15 January 2009

Bathroom etiquette tips won't stop the stupid.

Or the assholes. Or apparently those with poor enough fashion sense to wear white socks with black dress shoes. Is that part of the fucking uniform?

It's terribly sad that building management had post bathroom etiquette tips on the inside door of each stall. These women need to be told that paper towels go in the trash? They need to be told not to throw used tampon applicators on the floor? They need to be told the bathroom is not a phone booth? I was a little delighted by the slightly sarcastic note at the bottom of the list that said to Google "bathroom etiquette" should readers need more tips, because you'd be amazed at what you can learn! Man, that ain't going to help these women.

Apparently reading must not be a strong suit, since a member of the white-socks-with-black-dress-shoes brigade was in the last stall calling a bank or some such. I hope the party on the other end heard my flush. It's the least I can do, you know? I can also hope she drops her phone in the toilet. After she's used it. Careful fishing it out -- you don't want to touch the poo.


my name is Amanda said...

There’s a call center in my building as well, and what you’ve been describing is EXACTLY what I see everyday in the bathroom! (Usually a member of “the brigade” is arguing on the phone, crying, or making some sexy plans for later that night!) One time mgmt actually took pictures of trash etc strewn around the bathroom, then sent the pictures out in an email to the building. And THEN posted the same pictures in the bathroom, including in the stalls, with accompanying threatening signs re: cleanliness.

The trash photos email was topped only once, by an email that went out during some celebration thing they were having, for which the subject read: “DO NOT suck the helium out of the helium balloons!!!” That email made my WEEK. Fuckin' awesome.

.::~P~::. said...

Next time that happens you should state very loudly that the dump you just took smelled really bad!

That woman will probably refrain herself from bathroom calls and will try to avoid the "creepy" person(you).

....do ppl fucking need instructions on how to use a fucking bathroom seriously!?!? I once saw instructions on HOW to pee.....

sad world we live in.

Jess said...

Ah yes. I've heard arguing and sexy plans being made, too. Fun! Pictures are a good idea. I'm sure this lull in the disgustingness won't last long, and I'll have to mention that to building management.

It's amazing that people do need to be told how to use a bathroom. Especially when these people are grown fucking women who somehow managed to make it out into the workforce. I mean, the list also says to flush the toilet and wash your hands. This isn't fucking kindergarten, for Christ's sake.

(The instructions on how to pee reminds me of a post on Jezebel skewering some lady mag for instructions on how to shower. AWESOME.)

Good news, though: Ms. Chokesondick seems to be a very fastidious hand-washer.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

You flush-timing is warranted! Let them hear the person is in the JOHN! EW.

Jess said...

It's really all I can do, since I've not been able to rip a really loud fart. Clearly I need to eat more beans.

"Have a blessed day in the Lord" lady was on the phone and talking with a coworker who said, "I can't believe they put those signs up."

HA! At least the Lord Lady realizes it's disrepectful to use the phone while you're actually on the toilet. Though, she apparently doesn't like people telling her where she can and cannot use her phone, or so she said to herself upon closing the stall door.

This kind of feels like my own little soap opera.

Which is very sad.

scargosun said...

I posted one request in our bathroom once becuase I was sa tired of the tinkle sprinkle brigade.

.::~P~::. said...

You have been talked about on my blog :P

Ezekiel Barzillai Smythe said...

You should print out your blogs about this bathroom ick and prepare them as public service pamphlets. Reading these descriptions really "take me there" in a bad way! But it makes me all the more fastidious about being the best-mannered bathroom-goer in the world (I hope).

Jess said...

Well, according to the notes posted in the loo, if you Google "bathroom etiquette," you'll be surprised at all you can learn. I'm guessing that this post will start showing up, too.

I think my bathroom etiquette has improved even more because I want to show those disgusting bitches how it's done.

P, it's like you've known me forever!