook about you being dizzy. What's that all about?"

This isn't the first time that one of us has said something like that to the other. He often launches into a story and I'm all "Yeah, I read what you posted on Facebook."

Clearly, this is a sign of the End Times.

27 October 2009

It's good the little things make me happy.

Like hearing "Radar Love" when I walked into Trader Joe's tonight. Mary Lucia played it one day last week for her "No Apologies" track. I heard it once in between somewhere, possibly again at Trader Joe's. I fucking love that song. When I hear it, I want to say "I fucking love this song!" And I often do. But I try not to curse too loudly when I say it in public. Sometimes.

Another little thing tickled the shit out of me today, too. For the first time in six months, I was able to park on the street right outside my front door when I got home from a long day of work and the gym. Six months! It felt weird. It feels weird looking out there and seeing my car, especially since there are very few cars parked out there right now.

Oh, but it's nice. Soon, when it gets cold, it'll be really nice. As long as I have my remote starter, I'm going to use the fuck out of it. I might as well, right?

It's nice to have the street back to normal. I'll miss the quiet, but it's a bit more quiet with the nice, smooth blacktop out there. Other benefits: the lovely boulevard (though, some trees would be nice), the left-hand turn lanes and the marked parking lane. No more assholes thinking there is a second lane and nearly clipping your car. Or totalling your car, as it were.

Then again, given the number of people driving the wrong way down Lyndale just this weekend while the west side of the road was still blocked off ... I shouldn't get my hopes up, I guess.

Also nice, my boss popped over to my desk to thank me for the work I'm doing on this huge project -- for the extra hours. It was almost 6:00. It's nice that the long hours are being noticed, but staying at the office until almost 7:00 isn't so nice. Oh well. At least my assload of vacation time for December was approved. For now.

26 October 2009

Mammogram Monday.

Oh, what a way to start a week. As if a mammogram on its own wasn't bad enough (it's really not that bad), the tech who x-rayed my rack somehow managed to not get a nipple profile on the first two shots, so I had to have a total of six instances of boob-squashing.

Yeah, I said "nipple profile."

This was my second mammogram. I had my first two years ago. The tech said it was good I was starting early, what with my mom and her sister having had breast cancer. Oh, and with my dad's mom and sister also having it ... she kind of trailed off there. I wanted to finish it with "you've got it coming and going."

The experience is unpleasant, to say the least. But it's better than going to the dentist (really, a root canal isn't even that bad. Paying for it is another story). Shit. Getting a mammogram is better than going to work. I know I've got it better than some, because apparently, having huge cans is actually a good thing when getting a mammogram. I can see why, since I have a fucking F cup and the skin from my neck was still being pulled into the vise. Actually, I think I may be back down to a DD cup. Or close.

Anyway, I got my mammogram. It was no big deal. I remember my mom making a big day of it. Her group of friends all had appointments around the same time, and then they'd get lunch and go out for drinks and shopping and shit. Because she was diagnosed with breast cancer at 48, I don't get to have that experience. I didn't have any friends to take the day off with me to "make a day of it" when getting our mammograms. Nor do I have that at 35. So, I got my mammogram and then went to the gym both times. I was going to stop at DQ on the way home, but it would have meant going backward, so fuck that shit.

Before my mammogram, I had my consult with the gynecologist about my IUD/Essure. My gynecologist -- she is awesome. I love her. There was no "You're sure you don't want kids? Positive? You've come to terms with never having kids? You've made peace with it?" Nothing. She asked if I wanted kids, I said no, that's it.

She's fully on board with me getting Essure. She addressed my concern about the fact that it's only been approved for use in the U.S. since 2002 -- the material is used inside the body in a number of different applications. It was just approved for this particular use in the U.S. in 2002. And it's been used in Europe for a while. She's having the allergy department call me to set up a patch test to see if I have the nickel sensitivity or not. I guess that's the bridge I should wait to get to before anything else.

There's also the procedure. Since I've not had a kid, I would probably need to do the procedure under IV sedation with a local in an outpatient setting. That's going to be much more spendy than the $15 I'd pay for having it done in the clinic. FIFTEEN DOLLARS! That's for never having to worry about birth control EVER. AGAIN. And she actually said, "Hey, we could try it here if you wanted." Um ... yeah, maybe not. I like her willingness to work with me.

She was also on board with the IUD. After the PMS I went through last week, I would give anything to not have a period for a while. That's the biggest plus on the Mirena IUD side. She couldn't say one way or another whether I'd suffer the acne freak out or not. However, she said, "If you try the Mirena and you don't like it, we can take it out and do Essure. I just ask that you give it three months."

Seriously. Love. Her.

I've got more calls to the insurance company to make. Much pondering to do. I was really surprised to have two very good friends advise me against Essure. Really surprised. One wants kids. The other never, ever wanted them until she met someone she was madly in love with and then she was on board with the idea. However, they ended up not having a second bedroom, so the opportunity and the urge are gone. Either way, they've both known me for years and have never known me to even want a baby a teenie tiny bit. It's a little disappointing.

Most likely, it'll be January before I do anything. If I get the IUD, I need to time it with my period, which just happens to coincide with the next two major holidays, which will make major scheduling problems. Also, I've got the grace period for my flex plan. If I do it after the first of the year and it ends up being fairly expensive (Essure), I can use up 2009 and then tap into 2010 flex funds. Oooh, I'm clever!

25 October 2009

This weekend can't end fast enough.

It sounds like blasphemy, I know. It feels like blasphemy. But this weekend really hasn't been any better than a work day. In fact, since I spent a good chunk of today working, it's been as close to a workday as it probably could be.

You know what the highlight of my weekend was? I feel pretty confident in making this proclamation, since there's not much time left in this weekend. I mean, what's going to happen? The Money Fairy pops in and drops a bag of cash in my lap? Um ... I can't even think of anything ridiculous to say here.

Anyway, the highlight of my weekend. It was going to my nephew's playoff football game and hanging out with my family. Really? I was talking to The Boy I Currently Like this afternoon and telling him that I couldn't figure out if it was genuinely a good time or the rest of my weekend was so abjectly shitty that it just seemed that much better than everything else. I honestly don't know.

Sadly, the prospect of starting another week seems better than having any more of this weekend. It means that there is another weekend coming up. There seem to be a couple of sunny days in the forecast. We're having a potluck at work on Friday. I should get to see The Boy. We didn't see each other this weekend because he had a shit week, too, and didn't want to have that color his time with me. It sucks that we deal with a shitty week in different ways (I think hanging out with him would have taken some of the shitty sheen off my week), but no one wants to hang out with someone who would rather be alone. I feel like an asshole for not being more understanding, but Jesus H. Christ, my hormones were making me a fucking crazy person. I should be glad I didn't go bitchcakes on him.

Oh! There's more. I'm taking tomorrow afternoon off. For my mammogram. You may think it's sad, but a few minutes of squashed tits is much, much more preferable than work.

24 October 2009

What is going on up there?

After a horribly shitty week, I was so ready to get some sleep last night. Especially since I was up before 3:00 a.m. yesterday and was unable to nap. (Side note: Why is everyone's first reaction to "I've been up since 3:00 this morning," always "Why?" Oh, I don't know. I thought I'd make a shitty day shittier? There was just so much on TV at that time. I hate to sleep, don't you? Sleep deprivation is awesome!) No fucking dice, because I was up at 3:00 this morning. At least I managed a wee nap after a couple of lunch beers.

Here I was, ready for bed after a bottle of wine and a couple of Benadryl, when my upstairs neighbor started having a party. It would seem that all the guests are wearing heavy, hard-soled shoes and he has no rugs. They do seem to like to tromp around a lot and love to slam the door more than one would think was necessary.

There is furniture being moved and something heavy rolling around on the floor directly above my couch. Oddly enough, no music, though. I guess, if he's home, the noise should be constant and there won't be any drunken-comings-home that make it sound like someone is trying to break down my door.

21 October 2009

Dear Mother Nature:

Fuck you.


Your stupid hormones make anywhere from a few days to two weeks-plus of every month pretty damn miserable, in some way or another.

What's really awesome is when everything is happening all at once for a day or two. I can't tell you how lovely it is to feel suspicious, anxious, sad and angry all while being disgustingly fat, bloated, ugly, gross and disgusting. Banner days, let me tell you.

Try as I might, sometimes the constant affirmations just don't work and I lash out at someone or break something or cry. I keep telling myself that there is NOTHING WRONG. Everything will sort itself out in a couple of days. Just try to hold on and not do anything stupid.

That managed to kind of work today. I mostly held my tongue/fingers. I didn't skip the gym, despite feeling disgusting. I didn't put my fist through a window when I slammed my elbow into the door frame on the way to yoga (though, I did curse myself out). Thank God for the gym. Within about 10 minutes on the elliptical machine, my urge to kill was falling. Falling. Falling. After yoga, I felt almost normal.

Not that the feeling of normality lasted all that long. But I don't feel as bad. A little comfort food, some wine and Gamblor and maybe I'll sleep tonight. Crossing my fingers and whatnot.

In the meantime, screw you, Mother Nature. You dirty fucking whore.

19 October 2009

Being social.

For the third night in four days, I have had plans with another person. Granted, I don't necessarily consider hanging out with The Boy I Currently Like to be social. It's ... well ... it is social. But it is social in another manner. Still, I like to look nice and all that stuff. So, it's social.

Then again, hanging out with the World's Worst Wing Woman and now KayGee tonight isn't exactly hanging out with People, either. You know how there is a difference between hanging out with people and hanging out with People, right? There are friends and assorted others you can be around in your pajamas, no makeup and whatnot, right? Then there are people you wear decent clothes for and try to make your hair look nice, right?

I enjoy being around both. And I actually try to look halfway decent to nice around the people who have seen me without makeup first thing in the morning more than anyone should, quite frankly. They deserve as much, I think. But at the same time, I'm so glad I don't have to try so hard if I don't really feel like doing full makeup, you know? It's good to have people in your life who want to be around you no matter how shitty you look.

So, after spending Friday night with The Boy and Saturday evening with the World's Worst Wing Woman, I went over to visit KayGee tonight. This was my third visit to the new condo. The first went well, because it was moving day and the cat hadn't dandered the place up. The second visit didn't go so well, as it was full ragweed season. I lasted just more than an hour. We were trying to find one last halfway-nice day to be able to spend some time out on the patio, away from the cat hair.

We went for a walk on the Greenway. It was our first time walking over the Martin Olav Sabo bridge, which was exciting. It's so pretty at night, all lit up. And the skyline views are lovely. God, I fucking love Minneapolis.

I managed to last about three hours, with a good chunk of it being outside. We managed to drink some wine, eat plenty of cheese and sausage, edamame and a really fucking excellent steak salad. I must admit, as much as I love cooking for others, it's really fucking nice to have others cook for me. KayGee makes a mean steak salad (among so many other things ... God, I'm so stoked for Thanksgiving), just as The Boy makes the best. breakfasts. ever.

Lucky for me, I got to see The Prison Librarian on my way out. She works a funky schedule, so it's hard to see her during the week. It's always a treat when that happens.

The week still doesn't look so bad after a good weekend and a fun Monday night, despite a fairly shitty day at work. Bring it on, Tuesday.

18 October 2009

More Sunday posting.

Last weekend we were battling snow and today, it was 62 and sunny. There was a pretty good wind, but it was still an absolutely lovely day. I was on my way to the gym this morning (okay, more like shortly past noon) when I thought "Fuck this. I'm going to walk around the lake." And I did just that.

This time of year, you really have to take the nice days when they come and get all you can from them. And this is why it is 8:45 p.m. and my windows are open. Also, it's kinda warm in here. I've been cooking, making the bed and doing dishes. I even cleaned this afternoon! Crazy things happen when you get 10 hours of sleep for the first time in ... well, I can't remember.

Perhaps it's just because I'm in the season now, but I'm feeling like cooking in the Fall is much better than cooking in the Spring or Summer. I have stuff in the oven (meatloaf and a mix of root vegetables) and I'm doing all kinds of other stuff while my dinner (and lunch for the next several days) is doing its thing. I made the bed, added money to the dryer, did dishes and now I'm blogging. I'm feeling like maybe it's time to do some entertaining ... something where I could make some chili. That might be Nigella influencing me, though.

I've not done any entertaining in months. I've not really even gone out for months, save for some wedding-related shit. That is because I've been broke as fuck since July. And I didn't really go out this weekend, but I hung out with The Boy I Currently Like on Friday night and then The World's Worst Wing Woman last night. I adore them both, so I had a good fucking time.

And! I'm slowly, but surely, getting back to "normal" financially. I actually feel like maybe I could have people over and not be a totally shitty hostess. That's a good feeling. Plus, I have party invitations for the next two Saturdays and even if I don't go to either, it feels good to have shit going on, you know?

I don't know ... I'm feeling fairly good at the moment, so I'm going to enjoy it. I've got plenty of work to do at work, which means I don't have to stress about having enough to do. The work I have to do is project-based, so I'm not under any major daily deadlines. There is a shit-ton of work to do and not enough time to do it, but I don't have to worry about that tomorrow. There are events on the horizon, whether I go to them or not. Basketball will be starting soon. The Boy's Really Big Event at work is over, and it won't seem like he's a stranger anymore (though, that can make seeing each other after a couple of weeks Really Fucking Awesome). And it's even supposed to be sunny for another day before the clouds and rain come back.

Things are looking ... not bad.

"Live scoring," my ass.

Dear Fanball:

You fucking suck. Your live scoring is at least six minutes behind game time (actually, the Vikings and Ravens is over [fuck you, Vikings] and there are still five-plus minutes left according to Fanball), which is probably closer to 20 minutes or a half hour in real time.

Also, your slow "live scoring" changes constantly. The Carolina-Tampa Bay game has been over for a while. Do you think maybe you could decide whether or not you're going to count those two touchdowns my defense/special teams scored? They only hang around for a minute or so, then I get one back and then I get the other and then they both go away.

Honest to fucking Christ. This is certainly not worth the money we're paying. What's the point of having live scoring if it is a half hour slow and it's wrong half of the time? Of course, in all of his wisdom, Stoner Commish thinks we should keep it. Probably because he knows how to work shit to give him an edge.

Maybe by tomorrow morning I'll know what the fuck is going on with my team.

Lick my ass,

15 October 2009

I'm feeling listy.

Okay, so I'm not feeling like I need to make a lot of lists. However, I don't want to write several blog posts about different things on the same day and I cannot be bothered to remember to space them out over a period of days. So lists it is!

It's going to be a long winter. But maybe not a bad winter? I'm not sure how much I believe it, as the Farmer's Almanac predicted a horrible, cold, wet winter. My winter will be long because I won't get another CSA box until June. JUNE, people! There are two weeks of the Farmer's Market left, but after that, I have to buy my produce in the grocery store like a sucker. Such is life in Minnesota, right? I stayed at work very late tonight to wait for the Very Last Box, because the coworker with whom I am splitting my box was coming in to split up the box. Except, he didn't show up. So I left work very late, traffic was bad and I missed yoga. Thanks, ass.

The stupidest thing I've read today. It was this comment on the story about the Balloon Boy on the Strib's website:

Up, Up and Away In My Beautiful Balloon!

What an extraordionary American adventure story! If this kid comes down unharmed he will be a hero! It's good to see kids curiouos enough to do adventurouos things that are on the edge. Gives me hope that at some of the kids out there are not complete couch potatoe video gamers!

posted by woolyguy on Oct. 15, 09 at 2:40 PM |

1 of 16 people liked this comment.

My guess is the one person who "liked" his comment was himself. Fucking moron. A hero, really? He saved no one's life or prevented any sort of calamity. Idiots.

I should have turned on safe searching. Earlier today, I was doing some research that led me to come across this picture. You'd better believe I shared it with The Boy I Currently Like and my coworkers. You can't keep that kind of thing to yourself.

Experimenting. I made truffles earlier this week for The Boy I Currently Like. They taste good, but they look awful. They could taste better, too -- I should have added more booze. The Social Worker got some and she said they were amazing, so that's good. The World's Worst Wing Woman will get a few, and I'm hoping The Social Worker shares some with The Prison Librarian. I'm glad I tried them, because now I know I can make them. And I know I can make them better the next time around. I'm also experimenting right this very moment with a from-scratch brownie recipe. I tried one last week and fucked it up, and I just didn't have the money to make the Nigella Triple Chocolate Brownies (or the desire to eat them ... God, they're good, but I can eat like, one a week).

14 October 2009

My goodness, how time flies.

The Boy I Currently Like and I met two years ago today. TWO YEARS? It doesn't seem like it's been two years. As it turns out, I kinda felt the same way when it was just one year. I can barely remember the job I was working at when we met. Feels like I've been at this one for longer than I've known him. Probably because it's not awesome.

It's crazy to think back to how completely freaked out I was about meeting him. Asking him in the first place was absolute fucking torture. Of course, it didn't take a whole lot of distance to realize how silly I was to be so worried about whether he'd say yes or not.

Asking him to hang out was one of the best decisions I've made in recent years; e-mailing him in response to a comment on this very blog was also a very, very good decision. I have so much fun with him. It's amazing how much fun it can be to just hang out and watch sports, drink and play video games.

For the most part, I've gotten over what other people think. Everyone has an opinion and many of those opinions said YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. And yet, here we are. It works for us, so what the fuck is it to you?

I think one of the most telling things about how ... I hate to say "special," because ... well, I just don't like the way that sounds. "Awesome" is much better. So, one of the most telling things about his awesomeness is that I hate being mad at him. We don't have big fights, but occasionally something will be misread or a tone heard that wasn't meant to be there. Normally, I love making people feel bad for hurting my feelings. I'm so fucking spiteful sometimes, it's not even funny. But with him? I just want him to apologize so I can forgive him and we can move on. If I do or say something that I think might be hurtful, I'm apologizing post haste. Sometimes my old habits surface, you know. Can't change overnight.

So, yeah. Two years. I'm so glad I got over my fear and became impatient and asked him to hang out. I'm fairly crazy about him and I'm so glad I know him.

13 October 2009

Tuesday things.

It pleases me to no end that after years of not watching Good Times, I can still sing along with the theme song when I have the show on for background noise.

My gym bag has been absorbing cooking smells and is now passing them on to my gym clothes. This drives me INSANE. I've Febreezed my gym bag (albeit with watered-down, Target-brand fabric refresher) and I have really strong-smelling dryer sheets in it (again, Target brand ... maybe that's the problem), but to no avail. My clothes smell like food. I hate it. I'm not sure what my options are, and I do not want to spend money on a new gym bag. That's just silly.

Speaking of food smells, my apartment reeks of vinegar right now. I made a raspberry chipotle sauce, as I had raspberries and jalapeƱos that needed to be used up. The sauce is DELICIOUS, so I guess it's worth the smell of apple cider vinegar that I cooked for 20 minutes.

Today marks Day Two of forgetting my contacts at home, which means I had to work out wearing my glasses. DO NOT WANT. God, I hate it so much. But I still went to the gym and worked out. I rule.

I went in to work for a 7:30 interview today, and of course, the dude didn't answer his phone. I don't know why I bother doing that shit, because those assholes NEVER show up. Ever. Why schedule with me at an odd time and then not show? I'd rather you just flat-out refused. It's not like I'm giving you a hard sell or anything. You say no, I'm like, "Okay, cool. Have a nice day." A few hours later, the project was put on hold for a year. That made me feel better, for some reason.

Of course, when one project is put on hold, another takes it's place. We have to be improving. I don't know how we can't be, as busy as we are. I just put in for a bunch of vacation time -- I'm taking the week between Christmas and New Year's off -- and I still have 4.5 days left to use before December 31. Shit. I might end up using vacation time to get my IUD/Essure. It should be sick time, but if I use vacation time, I don't have to make up some lie about the medical procedure I'm having done. Spending vacation days crampy and whatnot doesn't seem right, though, either.

Oh, and my fantasy football team sucks.

12 October 2009


I could see halfway reasonable people thinking the image below is pretty in December. Maybe even in late November -- especially after Thanksgiving. But on October 12? Not so much. It's just too early.

The normal temperature for this time of year is supposed to be around 60. Instead, it's been in the 30s and this is our second day of snow since Saturday. We're only supposed to get 1-2 inches, but it certainly looked like more than that on my car already this morning.

Of course, it's supposed to be near 60 on Sunday, so this isn't going to last. Hopefully, it'll be nothing but a bad memory in a couple of days.

10 October 2009


Wake up.

See snow on the ground, cry a little.

Lay on couch.

Freeze ass off watching little kids' football.

Lay on couch.

Nap (while laying on the couch).

Lay on couch.


Lay on couch.

Totally-from-scratch green bean casserole and oven-fried chicken breasts.

Lay on couch.


Lay on couch.

Surprised to be awake at 10:53 p.m.

Next up: bed.

08 October 2009

Well, that was unexpected.

Turns out I lied even worse about how much I drank last year on my health assessment. Only two to three drinks a week? Lady, what were you thinking? But that's not what this post is about. I promised a recap of my preachy doctor.

Last year at my annual exam, I was considering switching my birth control to the IUD. When I discussed it with my doctor, who was only going to give me a referral to talk to a gynecologist about it, she went on and on about how I needed to have come to terms with not wanting kids, how I needed to have made peace with not wanting kids.

It was annoying, to say the least. However, in her defense, she was prepping me for the gynecologist. She or he would be the one determining whether or not I was worthy of an IUD and I had to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I didn't want kids.

When it came down to it, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to talk about it with The Boy I Currently Like. I just wasn't ready for that level of commitment to anything or anyone.

But now? I'm ready. I was ready several months ago. When exactly I decided to bring it up with The Boy kind of escapes me ... it was July or August. I wasn't sure we were ready to talk about it, but I figured putting the subject out there well in advance would give us discuss anything issues that might come up around it.

That wasn't necessary. After getting over my "Hey, can I talk to you about something before we get too drunk," inelegant opener to the conversation (you should have seen his face), he was fully on board. The benefits to me and the fact that all he has to do is not fuck around on me and take me to and from the insertion appointment sold him on it, I guess. And I made absolutely certain he knew how badly my lady parts could be fucked up if I was to contract an STD with an IUD.

Fast forward to today. While discussing with my doctor what prescriptions I would need refills for (uh, all of them?), we came to my birth control pills and I brought up the discussion from last year. I told her I was ready this year and she said, "You're sure you don't want kids?" Yes. "Positive? We probably talked about this last year," and that was it.

Really? That's it? I did mention that I still wasn't sure, because in the course of my research, I've read about women developing really bad acne once they had the hormonal IUD inserted. No one I know has had that problem and my doctor wasn't even aware that was a side effect, but Pizza Face is the last fucking thing I need. My skin is bad enough, for fuck's sake.

So, I thought that was it. But while she was moving from my Pap to the internal exam, she was struck with an idea. There was another birth control option. It is called Essure. I'd never heard of it; it's relatively new. She apologized for forgetting about it and gave me a brief rundown. It is non-hormonal, and it is permanent.

Wait. What? Permanent?

Y'all -- it's non-surgical sterilization. They insert these itty-bitty springs in the opening of your Fallopian tubes and after three months, it scars over and you won't get pregnant. It's done in the clinic and takes less than an hour -- the average time for the actual procedure is 13 minutes. Also, the company's website says that if you get it done in the clinic, you might have to drop a copay. That can't be right, but if I could spend $15 on permanent birth control, I AM SO THERE.

First of all, after the discussion last year, the fact that she just mentioned this off-hand kind of floored me. Also, I AM SO EXCITED. I don't want to get too excited, but I'm really fucking excited. She said she thought they'd recommend it for me. I've only done the most cursory of research. It concerns me that they don't know what the long-term effects of it are, as it is very new. There's a three-month transition period where you need to use alternative birth control, but from what I've seen, I could use The Pill for that. You can't have it if you have a nickel sensitivity and I can't wear anything but sterling silver or gold jewelry, but they do a skin test.

I just can't fucking believe that she mentioned this so nonchalantly and that I might actually be able to do it. My consult with the gynecologist isn't until late this month (right after, I get to have my mammogram! Wheeeeeeeee!), so I have time to talk with The Boy about it and do research on these tiny springs. But seriously, you guys, I'm really fucking stoked about the possibilities here.

07 October 2009

Now that's what I call health care.

I was filling out my health assessment (read: lying about how much I drink) in preparation for my annual exam tomorrow and read on the little "What to expect on your preventative medicine exam" sheet that as a part of my exam, I could get a problem drinking screening AND brief intervention.

Wow. How comprehensive. But if it's brief, I doubt you're going to get my friends and family in to tell me how my drinking is destroying their lives ... or whatever it is you do in an intervention. How will that get me to change my ways?

Maybe she could do it while my feet are in the stirrups, for efficiency's sake. Honestly, it would be better than the usual idle chit chat that usually happens when she's sticking that speculum in my lady flower.

Alas, I lie about how much I drink, so there's no need for an intervention. I only lie because she thinks a drink a day is too much. Instead of discussing what a huge fucking lush I am, I'm sure we'll spend the time going over, once again, how I've come to terms with not wanting kids. Fun!

06 October 2009



The Metrodome isn't ready to let go just yet. How can the Twins refuse when the Dome is offering a little more dessert and coffee?

PS: Craig Sager's suit is SWEET.

05 October 2009

A stranger in my own town.

My break up with the Vikings has some unforeseen consequences. There is the whole not having a new favorite team yet (note: since I wrote that post three years ago, I've come to loathe the Steelers), which confuses a lot of people and apparently really bothers a friend of The Boy I Currently Like.

Look -- it's not like I enjoy not having a team. However, not much has changed since I wrote the post laying out the potential new favorite teams. Maybe if Arizona didn't have Kurt Warner, I could like them. I could like Jacksonville, if they weren't ... well, in Jacksonville. No one has made a play for my heart and soul; no team has been compelling enough to win my fandom.

There's more than just that, though. I'm starting to feel like an outsider. The Vikings/Packers game is a big deal here at work. We have several people hailing from the Dairy State who are huge football fans, so there's a friendly rivalry. People are wearing team colors (I'm SO glad I grabbed the pink shirt instead of one of the three purple options I was considering this morning) and we're having Famous Dave's for lunch. It's got top-billing on the Strib's home page. If you didn't know any better, you'd believe it was THE BIGGEST GAME EVER.

And here I am, not giving a flying fuck. I feel the way I did when I went to UNC Wilmington, and everyone would talk about nothing but Carolina and Duke the week before they met in basketball. I love, love, love college basketball, but I don't think there are two schools I hate more than Carolina and Duke. So, I didn't give a shit about THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE YEAR (save for their second meeting of the year, possibly an ACC tournament match-up and even the outside chance of meeting in the NCAA tournament). I spent my time pondering scenarios that would allow for neither team to win.

Despite the fact that I'm no longer with the Vikings, I still hate the Packers. Now I hate the Vikings almost as much. So, I don't care who wins. In a perfect world, they'd tie and no one would win. I can't root for the destruction of the Dome while they are playing, as many innocents would be hurt and um, where would the Twins play on Tuesday?

One of the worst parts about the whole Vikings break up, though, is that people don't remember. So I'll have to tell the tale once again today, I'm sure. I'm tempted to just pick a team to say I have a favorite now, but that's just not right. Unless you're trying to win a t-shirt. Then it's okay to let someone tell you who your favorite team will be, at least for the rest of this season.

04 October 2009

A fitting farewell.

Today was supposed to be the Twins' farewell to the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. However, this being Minnesota, it would stand to reason that it would be a Minnesota goodbye (you think it's not real? When I have to leave a gathering -- especially if it's family -- I start at least 45 minutes before I actually have to leave).

The Twins will play Detroit one more time at the Dome on Tuesday for game 163. This is the second consecutive year the Twins have played an extra regular-season game to determine the winner of the AL Central. Last year, it didn't go so well. Please note: the title of that blog post does not refer to my emotions about the Twins losing last year. This year, it's been so crazy -- a few weeks ago, even I'd half given up on them. They were below .500 and seven games out of first and then all of a sudden, they're within a couple of games.

But now -- NOW! They might make the playoffs. Without Justin Morneau. Having the AL Batting Champ/MVP on your team doesn't hurt. Nor does having several players step up in Morneau's absence. I'm concerned about the bullpen, though. Whatever. I'm excited they're still playing. Nothing matters but Tuesday at this point.

I am pissed the game is starting at 4:00 on Tuesday. Why? What the fuck is going on Tuesday night that you can't have it in prime time? There's nothing on TV Tuesday. There are no sports on. Oh, wait. Maybe it's because of the Wild opener? That really shouldn't matter, as the NHL season is like 11.5 months long. THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF OTHER GAMES. Also, it's Tuesday. We all know Tuesdays blow. They are just Monday in a hat. So why not put the game at 7:00? Assholes.

Of course, last year for game 163, I was helping The Boy I Currently like move the last of his things into his new place. So, it's not like I got to watch most of that one. I can't believe he's been in the new place a whole year. I suppose it's not really "new" anymore, is it?

Before I could spend my afternoon watching the Twins, however, I had to get up really fucking early to go watch my brother in the Twin Cities Marathon.

Last year, I went by myself. My ex-brother-in-law was being an asshole about when my sister could pick up her son, so they couldn't go. The weather was also shitty.

This year was a different story. It was lovely -- at least until after he finished. My sister and nephew were around. So, they came over and we went to Lake Calhoun to catch him at Mile Six. We had no problem seeing him and he had high fives for us. Then we went to the Uptown for breakfast. Possibly my last visit there and my sister and nephew's first and last.

We had no problem meeting up with his girlfriend and another friend between Mile 26 and the finish. He was looking much better than last year. And it stands to reason, as he shaved more than seven minutes off his time from last year. It's impressive and sickening, quite frankly. He's only recently started running in the last couple of years and he's turning in impressive times in his first two marathons. He's still a few minutes away from qualifying for the Boston Marathon, but it's still impressive.

Now I have to go clean up the mess from the soup and bread I made. Not sure what possessed me to make the soup, as I'm not much of a fan of soup. But it's pretty good. I have to use up my CSA veggies somehow and I can't keep doing the same thing over and over. That's part of the point of the box -- I get new foods to try and familiar foods to use in new ways.

Despite the fact that I have Friday afternoon off, I think this is going to be a long week -- especially since I have to get my lady parts checked out on Thursday. Wheeeeeeee!

01 October 2009


Today, I received a box chock full o' popchips! for me to sample and review. Yay!

I am excited. So excited, in fact, that I inhaled the bag of sour cream and onion potato. They are delicious, and I don't even really like sour cream and onion as a potato chip flavor.

The big review will wait. I might have someone help me -- there are several bags, after all. However, there are a whopping total of 100 calories in each bag, so I could totally eat them all and it wouldn't be a big deal.