Why do I always seem to wear skirts on windy days? I'm certain that everyone in the parking lot does NOT need to see my ass.
Why do I let the spiders in my apartment live so they can kill other bugs if they're not going to kill the ants in my kitchen? Fucking douchebags.
Why does my hair only look awesome on days I'm going to be at work and the gym and no one who matters will see me?
Why won't Brett Farve just GO THE FUCK AWAY ALREADY? Fucking douchebag.