06 January 2009

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haw!

You almost certainly weren't reading when I first wrote about this. Back when I first started this blog, almost three years ago, I was preparing to participate in my hometown production of Hee Haw.

That's right. Hee fucking Haw. You're going to have to read the old post to get the back story, suckers. Okay, short version -- the Jaycee Women used to put on a production of Hee Haw when I was a kid. They brought it back to raise money for my hometown's sesquicentennial three years ago. There was talk of doing it every couple of years, but two years passed and I didn't hear anything.

Today during afternoon trivia, a Hee Haw-related question came up. I almost said something about my dirty little secret. But I thought better of it. They didn't need to know. And then oddly enough, about 45 minutes ago, my phone rang. The area code was my hometown, but I didn't recognize the number. It was probably a wrong number, right? Wrong! There goes the message gong.

Hee Haw is on. They want me to sing again. In less than three months! Once again, it'll conflict with Final Four weekend. Yet, I still can't say no. The good thing is, they're letting me have some say in the song I sing.

In the first Hee Haw incarnation, I sang Pink Cadillac. I have been singing that fucking song since I was a senior in high school. People know me for that song in my hometown. It's fucking insane. It's morphed over the years I've been singing it and it sounds totally different with a live band backing me. Anyway, I'm fucking tired of that song.

So what am I going to sing? The woman who called me said they had come across a song called "Born to Be Blue" on YouTube. Couldn't remember who sang it, couldn't sing a lick of it so I knew what it was, but they wrote it down under my name. After a quick YouTube search, I found The Judds' version of it. I loves me some Judds. The only problem with it is that it sounds a lot like "Pink Cadillac." Or, at least the version of it that I've been singing for years. Still, I love The fucking Judds and I could totally do that song.

But I get to suggest stuff, too. I immediately mentioned Neko Case. *sigh* I am totally going to lobby for "Deep Red Bells" and "John Saw That Number." What else? Maybe Juice Newton? I know at some point I sang "Queen of Hearts" for something. I've done "Angel of the Morning" more than a few times, but that is just too slow. (God, I remember that album cover and video from when I was a kid. That's right. Album cover. My dad totally still has the record.) And of course, with the rack I have, how could I not throw out "Jolene?" HOLY SHIT. That clip is from Hee Haw! Fun fact: I was almost named Jolene after that song. Gee thanks, mom. You almost named me after a home-wrecking hussy.

Aw, man. I can't believe that a) I agreed to do this again and b) I'm a little stoked about it. As grueling as it was (I'm not used to doing three shows in four days, for fuck's sake), it was also a blast. Friends of mine from here came down to watch me. It'll be a pain in the ass to go home to rehearse with the band, but I'm definitely going to have to do it if I'm singing a new song.

Oh, fun.


Ezekiel Barzillai Smythe said...

I think that's brilliant that someone with a blog called iwastoldtherewouldbe bacon is involved in a production of Hee Haw. Love it!

Diana said...

I feel a Classy Broad Roadtrip coming on....anyone with me?

Jess said...

Oh, Di. I'm not sure if I should blush and be all, "Aw, shucks," or physically try to stop you from making what could be a horrible, horrible choice.

You know what they say, Mr. Smythe -- You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl.

Maybe they don't say that. But I do.