16 October 2008

How do you forget your bra?

I generally try to get the same locker at the gym. Just like I try to do weights in the same order. Just like I try to use the same elliptical machine. God, I'm such a fucking creature of habit. It makes me a little ill sometimes.

For whatever reason, I can't seem to get the locker I like on Tuesdays. And I have to open at least three before I find one that doesn't have shit in it. The people who leave their shit in unlocked lockers are lucky I'm not a bigger bitch. Because if I was, I'd move their shit or throw it away. Hey -- you put that shit in there and didn't lock it. If you're taking that chance, one of these days you're going to lose.

Alas, I'm not that big of a bitch. I just slam the doors with much authority and curse under my breath and keep trying until I find an empty locker.

Next to my normal locker, there has been an open locker with a black bra in it for the entire week. There are so many things about this that confuse me. The gym gets cleaned. Lockers with shit in them do get cleaned out. But not this one. It's also been open the same degree all week. How does that happen?

And who the fuck forgets a nice, black bra at the gym and doesn't come back to get it? How do you leave without your bra? Okay, maybe she changed from work clothes into gym clothes and the bra didn't make it into the bag. But even if that is the case, why not come back to get it? Too embarrassed to check to see if they have it in Lost and Found? Do you have so fucking many bras that you didn't even notice that one is missing? Must be fucking nice.

If I lost a bra, I would realize it in very short order. I wish I could afford to have so many bras I wouldn't miss one. Or if I missed it, I wouldn't need to go back and get it. Sadly, that is not the case for me. Each of my bras is precious and vital to my boobies.

6 comments:

scargosun said...

Maybe it's a place saver...like when you go to a movie and save seats for your friends. It's just that a bra can work in this situation.

Jess said...

I suppose it's possible. Really, anything is possible at my gym. The more disgusting the potential explanation, the more likely it is to be the correct one.

Frank said...

There's a bra inside one of the lockers in my locker room...which is a guys-only locker room. I'm not sure how it got there, although I suppose those huge football linebackers need something to keep their boobies stable as they lumber their way to practice...

Jess said...

Maybe someone just wants to feel pretty.

Peach Pit said...

1) I HATE people who leave their possessions in unlocked lockers. Hate.
2) In my gym's locker room, a pair of decent-looking New Balance shoes has been sitting in the same locker for about 3 months. Who leaves shoes just...sitting?

Jess said...

Does it totally make you want to steal shit? I guess it's fortunate that I'm too skeeved out by the nastiness I see at my gym, or I would totally steal stuff from unlocked lockers.

Especially if the shoes were nice, in my size and had been there for three months? Honestly.