There is a series on the Travel Channel called " ... Paradise." The ellipsis represents any number of things -- steak, pizza, hamburger, hot dog, ice cream. But my favorite is "Deep-Fried Paradise."
It's not the deep-fried bacon that makes it my favorite. Quite frankly, I think that's overkill. I'm sure the taste of the batter obscures the inherent goodness of the bacon. One patron of the place calls it "a heart attack on a plate." You would certainly know what that looks like, fattie.
No, the reason I love it is the guy at Dyer's Burger in Memphis who is trying to describe the taste of a burger fried in nearly 100-year-old grease. No, that's not a typo. The grease is from 1912. Anyway, this dude describes eating one of these burgers as such: "It just explodes. It like, comes in your mouth."
Ummmmm ... are we still talking about burgers? Because that sounds like something else entirely. I'm surprised you can even say that on TV. Also, you're not describing the taste, really. That sounds like more of a sensation. What you're describing sounds like it might taste like brie.
I'd probably be willing to eat that burger deep-fried in grease older than my grandma if they didn't also dip the cheese and bun in the grease. Because really, what isn't good when you deep fry it?
This brings me to the real reason for this post. On Monday, I'm going to Fry-a-thon '09, hosted by Alice's parents (she should have won cutest baby, dammit). I need to bring something to be deep-fried. There are prizes, at stake. I need something good. Something different.
I don't know what I should bring. I need your help, people of the Interwebs. I've got sweet things on the brain. Deep-fried Twinkies have been done. But what about Ho-Hos? Or Ding Dongs? I'm intrigued by the idea of Little Debbie Nutty Bars. But then I saw these mini raspberry donuts at Trader Joe's. Wouldn't that be delightful? Why am I so focused on sweets? Would olives be too small? Everyone fries pickles, but they seem to be pickle chips or slices of a big dill. What about baby dills? Is there some reason those wouldn't work?
What should I bring? Help me, interwebs; you're my only hope.