I'm edging ever closer to completely losing it and going bitchcakes. Tomorrow, I leave for my cousin's commitment ceremony in Portland. I'm going with my mom and sister. Just the idea of being in close quarters with them for more than 48 hours is enough to drive me mad.
There's a wrinkle to the situation, too. My sister just got back from 10 days in Europe with a bunch of high school kids. So she's exhausted and jet-lagged. Meanwhile, I've been dealing with mom's e-mails and calls and questions about what can go in the carry-on, how big can my suitcase be, here's the weather forecast your uncle sent, here's the new one, your aunt says the ground is really soft so don't wear heels to the ceremony, I can buy you a pair of sandals, just tell me what size and what color and what brand fits you best, is it a commitment ceremony or a wedding AND OH MY GOD, MAKE IT STOP.
Of course, I just now got another lecture from my sister about being patient with mom. And I told her again, you can't be a crabby bitch, either. You made this stupid decision and you have no one to blame but yourself for being jet-lagged and exhausted.
My big plan to hit the gym before I go tomorrow, so as to work out some of my aggression, has been fucked. It's my own fault. I agreed to do a scoping call for a project at 9:00. Things are so fucking busy at work, though, I didn't really feel like I could say no. However, I have more work than I can do, so maybe I should have said no. Either way, my decision to go to the gym after happy hour last night isn't looking so stupid now.
There is the promise of much, much, much drinking when we arrive. This is the fun, drinking side of the family, you see. And another uncle is on our flight and driving us to the airport and will almost certainly drive the rental car to the resort, so I could drink on the flight if I so choose. Or, you know, if I desperately need a drink so I don't punch someone in the face.
That's not the end of the buffer, either. My cousin is staying in our room. Really, my mom is the crasher here. I booked the room a year ago for me and my sister. At the time, mom was being all wishy-washy. She was totally going to go, despite dad's objections. Then she wasn't. Once I made my decision not to go, she decided to go and pay for everything but our flights. So then I had to go. I'm still broke, by the way, and I think my brakes are going. This is why I didn't want to go, dammit!
Anyway, I'm sad my dad and brother aren't going. Nor are several other family members -- because they don't approve. I'm thinking this might be the most emotional I ever get at a wedding. It means so much beyond just my cousin and her partner. That seems shitty to me, that my cousin's wedding would be this BIG THING for any reason other than just being one of my dear cousins marrying someone they love (who I also think rocks pretty hard). But that's the world in which we live, I guess.
So, I think I've talked myself into all the good reasons I'm going and all the good things that will happen. And I am excited; it's overpowering the dread at this point, even. I will try so hard to be calm and patient. If nothing else, I have the Twins, Tekken and drinking with The Boy I Currently Like to look forward to when I get back on Saturday. Screw Rock the Garden! (But totally have fun if you're going.)
Maybe I should think about packing at some point.