08 April 2009

I think the tide has turned.

I started feeling a change in the air Monday. Since I'd started my job -- and especially in the winter -- I was very wary about doing things during the week. Okay, that's not entirely true. I was more than happy to spend time with The Boy I Currently Like, but other than that and the gym, I didn't do much.

For Christ's sake, a few weeks ago, I was actually relieved to have to reschedule a happy hour. The Boy said, "It is unlike you to be happy about liquor deferred. I'm worried." And he was right to worry. I was worried. What had happened to me? But I went to Fry-a-thon '09 on Monday and drank beer and ate many fried foods. And I slept better that night than I'd slept in weeks. Tuesday, I was refreshed and energized and fairly ready to take on the world. Go figure.

Maybe it was the worse-than-normal (read: normal, for the first time in years) winter that put me into a serious hibernation mode. And it's not as if the weather is super improved or anything. It's still been getting down below freezing at night. But even though it was 31 when I left home this morning and windy, there wasn't that bite in the air one associates with winter. So, I guess there is literally a change in the air.

That's probably not all of it, though. The increased daylight helps. A week that at least started out with a lightish workload didn't hurt, either. Of course, things started heating up today. Maybe I'm hitting my stride or something, but I'm ... proud? I'm not sure that's the word I'm looking for. I tried to explain it at happy hour tonight. I feel good that I'm doing my job well -- maybe I'm proud of myself. But even though I feel good about doing my job well, I feel a little weird or dirty about doing this particular job well. Words like "cross-selling" aren't in my vocabulary, so it's hard for me to feel good about doing such a thing.

At the same time, at the end of the day, I'm learning. I'm learning about so many different things. So what I do is maybe making people money. But what if they're working on energy efficiency? What if they're trying to understand how small businesses can be green? Maybe they want to recycle water. That's not terrible. And I'm feeding my burning desire to know learn about a variety of things.

Hey -- I have a job, right? (I'm so sick of saying that. But I realize I'm going to be saying it for a while. Boo.)

So it's warming up. The days are longer. It's baseball season. I'm kinda kicking ass at work. The construction on Lyndale has actually made my street quieter. Shit's getting pretty good right about now. Yay.


Little Ms Blogger said...

Weren't you unemployed for awhile last year?

If so, that could explain alot of the winter hibernating this year (fear of repeat with this economy).

Btw, what did you end up bringing to the fish fry?

Jess said...

I sure was. And you're probably right. Not only was there the worry about spending too much money and all that, but I want to make sure I'm doing my job well and showing up alert and whatnot.

Cold weather usually doesn't keep me down, but it has been years since we've had a normal winter. They suck.

I took homemade triple chocolate brownies and they tasted awfully damn good dunked in batter and deep-fried.

Little Ms Blogger said...

The brownies sound very YUMBO...

Jess said...

Well, anything with three sticks of butter pretty much has to be good.