17 November 2008

Oh, come on.

Fuck off, Hollywood. 'Greatest American Hero' flies again? Believe it or not, yes

Making a movie version of The Greatest American Hero is bad enough. But why stop there? I mean, there have been so many shitty movie versions of TV shows I loved as a kid. Let's make it worse, shall we?

I want to do the same thing with the 'A-Team' movie. John Singleton is directing the 'A-Team' and settling in on casting, we have been looking at Bruce Willis, Woody Harrelson and Ice Cube but I'd want the original guys to feel welcome. And we're also doing '21 Jump Street.' It'd be amazing to get Johnny [Depp] back in ... I mean, if he'll come! He's not exactly looking for a job.

No. No. NO. Please go straight to Hell, Stephen J. Cannell. Why must everything I loved as a kid (or a teen) be ruined? WHY? Also: Woody Harrelson? Really? What. The. Fuck. Ever. (via Jezebel)

Fuck off, Prince. Gay marriage and doing 'whatever you want' is wrong, says Prince

Literally thumping the Bible is an especially nice touch. You know the Bible has been used to justify all kinds of hate and intolerance over the centuries, right? Like, oh, slavery? Treating women as second-class citizens? War?

Someone needs to watch the clip of President Bartlett totally pwning a conservative radio host who uses the bible to bash gays.

Fuck off, Coldplay fans. A chilly start, the Coldplay was hot

For Christ's sake, it wasn't like the Jon Bream's review said the show was terrible. Or that Coldplay blew donkey balls. I especially like the douche in the comments who said the next review should be done by a "real" Coldplay fan. Go to a fucking fansite if that's what you want. Critics critique. It's their job.

Also, they're not even doing "Trouble" anymore? FAIL. You're not even a poor man's Bono, Chris Martin and your band will never be more than a fourth-rate U2.

Wow. So much crankiness. I've got PMS and a cold. Cha-ching! However, on my way home from work this afternoon, Mary Lucia was zoning in on my brainwaves as always. She played the very first Elbow song I ever heard, Any Day Now. And I am now filled with happiness and light. In fact, here is the entire album, Asleep in the Back.


Emily said...

Oh, Coldplay can suck it. I'm so sick of the frontman with the messiah complex.

Jess said...

While I absolutely think Chris Martin is a tool, I wouldn't go so far as to equate him with the master of the Messiah Complex and supreme douchebag, Scott Stapp.

Besides, Chris isn't the biggest asshole even in his own family. How can he outdo Gwynnie and her GOOP?

Apparently, "nourish the inner aspect" translates from douche to English as, "Spend a month or two's rent on butt-fucking-ugly shoes!"

Jen said...

I didn't even realize Coldplay was on tour until you sent me that review. My how times change. Oh and as for remakes, have you heard about Will Smith remaking The Karate Kid? I mean are you kidding me? It was bad enough there were sequels.

Jess said...

God dammit. I'd heard about the Karate Kid remake (starring his son!), but I'd managed to block it out until now.

Anonymous said...

Is GOOP for real? Yuck!

Jess said...

It is real, indeed. I might sign up for the newsletter because a) I hate myself and b) I love to rail against smug, overprivileged douchebags.

Emily said...

PRINCE is against gay marriage?! I...uh...hmm. I'm awfully confused. That was the best thing I read today.

Jess said...

He's gotten so lame since he became a Jehovah's Witness.

I think I'm just going to choose to believe that never happened and that he's the dirty musical genius I've loved for so many years.

Andrew DK said...

I'm equally confused, Emily. I always figured Prince to have a "wide stance", except, you know, in a more flaming, flamboyant, unmistakable gay way.

Denial is a powerful thing.

I like commas... o_O

Jess said...

I'm surprised by all of the people who have been under the impression over the years that Prince is anything other than an exceedingly filthy straight man.

He exudes sex. Or he used to. And despite the fact that he wore heels, frilly clothes and more makeup than I do sometimes, I have never, ever thought him to be anything but a lover of the ladies.