31 July 2008

Don't ever change.

Earlier this afternoon, I received an e-mail with a survey from my graduate school. I'll be honest, I don't always read what they send me. I've got something of a love/hate relationship with the Humphrey. It's a bit odd that while the Humphrey Institute is part of the University of Minnesota, I view my undergrad experience in the College of Liberal arts as an entirely different experience. It's almost like I went to two different schools, instead of two different colleges under the same University umbrella. (I fully realize I am capitalizing "University." It's a style thing. I mean, I am referring to a specific university. After doing it roughly 10 million times as a reporter, I can't not do it. It is in my fucking DNA now.)

Though, I did spend most of my undergrad experience on the East Bank and grad school was all West Bank. I tell you, it's a different world.

I'm fiercely loyal to the University of Minnesota, but man do they piss me off a lot. I feel the same about the Humphrey as I do the rest of the school. I worked full-time while attending grad school and I also attended while the University was making the switch from quarters to semesters. That meant my graduate school experience was all kinds of fucked up.

As a part-time student, I felt like a second-class citizen. My classmates in the same situation agreed. I always thought it was completely lame and shortsighted of them to treat us that way, since we were the ones actually out working in the public or nonprofit sectors. Yeah, what could someone like me have possibly contributed to a class on strategic planning in public and nonprofit organizations when I was involved in the strategic planning process the nonprofit where I worked?

The switch to semesters also fucked up the class schedule. That, combined with my part-time status, had me taking all of my classes backward. I finished all of my concentration classes in nonprofit management before I took the intro to nonprofit management class. My advisor was very much confused when I showed up on the first day of that class.

So, I actually kind of hate the Humphrey a little more than I love it. But that doesn't mean I would be on board with them making big changes -- like, say ... changing the name from "institute" to "school." However, based on the questions in that survey, it is pretty clear they are considering it. I'm sorry, but I do not want to be telling people I went to the Humphrey School. It sounds like a fucking pretentious prep school and not a graduate school. Not that "institute" doesn't sound pompous and shit, but it's graduate school. If I'm paying all that money, I do want it to sound very ivory tower and important. And that is very different than sounding like I'm a snot-nosed rich kid away at a fancy-pants high school.

Are you trying to be like the Carlson School, Humphrey? Don't do it! Those fuckers are our arch enemies.

Shit. I need to go to an alumni board meeting or something.

Also, for having a wealth of knowledge within your walls on how to create a survey, that was a piss-poor attempt. It was very confusing and totally unclear. Honestly, y'all should be embarrassed. It was so bad I actually took the time to say so in my comments. After I told them they had better not be changing the name, dammit.


Jerious Norwood said...

What four words do you associate with Jerious Norwood?

A)Pernicious B)Scurrilous C)Pedantic D)Torpid E)Fabulous

Jess said...

Clearly, as a fabulously pernicious, scurrilous and pedantic young go-getter, you are anything but torpid, Mr. Norwood.

(P.s. Someone Googled "jerious norwood groupies" and found their way here in the last few days.)

Jerious Norwood said...

You'll always be the one. All the other bloggers, they don't mean anything to me.

Jess said...

Oh, honey. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. Or, you know, something similar to that.