So, I heard the shower turn on in your bathroom this morning, followed really closely by some interesting noises. Sure, we've all gotten it on in the shower before, but you usually build up to moans like that. Maybe you guys started before you got in the shower? Maybe he's ridiculously sensitive in the morning? I don't know.
I must admit I was not-so-secretly delighted to think that maybe I wasn't that neighbor anymore. Or at least, I wasn't the only that neighbor in the building. You know, if you've never heard your neighbors having sex, you're most likely the neighbor everyone hears? Yeah, I never hear my neighbors.
Did I just hear footsteps? So, you and your boyfriend aren't in the shower together? Sure, we've all gotten it on with ourselves in the shower, but are you really going to be that loud when your girlfriend is in the same apartment? If I can hear you through the wall, I'm sure she can hear you, what with being in the same apartment and possibly in the next room. That's kind of rude. Unless you're into that kind of thing, I guess.
Uh oh. Wait. I'm rummaging through my eye shadow box, trying to decide what to wear today (Honesty and Dark Edge, same as every fucking weekday ... why do I even bother?), and from this angle -- facing the wall our bathrooms share -- I get a much different perspective on the sound.
Your boyfriend is blowing his nose. Or farting, I suppose. But I'm pretty sure he's blowing his nose. Seriously, with my back to the wall, it sounds like moaning. I heard him sneeze several times and blow his nose again, and facing the mirror? Still sounds like porn-style moaning.
I apologize for the confusion. And I'm sorry that you weren't having as much fun as I thought you were having. Oh, and sorry for being that neighbor.
Yours in Christ,