Or not. I mean, if I followed Cosmo's advice, I'd have tricked some poor sucker into marrying me by now -- and I would have him trained like a zoo animal. (I found this nugget o' joy via Jezebel, of course.)
Sweet buttery Christ. Okay, before I completely shit on the list, I think positive reinforcement is a good thing when you're dealing with anyone or anything. That's where my benevolence ends, however. I'd hope no grown-ass, adult woman would possibly think these are good ideas. Cosmo readers are all teenagers, right? I know I was awful young when I stopped reading it. But you know they are out there. I feel deeply for their husbands/boyfriends/pets.
I love sharing these things with The Boy I Currently Like. Keeps him on his toes. Some months ago, I informed him I was totally judging his cuddling techniques. Color me delighted to discover I could analyze the way he sleeps, too. Because, you know, when people are sleeping, they are totally doing things intentionally. Where's the piece about his habit of scratching my head in his sleep, or his "wrap you up like a monkey" sleeping style? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THOSE MEAN, COSMO.
Honestly. Perhaps it's meant to be hilarious -- Cosmo is running a big joke on all of us. What else would you call suggesting using a scrunchie as a makeshift cock ring?