22 January 2009

And I thought I was having an awesome week before!

I had all of an hour between coming home from work and leaving for the gym tonight. The Gophers played at 6:00, so I figured if I left at 6:00 for the gym, I wouldn't be tempted to watch and I could get home right about the time the game was finishing and then I could watch it while fast forwarding through all the timeouts and halftime, as I'd recorded the game on my trusty DVR. Plus, even though it's still early in the New Year, the gym is dead as hell on Thursdays and the crowds have seemed pretty thin this week as it is.

My plan, she was brilliant. I was home for about five minutes -- getting ready to change into my gym clothes -- when I heard a loud noise outside. I thought to myself, "That sounds like it could have been an accident. But there are so many loud trucks on this road, it was probably just a truck going over a bump."

I went to put in my contacts and change my clothes. I was in my bedroom, half-naked, when someone pounded on the door. "Fuck that. It's probably NARAL collecting because it's the anniversary of Roe v. Wade or some shit (though, the last time they were here, it was nice out and I was drinking on the deck and I totally gave the girl $10, 'cause I was buzzed and happy). Plus, I'm trying to get this damn bra fastened."

But once I was dressed, I decided to peek through the blinds to see if whoever pounded on my door was still around. That's when I saw a minivan all pushed up into the back of my car.




My powers of denial are so fucking awesome, I am in denial even when I don't consciously know that I should be in denial. Do you think that's a skill I could somehow turn into cash? Me neither.

So, I put on jeans (over my workout pants), a jacket and my boots (without socks ... big mistake) and go out to see WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. I'm not entirely sure, even after asking the guy a couple of times. My stretch of Lyndale is quasi-two-laned, but even in the best of conditions that second lane is a stretch. With the horribly, horribly, awfully shitty job the City of Minneapolis has done with plowing, that second lane is an absolute no-go. The story this guy told me made me think someone was trying to go in this mythical second lane and was either going to force him into oncoming traffic or over to the side of the road. Which doesn't exactly make sense, but I have problems with spatial reasoning.

There was a ton of room on the side of the road behind my car. However, due to the horrible, horrible, awful, shitty fucking job the City of Minneapolis has done with plowing, this guy slid right into the back of my car. FUCK.

He'd called the cops and his insurance company. I called mine while we were waiting for the cops. They drove by a couple of times, but didn't stop. So I called again. The dispatcher said they were looking for us. THEY DROVE BY TWICE. HOW CAN THEY NOT SEE US? A couple of minutes later they did find us. And man, they were spectacularly unhelpful at first (I have your badge numbers!). "Have you exchanged information? That's all you have to do." He wasn't even going to get out of the car. Uh, my insurance wants a police report, ass.

I'm thinking the guy who hit me is regretting calling the po-po. He ended up getting a ticket for having a suspended license. Oops. Yeah, I'm sure you took care of it. Neither I, nor the cops, have ever heard that one before. My faith in your insurance is totally solid after hearing all that.

My rear bumper is gone. It was mostly off, but the guy who came to pick The Car Destroyer and his daughter? girlfriend? wife? up pulled it off completely. That was nice of him. My muffler is hanging pretty low, but it's still attached. My trunk is pushed in a bit. It seems to be driveable. I reversed it and parked properly again, which is kind of a feat in and of itself, since there's always a danger of getting stuck due to all the fucking snow and shitty plowing.

This week was craptastic already. I've been vacillating between sad and crabby. I'm kinda broke (a flex plan is awesome, but when I have to wait three weeks to get my $400 back, it's not all that fucking great). No one has noticed my new glasses. I'm ugly as sin. But goodness, that wasn't enough. No! Let's add frustration and bullshit on top of all that. I'm trying to decide if I should work from home or take the bus. I guess that will all depend on what happens when I call State Farm when I get up tomorrow. Oh, and it's going to be totally fucking cold again, too! Seriously. How does it just keep getting better and better?

Oh, the Gophers are losing, too. Thank God I didn't go to the gym because I wasn't sure driving without a bumper and smashed driver's-side taillights was a good idea. I get to watch this shit.

At least I'm getting drunk.


Jen said...

Sorry to hear that Jess. We've definitely all been there (just as soon as 2 weeks ago for some of us) so definitely feel your frustration. Hey, it's Friday though, right?

Jess said...

Aw, Jen. I'm sorry. I really do feel your pain, sister.

There is some good news (other than the fact that I realize I'm a total asshole for whining when other people are dealing with much bigger things ... but what can I say? I'm an asshole): I'm going through his insurance, which should mean I don't have to pay anything out-of-pocket AND I should get a rental.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Oh NO! I'm sorry that happened - what a mess! I hope it works out okay. Part of me hoped he had totaled the thing and wanted you to get a WHOLE new car.

But that rarely happens.

Good Luck!

Jess said...

Thanks, Muffy.

The last accident I was in did total my car and the damage didn't seem that bad. So it is possible -- especially since my car is 10 years old with a lot of miles.

I hope it can be fixed, though. I can't afford a new car.

angelsroy33 said...

Okay, you win, life SUCKS right now,...like you said, there are bigger things that people are going thru,....TRY to remember that. I guess my little tech stuff going wrong right now sounds silly,...but I still cried. Maybe that will give you a good laugh.
PS.Reading your blog always makes me smile, I love the way you put things!Your awesome in case no one told you that.

Frank said...

Booze cures all.

Well, until tomorrow morning.

I think my car is praying to be hit so that it can be finally put out of its misery.

Jess said...

Thanks guys. I'd probably be drinking right now if I wasn't technically on the clock for work (I do enjoy working from home) and if there wasn't a possibility I might need to take my car somewhere yet today.

However, that is starting to look a bit like it might not happen. Yay! No car all weekend and it's cold as fuck AND I'll lose Monday to dealing with this bullshit, too.

Muumuuman said...

You'll like this Jess - when I was rear ended at a red light in Pueblo, CO I had to go to Pueblo AND PAY FOR THE POLICE REPORT. The didn't except credit cards, and said I could mail them a check and I'd get the report in 6-8 weeks. I couldn't get the car fixed without the report, so my wife drove to Pueblo ($40 in gas) and got the stupid report ($15). USA! USA! USA!

Jess said...

Christ. That's up there with having to pay for your own rape kit in Wasilla. Thanks for fucking us twice every chance you get, cities of America.

Anonymous said...

Oh no! Sorry to hear of the bump-up to your horseless carriage! I was in a rear end collision this year with a State Farm holder. I could write at least a novella about it but I won't. Good luck!

Jess said...

But ... I love novellas.

I'm sure when you're dealing with an insurance company other than your own it's always going to be a pain in the ass. You're not their customer, so you're not their priority. Like it's my fault their stupid insured hit me.