29 June 2009

Oh, here we fucking go again.

Dearest neighbors,

Today is Monday, June 29. The day with which we traditionally associate the shooting off of fireworks is July 4. That's Saturday. I couldn't help but notice the rather loud pop I just heard while making my oatmeal for the rest of the week's breakfast at work.

That's right! Despite the dire economic straits in which our country finds itself, some of us do still have jobs; regular 9 to 5ish jobs, even. This means we have to get up at a fairly early hour. It also means we can't stay up all night. I know, I know. It's totally unfair.

You may also have noticed the return of lovely, temperate weather after that hot-as-balls stretch we had last week. This means I'm not running my air conditioner and I will keep my windows open to enjoy the beautiful night air.

What I'm trying to say is this: Please refrain from shooting off your stupid fucking fireworks at 3:00 in the morning, you motherfucking assbags. At least until Thursday night when I don't have to go to work the next day. Look, I understand your enthusiasm. Our country rules. But if we want to keep it ruling, some of us need to keep going to work. And we need sleep to do that.

If you don't knock that shit off, I can't promise I won't wish you do something like this.

Yours in Christ,
Jess

5 comments:

angelsroy33 said...

I SO LOVE YOU FOR THIS POST. If no one has told you today that you are wonderful, (and I died laughing reading this because I can so relate,).....YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL. A big thanks for this one!

Jess said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

Seriously. WHY CAN'T THEY WAIT?

Little Ms Blogger said...

Wow. Such a kill joy. :-)

My neighborhood started on Father's Day with the late night fireworks - it confused me for a moment.

So, I'm guessing another night's bad sleep.

The Peach Tart said...

they obviously need some etiquette training

Jess said...

I don't know that etiquette training would help. I suppose it's my damn fault for living where I do.

There were fireworks that same weekend in The Boy I Currently Like's neighborhood, LMB. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what they were. His neighborhood is far less prone to gunshots than mine. Oooh la la, Mr. Fancy Pants, and so on.

Fortunately, they calmed down by the time I was able to calm down and get my ass into bed. Thanks to Benadryl, I slept pretty well.