22 April 2009

Stop looking at me.

Last night at the gym, I was on the hip abductor machine (or, "the cooter machine" as Macho Man likes to call it) and this woman was on the hip adductor machine next to me. She kept looking at me. I could totally see her out of the corner of my eye.

Finally, she finished her last set and was talking to me. Um, dude, I can't hear you. See the earbuds? Apparently she was saying, "Those are some strong legs. I can barely hit 80 [pounds]."

What do I say to that? I said thanks and laughed. I considered just laughing, but I'm a whore for compliments.

So that's all fine and good. But now tonight, I could totally see her looking at me while I was on the elliptical machine before yoga. STOP LOOKING AT ME. It makes me totally fucking paranoid. And quite frankly, I'm crazy enough. Can't we just leave it at that?

5 comments:

Bitterly Books said...

Well, it's not like she's plotting to kill you and wear your skin like a dress.

Is it?

Little Ms Blogger said...

Maybe she has the hots for you...

Jess said...

What if it's both?

Little Ms Blogger said...

You realize the moment she'd give you flowers it would have a double meaning: 1) I think you're hot; and 2) these flowers will go lovely on your gravesite after I make myself a Jess dress.

Only kidding. It's a bit creepy to have someone stare at you. Maybe you remind her of a famous celeb and they're always getting stared at.

Jess said...

I'm running when I hear "It puts the lotion in the basket ..."