Bathroom Jesus Lady and I must have similar schedules, because she's often in the loo when I am. Granted, 99.9 percent of the time she is yapping on her phone, but we're in there together often.
Truth be told, I'm in the bathroom at the same time as lots of people because I have a tiny bladder and I drink a lot of water throughout the day. But that is neither here nor there.
As seems to be par for the course with these call center women, she was on the phone discussing some sort of financial transaction. After telling the person on the other end to have a blessed day or whatever Flandersesque shit she tells people, I hear:
"Wooooo! Wooooooo! Hallelujia! Praise Jesus! I am the proud owner! Wooooo! Thank you Jesus! Woooooo! I am the proud owner of a 1998 [something or other] Cadillac! Woooooooo! Thank you Lord! Amen!"
It was all I could do to not laugh, which was very troublesome, since I was already having trouble breathing. I'm congested, but that bathroom is fucking stank today, so I was breathing through my mouth. An open mouth is an invitation to laugh. It was rough, y'all.
Apparently, she thought she was alone in there until I came out of the stall. Oops. I congratulated her, though. Paying off your car is a pretty good feeling.