06 April 2009


So the Twins opener was less than stellar. And this NCAA championship game? Would it fucking kill you to show up, Michigan State?

But all was not lost. FryDay was amazing. I drank excellent homebrew and ate one each of the following things, each dipped in batter and fried in hot oil:

    Hot dog: Hands down, the best corndog I've ever had. A very light batter that didn't overwhelm the hot dog. It just made it better.
    Baby dill, wrapped in bacon and cream cheese:
    Salty, salty, salty. The batter just held it together and made the whole thing a little more crispy.
    Olive: Hot and briney. Reminded me of olive cheese bread.
    Broccoli floret: It was green, so it was health food.
    Cheese curd: A classic for a damn good reason.
    Sardine doused in hot sauce: My first sardine. It was not at all scary. The hot sauce wasn't too hot, but warmed my mouth very nicely. And the sardine tasted much like the fish my dad might fry up when he comes back from Canada, which is to say, good.
    Mushroom: Before I went down the rabbit hole and started cooking mushrooms for myself, pretty much the only way I would eat them was deep-fried. The Imperial Room makes a delightful deep-fried mushroom with a a most excellent horseradish dipping sauce, if you are interested.
    Pineapple chunk: Oh my God. So good. It was sweet, juicy and warm.
    Maraschino cherry: A bit disappointing for some reason. It felt a bit dry. But it was still good.
    Brownie: Am I biased because I made the brownies? Maybe. But it was fucking good.
    Rolo wrapped in cinnamon bun dough: I wondered if it would really be that good. But it fucking was. Hot sex on a platter, y'all.
    Mini Reese's peanut butter cup: It was what you'd expect, but warm and wrapped in a cloud of happiness and joy.
    Tiny Twinkie (out of a 100-calorie pack): The perfect size and all that I hoped a deep-fried Twinkie would be.

I didn't eat a Peep or the astronaut ice cream. I think there were a few other things I didn't get around to eating. But I stopped in time so I don't even feel full, much less sick. Yay! I'm sure I'll still feel slightly asstacular and horribly bloated and greasy tomorrow, but DAMN. It was worth it.

Thank you, Interwebs, for bringing these people into my life.


Lily said...

OH MY GOD I want all of those things.

Jess said...

I'll probably drink a gallon of water before bed, but dammit, it was so worth it.

The wee cinnamon bun with the Rolo in it was fucking amazing. My brownies weren't bad, either, but nothing could hold a candle to the cinnamon bun creation.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

This is amazing. But I need more. Sometime when all of the grease has oozed out of your pores, you need to give us info on each of the items. How was the pineapple...for instance?

I'm impressed with your frying.

Jen said...

So fried broccoli was good? It's one of the only vegetables I eat and I've always wondered how it would taste fried.

Jess said...

Will do, Daddy-O. But do not be impressed with me. I only ate.

Yes, Jen, broccoli is most excellent deep-fried. It would probably be my second favorite way to eat it, after oven-roasting.

Diana said...

I am so full of grease that I can barely stand, and have a nice rosy glow. :) Jeff apparently spent most of last night at work thinking he was going to puke, so now we know that it's good to sleep through the first part of the fry-over. Salad, here I come!

Stephanie said...

This entry made me want to be your BFF. You've lured me in with a fried-food bread crumb trail.

If you ever do deep fry a Samoa, probably you should freeze it first. That's what they do with the Snickers at the State Fair.

Yes, I HAVE been pondering it.

Jess said...

Maybe next year you can be my date, Stephanie.

I was not in the kitchen for the frying, but I wonder if maybe the mini Reese's were frozen/cold and the Rolos not, because the former didn't seem nearly as melty as the latter. However, perhaps the mini cinnamon bun acted as some sort of heat conductor.

Diana (happy birthday!), I didn't feel a bit ill. I actually seemed to have slept better than normal. I woke up refreshed and my normally oil-slicked face was not the least bit shiny. I've apparently been doing this eating thing wrong for YEARS.

(Also, I realized today I didn't get a mini fried apple pie and I am very sad.)

Stephanie said...

I'll mark my calendar!

I had a fry party once in college. Results determined that Tootsie Roll pops are good battered and fried, but gum is not.