In years past, there has seemed to be one particular commercial that draws my ire during the NCAA tournament. But so far this year, there are too many from which to choose.
Yesterday, during a commercial break early on in the first game, I asked The Boy I Currently Like which ad he thought might drive us insane. We couldn't really come up with anything then, but as the day wore on and we saw more and more commercials, some trends started cropping up.
There are, of course, the commercials that had been running for a while that I hate. The Bud Light "drinkability" commercials. The Buffalo Wild Wings spots. The Miller Lite triple hops bullshit. They make me fucking crazy. "Drinkability" isn't a thing. Unless you're using it as a euphemism for "tastes like nothing." Those losers at Buffalo Wild Wings don't seem to realize they won't get kicked out of the bar immediately after the game ends. And I don't care how damn many times you add hops during your brewing process, Miller Lite. I can barely tell they're in there at all.
Some newer spots popped up during the day. Over and over and over again. The Lowes commercials are lame. Though, the one with the marching horde of flowers could be cool if the flowers started attacking people. Axe's "double pits to chesty" is exceedingly stupid. And you must be out of your goddamn mind if you think I'm going to visit the website with that dumbass name.
The Domino's "bailout" spot is fairly dumb. The Boy was on the phone the first time we saw that one and started pointing at the TV, trying to tell me, "This one. This one will drive us mad." But then we didn't see it again at all. I was trying to remember which spot it was all morning and I couldn't. Of course, my memory was jogged shortly and I've seen it at least twice in the last couple of hours. Then there is the Direct TV ad with the violent, hallucinating sociopath who takes a cake spatula to a fellow-dinner party attendee's shin, which sounds as if it's made from china.
However, as I've been writing this, I'm coming to the realization that perhaps I do have a least favorite commercial. Or set of commercials, as it were. At this point, the commercials that are making me want to punch someone in the junk are the State Farm commercials. It's always the damn State Farm commercials, it seems. The stickless Popsicles, the unrisnsed cars at the carwash and the bunless hotdogs with watered-down condiments. I just hate them so much.
Since I'm watching at home today, I don't have access to The Boy's excellent channel-surfing, commercial-avoiding skills. I'm just not as good at it as he is. I also sometimes forget I can change the channel or I'm doing something else (like blogging!) and I don't change the channel.
But there is some good news -- CBS's college sports cable channel shows that late-afternoon game that normally we'd have to miss because of that dirty fucking whore, Oprah. Hahahahahahaha! Fuck you, Oprah. You won't thwart me this year. UPDATE: God fucking dammit. That was just yesterday. You win this round, Winfrey, but so help me God, I will get you.
Oh, and surprise! My brackets fucking suck.