08 January 2009

What a bitch.

The bitch in question is me. Last night at the gym, I was in the locker room changing into my sneakers and whatnot before heading up to do pre-yoga cardio and was chatting with a girl who is in my yoga class.

We were doing the usual small talk -- "How was your holiday?" and whatnot. Then we moved on to the gym and how terribly crowded it is. I said, "Well, we just have to stick it out a little while and it'll get better." She said, "I know. All these New Year's resolution people will give up in three weeks." Okay, I think she's being a bit optimistic with that estimate. But whatever. What's awesome is that we had this conversation in the locker room within earshot of some of these New Year's Resolutioners.

Bitchy? Probably. Do I care? Fuck no. It is true, after all.

As it turns out, my mild shit-talking about The Resolutioners was not done. While we were waiting for the class before us to finish, a guy from my yoga class came over and started talking to me. We had essentially the same conversation. Again, in front of people I didn't recognize and assumed to be resolutioners. He was the one who actually mentioned them by name, though. It's probably extra bitchy that I lead the conversation in that direction and get the other person to say the bad stuff about The Resolutioners. It's probably for the best, though. Because if I said it, there might be cursing or something.

Once I got home, I was thinking about that second conversation. I've been taking this class with a few of these people for a couple of years now and this guy has never really talked to me before last night. It struck me after I got home that he was talking to this guy who I am pretty sure likes me or whatever immediately before he walked right up and started chatting with me. You don't think the dude that likes me was asking about me or something, do you?

Christ, that makes me sound like such a narcissistic bitch. I'm not positive the guy likes me, but over the years I've caught him checking me out roughly a bajillion times. Only over the last several months has he started smiling at me when we meet somewhere. I think that might be because he finally caught me without a scowl on my face. Then even more recently he started greeting me or saying goodbye or even making little comments. I may be totally dumb and oblivious 90 percent of the time when it comes to knowing if someone is flirting with me or hitting on me, but I kinda think I realize how all that adds up.

Even if I wasn't seeing someone, I wouldn't go out with this guy. Obviously, he's got a decent body, since he's at the fucking gym all the damn time. And he's decent-looking. But good Lord, his voice is annoying. Seriously. Like, to the point that I was horrified the first time I heard it. Thank the Baby Jebus for headphones.

Besides the fact that I'm already seeing someone and he's got a horrible voice, there's the whole having-the-gym-as-a-social-life-substitute thing that I fear and can't stand. What if you date someone from the gym and it turns out bad? I don't want to have to switch gyms or change my schedule so we're not there at the same time. Even worse -- what if it turns out well and you're always working out together and hanging all over each other? GROSS. There are a few of those at my gym. And with the New Year, there are many more couples trying to get in shape. I don't know why that bugs me so much, but it does. So I'm a bad person. Sorry.

I suppose I'm falling into that gym-as-social-life trap a little, whether I like it or not. I made friends with a girl in my yoga class last year. She moved, though, so I was back to being the crabby loner. Except there's the girl I was talking to last night. Now this other guy knows my name and he's been known to introduce class members to each other. This is all probably kind of inevitable. This is a place I spend a couple of hours most days of the week. I've been taking this particular yoga class with these same people for two years, for Christ's sake.

GAH. I'm in danger of becoming a member of a gym clique. Help me!


djfivenine said...

Bacon girl, look here. The new year resolutioners NEED more inspiration. Don't feel bad when you talk about how they'll only last a few weeks, because you're right, most of them only last a few weeks. But if they overhear what you say, maybe that'll inspire them to stick around a little longer, just to prove that bitch wrong. IN a way, you are helping them.

And I am definitely against relationships from the gym. It's like dating someone from work...it has the potential of getting very messy. I don't want to wait 10 extra minutes to do squats because that girl is over there doing something right now. Then again, I strive in awkward situations, so I would be ok with it.

Jess said...

So ... you're saying I'm something of a humanitarian? Awesome!

scargosun said...

You might have spurred one of those Resolutioners to follow through, thus you are not a bitch.

BTW, my word verification is


Jess said...

NOT "panties!" Noooooooooooo!

I didn't even know I have word verification. It would make total sense the words that weren't nonsense would be words I hate. Whoever gets "moist" and "ointment," let me know!

Jen said...

I got coack as my word verification. What does that even mean?