I meant to post this way earlier today, before the draft, and then update during. However, there was all kinds of shit distracting me at work today. Like work. And Stephanie and I were trying to work out a time to meet so I could give her a bag Sizzlin' Bacon sunflower seeds. I mean, she writes Bacon Wednesday, for Christ's sake. Alas, she had to miss yogilates (and my side ponytail). So there was some wrangling going on there.
Yeah, so I had to go to yogilates and I missed the start of the draft. In fact, here it is, 8:15 and I'm just at the eighth pick. OH MY GOD. There is a kid cheering this Jordan Hill pick who has some kind of updated high-top fade and he's wearing a vest. AWESOME. It's like, some kind of high-top fade/fauxhawk hybrid. I think I love him. WAIT, what are these highlights of Brandon Jennings with a fucking high-top fade, too? WHY WERE YOU DOING THIS IN ITALY WHERE I CAN'T SEE IT?
Anyway, this is the first Wolves draft in years about which I've been intrigued. I wanted to say excited, but my interest just didn't reach that level. There have been so many years of disappointment. I mean, the last draft I was happy about was when the Wolves drafted Kevin Garnett, for fuck's sake. Clearly, shit was going to happen this year. My interest only grew after the trade earlier in the week. And the trade sending Shaq to Cleveland? Very interesting. Man, that fucker just always lands on his feet, doesn't he?
So, I guess I'm happy with Ricky Rubio and Jonny Flynn. Getting Hasheem Thabeet would have been totally fucking sweet. But you can't get everything you want in life, right? I listened to The Boy I Currently Like go on and on about how Jonny Flynn is a bad motherfucker (he's a Georgetown fan, so he's well-versed on the Big East. And college hoops in general. God, he is so fucking dreamy, y'all). And I managed to see a good bit of Syracuse this year and I do have to agree that Flynn is a bad motherfucker. He also has an infectious smile. God, I'm such a sucker for an adorable little thing like that. I already want to pinch his cheeks and put him in my pocket.
(Note to ESPN: Please stop showing Rick Pitino. I fucking hate him, number one, and number two -- he ain't lookin' so good at the moment. Put some makeup on him or something.)
Oh, and fuck Tyler Hansbrough. I was really, really hoping he'd drop and end up sitting there, just like Brady Quinn did a few years ago in the NFL draft. And I would laugh and laugh and laugh. The Garden crowd didn't let me down, though. Overrated, indeed.
Sweet! It's time for our first Jesus freak tonight! Jrue Holiday, come on down. Okay, that may or may not be true. I've fast-forwarded through quite a bit of stuff since the Wolves picked Flynn. But Holiday is the first I heard thanking Jesus for making him a good basketball player. Well done, sir.
Ty Lawson, Timberwolves? He fucking better be trade bait. We already have that Ken-Griffey-overdosed-on-brain-tonic-looking Shelden Williams on our team. Don't we have our share of hated Carolina/Dookies? And it turns out he is trade bait. Thank you Jebus.
Alright, I'm caught up now and I'm certainly not live-blogging this shit. I need to eat dinner before I get drunk and I need to take a shower. I can always come back and update if something terribly interesting happens. One huge disappointment tonight, though -- not a single ostentatious suit (though, I was delighted by James Harden's bowtie) or ridiculously-attired family member. Is the economy to blame?
Final point: Yes, I know Michael Jackson died today. But honestly, the Michael Jackson I love died a long, long time ago.