Thanks so much for coming out and hooking our water back up after the construction (which is still ongoing). Funny, I could flush my toilet before you came out, but now I can't. Oddly enough, my water pressure has slowed to a trickle in the ... well, you said you were here about 10 minutes ago? Fancy that.
And you're going to tell me, first lady I talked to, that there is nothing you can do about it? Can I bring my bucket of shit to your office Monday morning, then? Now I have to go and talk to my neighbors and then call you back? FUCK. OFF.
I'm supposed to be getting drunk at the Pride block party right now, you motherfucking dicks. Instead, I'm sitting here waiting for you to come back and fix whatever you fucked up.
Wishing you nothing but sunshine and a case of crabs!
All my love,
UPDATE: It took about 10 minutes for the guys to come back out. They were very nice and figured out the problem pretty quickly -- they hadn't actually turned the water back on. Once that was done, everything worked fine. No pooping into a bucket all weekend necessary.