07 September 2008

Blogging can lead to bachelorette parties.

Back in July, I wrote a vague post about how much blogging rules and everyone was curious about why I wrote it.

I can now tell you what I was on about. See, that day or the day before I'd received an e-mail from Diana. She was looking for some advice on planning a pub crawl in Northeast for Sarah's bachelorette party. And I was more than happy to help. But she also had a request -- she wanted me to be the surprise mystery guest.

Me? Really? Ain't the interwebs grand?

Anyway, I was thrilled and terribly honored to find out these ladies wanted to meet me. I can't even wrap my head around that. Why anyone would think I'm worth hanging out with is beyond me. It's like grad school -- people were always having parties and I never went. I was a part-time student, for one thing. School and my fellow classmates were not my life. But I did finally go to one party at the end of my last year there. That night, a couple of girls told me they were so glad I finally came out to a party. They'd been wanting me to come to their parties all year.

Me? Really? I barely even knew these girls.

So, yeah. I went and had a blast, even though I ended up pussying out early because my allergies have been borderline out-of-control lately and I'd had a headache for two days (still have it!). I never even felt like that much of an outsider, which just goes to show you how lovely these ladies are. And I never had any second thoughts about showing up and going out with them. By the way -- best bachelorette party I've ever attended. Totally hipster friendly and nary a fake cock in sight.

We did dinner at Town Talk and then headed out pub crawling. Nye's was delightful, as always. I was talking to a bunch of dudes there and eventually got into a conversation with one of them that came around at some point to me growing up on a farm. It was time to leave and this guy was all, "You are the most interesting woman I've ever met in Minneapolis. You're a farm girl who can drive a tractor, but there's still an alternative sense about you. You're really rockin' those pigtails." Actually he said that to my tits, which was where he'd been directing most of his conversation. Eyes up here, Sparky.

It's weird to have someone distill you down to your essence after talking to you for a few minutes. I'm a small-town farm girl turned Minneapolis hipster. That's me.

At the U-Otter-Stop-Inn, we did karaoke and I danced with an adorable bearded 23-year-old while Sarah sang some Patsy Cline. Wha? I can honestly say that was a first. Oh, those 23-year-old boys were the cutest fucking things ever, with their beards (which I totally felt) and western shirts. Okay, I think it was just the one I danced with who had the western shirt.

I took off after the Otter and I didn't even get to say goodbye to Sarah. I feel bad. I had an excellent time and would absolutely hang out with them again. I only hope I made a decent first impression and they don't think I'm an asshole, what with the drinking and excessive cursing and my various other assholey qualities I might have displayed.

You ladies rock and Sarah, I wish you the absolute best in your marriage.

13 comments:

j said...

thanks for joining us! we said many nice things about you after your departure, though we wondered a little if you secretly didn't actually have allergies but really just went back to the otter to those adorable bearded 23 year olds (and yes, they were both in western shirts, because the one i danced with was wearing one as well. swoon.) you are the best surprise mystery guest ever.

Jess said...

Awwww. Y'all are so sweet. And you must have left awfully early if you're back in Madtown. I hope it wasn't a painful trip.

I like that y'all think I'm trampy enough to fake allergies to go back and hang out with bearded lads. Alas, I'm a good girl these days.

Diana said...

Jess, can we keep you? I was so excited that you came out to join us, and I'm glad that you had a good time, in spite of the sinus asshattery.

Teh interwebs. Bringing Classy Broads together!

Jess said...

Yes please, to be keeping me! And I apologize for the sinus asshattery (which has decided to be lung asshattery today. Fucking allergies). I swear, I'm not usually that much of a pussy.

I was so honored to be among the Classy Broads last night. I can't even tell you.

And I can't believe I forgot to mention the dudes who drove by and said, "Hey, we're going downtown. Wanna come with us?" while I was at the bus stop. How could that possibly turn bad?

christy said...

It was SO great to meet you (and drive you around!) last night. You should definitely join us for more Classy Broad outings. :)

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Jess! You are famous!

You will always be a rockstar!

JP said...

23 year olds with beards.. damn, I wish I was would've been invited. :)

Jess said...

It was my pleasure to be carted around, Christy. And I'm glad we didn't die on 94 in the downpour.

I certainly wouldn't say I'm famous, Muffy, but I consider it a pretty big success to have people not think I'm an asshole (I like to aim low).

JP -- they were so cute. I can't even fucking stand it. Where were the boys like that when I was 23? Or how about a year ago, even?

Emily said...

Very cool. See? Angry feminism can get you far in life.

urbanwanderlust said...

a) Saturday night kicked ass. I <3 these minneapolis classy broads. feel so ridiculously honored to be a part of them.

b) Seems to me there needs to be a classy-broad-bloggers pub crawl. Or something.

c) allergies suck; don't worry about heading home early or not saying bye. Totally not a deal. We all still love you.

d) for the record, pretty much everything i love came from the internet these days. hip, hip, technology!

Jess said...

Angry feminism is keeping me alive at this point, I think, Emily.

A classy broad/blogger pub crawl is fucking genius. I know I said I was done save for the Ugly Christmas Sweater pub crawl, but this idea has merit.

Again, I can't tell you how honored I feel to have been able to hang out with y'all, especially for your bachelorette party! This needs to happen again. Well, not the getting married. I should hope this one time here will be enough.

Little Ms Blogger said...

How very cool. It sounds like everyone had a blast, well, except for your headache.

Jess said...

Meh. I live with headaches all the fucking time. I suck it up as much as I can for as long as I can. And I'm very glad I did on Saturday.