16 June 2009

I know it's not about me, but I hate that it feels like it could be.

I love that Stephanie also writes letters to people at the gym. See, we go to the same gym. Well, the same chain. We don't always go to the same location. However, we've started taking a Thursday yoga/pilates (dubbed "yogilates" by Stephanie) class together at SLP, so we're at least in the same place that day.

Stephanie has mentioned this super-annoying, super-bendy yoga lady to me, if not directly on her blog, before. I thought I knew who it was, but now I'm not sure. I know it's not about me because I've not been at the classes she's talking about. Also, there was no mention of my super-awesome side ponytail. At the same time, though, I can't help but see myself a little in the lady to whom she's writing her letter.

Blergh. I don't want to be that girl. But I do talk to the instructor. In my defense, I've been taking her classes for well more than two years pretty consistently. I actually took her classes before, but she went on maternity leave, just not on a very regular basis. When she started back up though, I did as well and I rarely miss a class.

As generally antisocial as I am at the gym, I have started to talk to people occasionally, as well -- Judgy McJudgerson is unfortunately one of them. (She does not like the smell of my new package of lavender mat wipes. She can fuck off.) Again, since I spend so much time there every week, it kind of becomes inevitable.

So, I talk to classmates and other people around the gym. I talk to my yoga instructor. She's getting a better idea of what I can do and when I need to be challenged, and she's gone so far as to help me and only me do something when she thinks I can do it. Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome, but I also feel like a little bit of an asshole.

Add to that the lady who had taken up the space next to me last night in class saying to me as I gathered up my stuff to leave, "You're really good at this. I like to stand next to you in hopes that some of it bounces off you to me. I hope you don't mind." And I'm really feeling that while I'm not that douchey lady in Stephanie's class, I absolutely fucking could be. It kinda makes me hate myself a little bit.



Stephanie said...

1) Definitely not you. I actually started writing this as a draft a while ago and finally finished it.

2) Your talking to the instructor is not mid-posed or aimed at reassuring yourself that you are Really Pretty Advanced Actually.

3) I think you might just have to accept that you're not a douche. I'm so sorry to shatter your self view, Jess!

Jess said...

Oh, then maybe I do know who you're talking about.

However, I'm not willing to accept I'm not a douche. I try to keep my douchey tendencies hidden from the public.