Last night at the gym, I was on the hip abductor machine (or, "the cooter machine" as Macho Man likes to call it) and this woman was on the hip adductor machine next to me. She kept looking at me. I could totally see her out of the corner of my eye.
Finally, she finished her last set and was talking to me. Um, dude, I can't hear you. See the earbuds? Apparently she was saying, "Those are some strong legs. I can barely hit 80 [pounds]."
What do I say to that? I said thanks and laughed. I considered just laughing, but I'm a whore for compliments.
So that's all fine and good. But now tonight, I could totally see her looking at me while I was on the elliptical machine before yoga. STOP LOOKING AT ME. It makes me totally fucking paranoid. And quite frankly, I'm crazy enough. Can't we just leave it at that?