11 February 2009

Stop fucking judging me.

It's bad enough that over the last year and ... a few months or whatever, that I have had to deal with my friends judging my relationship with The Boy I Currently Like. And judge they fucking have.

Apparently, that's just not enough. Even random people can judge. Say, a girl I barely know in my yoga class. Sweet.

The instructor of the class before ours told her students to have a "nice Valentine's weekend." This prompted my classmate to ask if I had plans for the weekend. And I do! The 90th birthday party for my grandpa that I mentioned in yesterday's post. Plus, the drinking on Saturday and now sushi happy hour on Friday. Score! But then she had to go and ask if I had a date Sunday.

"Um, you mean Saturday, right?" I said no. Of course she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I was seeing someone and then we got into a whole discussion about that. Somehow we got to the point where she asked how often I saw him. I said, "About once a week or so. Kinda depends on what's going on."

She was mildly incredulous. Apparently, that's not enough. Seriously? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME. It works for me. It works for us, actually. Or, you know, it seems to work well enough. I mean, we're still seeing each other, right? Yeah, sometimes I'd like to see him a bit more often. Until I think about how I'd have to skip another night at the gym or I'd have to let shit pile up on my DVR or some other thing in my life would be disrupted and I like things the way they are now, dammit.

Jesus H. Christ. Why does everyone have to have an opinion? Why does everyone have to tell me I'm doing it wrong? It works for us, so fuck off.

13 comments:

Shila Shila and Cult Jam said...

Exactly. If it works, it works.

P.S. I like having alot of time to myself too, btw. Boys just get in the way of that.

Jess said...

Damn right.

I wonder if people think I should be more like my friend who broke up with her boyfriend a year or so ago and always wanted to hang out and do happy hours and stuff. Then she decided to step back into the dating pool and has pretty much been AWOL since. I haven't seen her in two months.

Because you know, that's SO much more healthy.

Beans said...

I see my husband about an average of one week per month. I miss him tons but it allows me to keep a schedule of my choosing. I like to be able to workout for two hours during the week days without feeling bad for ignoring him. You do what works for you both and screw the haters.

Jodi Bluebird said...

oh yes. What is this? fucking judge the ones you love month? I've been feeling it too. And it has got to fucking S.T.O.P.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

I agree with everyone - screw the haters!

It's hard NOT to lose yourself and your priorities when couples see each other all the time. And then what have you become? A congealed mass of blahness because you're never on alone to have your own experiences!

Ish.

Jess said...

A timely post, kinda on the subject, in Jezebel today.

Stacey said...

Good for you! If it works for you, then it work for you and other people really don't need to worry about it. :)

Also, this is the first time I've commented, so let me just tell you that my fiancee has peeked over my shoulder at your blog as I've read it & he f-ing loves your title. I think he even quoted last week when there was not, in fact, bacon at some meal we were having. ;)

scargosun said...

That is just odd. I can see friends having a say b/c they care about you but yoga gal spreading negativity? Come on!

Bitterly Books said...

Like yoga girl's all got it together in her own life.

Are you sure she wasn't just asking in the hopes that you'd ask her about her own plans? So she could tell you how great her boyfriend was?

She sounds very insecure.

Jess said...

Maybe she was fishing. But she didn't even know Valentine's was on Saturday, so if that's the case, she's doing it just as wrong as I am.

I was all ready to forgive her because she reminded me about the pilates/yoga class tonight that I could attend and not feel bad about skipping my regular workout due to my knee or shin or whatever the hell I fucked up, but now I don't even want to go because I don't want to have to talk to her about what a failure I am.

Bah.

Stacey, knowing your fiance said "I was told there would be bacon" when there was no bacon at a meal has saved this from being completely shitty day. I'm quite tickled to hear that.

Little Ms Blogger said...

OMG...that woman reminds me of all the women I met when I first divorced my ex and said, "don't worry, you'll find someone soon - you won't be alone". They project what they want on to you.

Unless the Boy You Currently Like is beating you who cares, except the two of you, how often you see each other.

If both happy do what works for you.

Personally, I began to enjoy all the stupid advice. It gave me a great laugh.

Sheri said...

I was starting to think I was really weird. I like just seeing my said boy once a week or so. It's so nice to know there are others out there like that too!!!!

Jess said...

You're not weird. Sometimes I think I might like to see him more, which I believe I've said before. However, as I've also said before, I kinda like my life the way it is.

Then there's the whole "keeping it new and special" angle. If I see him once a week or so, it's still special -- it's a treat. I don't want it to become habit or routine. Not that it ever would become habit or routine if we start seeing each other even more often ...

This shit is hard. I mean, if you think about it too much. Which is why I try not to think about it too much and just enjoy it.

(*I am commenting under the influence)