30 September 2008

Inexplicable, crushing sadness.

Ever since I was a kid, I have had these random attacks of horrible, crushing sadness. They're fairly rare -- they hit me maybe a handful of times a year. And they're set off by random things. One that I always remember is seeing an old man eating lunch in McDonald's by himself when I was a kid.

And you might think, "Well, that is sad." That's what The Boy said when I was just trying to explain to him. Sure, maybe it is sad. But maybe it isn't. I do shit by myself all the time. He might like eating lunch by himself. Maybe he's out running errands and was hungry and didn't want to eat in the car. It certainly doesn't have to be sad.

The thing that set me off tonight was the guy who took the lone speaker I was toting to the dumpster behind The Boy's building on our last sweep of his apartment. He'd apparently been there before and took The Boy's dresser and some other stuff. And there's no fucking reason for me to feel sorry for him or anything. Shit, he was getting some free stuff. But something about him or the situation just set me off. From that moment on, I've been wanting nothing more than to just lay down and cry my fucking eyes out.


The end of moving The Boy was easy. I think it was only a couple of hours and two carloads for each of us to the new place. Of course, he'd been at it since 10:30 this morning. Hey -- I offered to take the afternoon off. I didn't even get very sweaty or dirty. Awesome!

Fucking Twins. Yes, I know them getting this far was beyond what anyone thought they'd do. I just got that talk from The Boy. But I am disappointed, dammit. Oh well. Now I don't have to worry about trying to record Earl/The Office/30 Rock and watch the debate on Thursday.

Um ... yay?


Jerious Norwood said...

Hey man, its okay to be sad, especially in light of the fact that "the boy" is leaving "THAT" apartment building. I get a little weepy just thinking about it. Nothing remains the same... everything must come to an end.

On the other hand, I can't wait to see the new place at some point (after the football season is over, that is).

Jess said...

Oh, goodness. I needed that laugh.

Maybe by the time football season is over the new place will have like, furniture and shit. *crosses fingers*

Jerious Norwood said...

That IS funny. Furniture, and 'stuff' like that. Shite. One day, we'll be able to laugh about this.... good times.

Jess said...

Well, I meant the idea of my sadness being due to him leaving that apartment was funny.

But really, it's all hilarious, isn't it? Furniture. Hahahahahaha.

Also, I am enjoying your use of quotation marks.

scargosun said...

I get that sadness thing. I chalk it up to my anxiety/depression issue stuff.

Jess said...

Is yours really fleeting, too? I was mostly fine when I got up this morning.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Hey,maybe the guy snatching up all the furniture lived a freegan lifestyle.....If so, just be thankful you didn't watch him go through your trash looking for tossed out veggies and such.

Jess said...

See, that's the whole thing -- there was no reason for his dumpster diving to trigger the sadness. I had no reason to feel sorry for him or anything. But for whatever reason, that was what set me off.

From what I hear, he made out like a bandit.