03 November 2008

Accomplishment.

Tonight in yoga, for the first time in ... a long motherfucking time?, I did wheel pose. The last time I tried was maybe two months ago or so and I just couldn't push myself up. My arms wouldn't go. Tonight, though? I popped right the fuck up like it wasn't no thang.

I can't remember the last time I was able to get into the pose, but it has to be at least five years ago. My right shoulder has been fucked since I dislocated it five years ago. I never got my full range of motion back (thanks, shitty physical therapy!) and it's taken me forever to get my strength back. Plus, my arms are weak as hell, anyway. What happened over the course of the past couple of months to allow me to get into the pose is beyond me. I haven't noticed any huge gains in strength or flexibility.

We'd just done bridge pose a couple of times. We even did a leg extension, which was not too difficult. And after bridge, comes wheel. I strongly considered just doing bridge again, and maybe this time grabbing my ankles. I mean, why try? I know I can't do it. But I had to try.

So I shocked the shit out of myself by getting into the pose. As I was sitting there, marveling at how easy it was and how strong I felt, I thought, "Oh shit. How the fuck do I get out of this?" I envisioned myself coming down and my shoulder popping out of its socket. That is not something I want to experience ever again. I got down, but it wasn't graceful. But really, I was happy as long as I didn't have to go to the hospital.

I didn't realize how much I needed this little boost in confidence; this validation that I am always making progress, whether I notice it or not. It has really made me feel like I can keep going.

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