10 August 2009

Dateline: Lake Calhoun.

My original title for this post was "Fucked in the ass like a $2 whore." However, since I composed it in my head while taking an angry walk around Lake Calhoun, I thought that might be a better title.

I aspire to be family friendly, you know. Oh, you didn't know that? You must read this blog, then. A few weeks ago, I tried to convince The Boy I Currently Like that I ran a family-friendly operation. He'd suggested I write something quite filthy and fairly revealing about our quality time. I thought maybe I could get him to believe me, as he was a little drunk. But he came back with "Family friendly? Really? Because (Friend X) said he was reading your blog and you were writing about blowjobs."

Why you gotta play me like that, (Friend X)? Damn.

But I digress. We were talking about getting fucked in the ass like a $2 whore. That's kinda how I'm feeling today. You may remember that I was going to get screwed out of a week of pay for the remainder of my time at my company. Not long after, I was accused of plagiarism. Needless to say, things have been going absolutely fucking swimmingly at work.

The corporate HQ has been planning this payroll switch for more than a month. They've had plenty of time to get their shit together, one would think. One would be very, very wrong to think such a thing. As it turns out, a very sizable number of people in the company didn't get their paychecks.

Guess who was one of those people? Fuck and yes. Me! Fucking awesome! It's been almost four weeks since I got paid. Allegedly, our pay was being wired to our banks this afternoon. However, I'll believe that when I see it. There was no response to my question of whether or not they will cover whatever fees I incur because they fucked up and didn't fucking pay me. At least a couple of my coworkers had their checks end up in savings accounts rather than checking. I don't know how exactly something like that happens if they don't have your savings account number as part of the direct deposit information.

I've gone from being totally fucking pissed to completely frustrated and defeated. I just can't fucking get ahead. Shit. I can't even get caught up. Getting yelled at by someone this morning for not being able to fulfill a ridiculous request -- that he knew was ridiculous -- in a ridiculously short period of time -- again he knew it -- really didn't help matters, either.

Sorry. There was more to this post, but I just can't fucking deal write any more right now.


Emily said...

Happened to me and Stephanie at her current place of work/my place of work before they laid me off. Since it was a smallish company, the president's (whose fuck up caused the delay) response was "come talk to me if this will be a financial problem for you."

As if that's something you really want to do with your boss.

Oh, and it was the first of the month too.

Little Ms Blogger said...

I hated when companies I worked at switched their payroll system. It was a PIA to change how I paid things.

However, I think the worst place I worked out, would announce the day before pay day they couldn't make payroll, but next pay day, we'd get any back pay. This happened twice.

Needless to say, this company is no longer in business. Go figure.

Jess said...

This isn't the first time it's happened to me, either. The other time it was a teenie-tiny nonprofit. Now I'm with a freaking international corporation. You'd think they could have their shit together.

At least the money is in my account now ... 27 days after I was paid last. Shockingly, I haven't gotten a response about whether or not their going to reimburse the overdraft fees.

As soon as the job market starts looking better, I'm so fucking out of here.

Umbrella said...

Actually, I'm glad you changed your title, not so much for family friendliness, but becasue of factual content. I find it hard to believe that you could get a whore to let you fuck her in the ass for only two dollars, even in these trying times.

Jess said...

I barked out my Mrs. Krabappel laugh when I read this.