As of today, I've officially been at my job for a year. Hooray. Wait. That's not strong enough. Hooray! I mean, I should be happy I have a job, right? God, I long for the day when we don't have to say that every time we mention something about our jobs. But, I have a job. I survived a round of layoffs, even.
I was pretty excited to start this job. Granted, much of the excitement was due to the fact that I'd been working at a horrible, horrible place. You know things aren't going to go well when you get yelled at on your second day. That our office was infested with rodents and a mouse died in my computer was just garnish, really. I still wonder if that was better than the two months of unemployment that preceded it.
But this new job, it was doing research and writing and I got to spend a week in Manhattan for training. How could it not be awesome, right?
My first few months there were fucking horrible. I've never, ever felt so stupid in my entire life. I've since told my coworkers that it felt as if I was being hazed almost, except there was no excessive drinking, nudity or spanking. So, what's the point? I'm convinced they make it as awful as possible to see if you can handle the job. They tear you down to build you back up again. When it was all over, everyone said I had done such a great job. Oh, well then all those tears in the bathroom were worth it.
I suppose it's good I went through that. I have a unique perspective in our office, as I'm the only person who has done the New York training. My coworkers weren't sure I was going to stay. They were convinced I was going to quit. Had the economy not already been in a shit state, I might very well have quit. Of course, things changed shortly after I finished. I'm glad I report to the Minneapolis office. It makes me feel like a part of the group.
Now I'm pretty well settled in. My boss loves me. I get tons of compliments on my work from colleagues, superiors and clients. I get to write every day. I'm doing some interviewing. I'm busy and I actually have to use my brain. And Lord almighty, am I learning about a wide variety of subjects. Also, I get to do trivia for like, a half hour every afternoon. It is the highlight of my day (other highlights of the work day: e-mails from The Boy I Currently Like and quitting time). I swear, it was one of the bigger selling points of the job.
Working in corporate America still feels weird. I do not like having to worry about my billable time. I hate saying things like "cross-selling." It all makes me feel so dirty. And while I'm doing good quality work, I'm not doing good work. Coming from the government and nonprofit sectors ... that's still hard for me to accept. Maybe I'll get used to it. Who knows? Maybe if I start making some money my tune will change.