I would have hunted you down and punched you in the junk with all of my might had you drafted that reject-from-Color-Me-Badd-looking motherfucker Kevin Love.
Oh my God, look at OJ Mayo's shoes! You are one sharp motherfucker in your three piece suit, darlin'. I can't be displeased with such a nattily-dressed draft pick. Welcome to the Wolves.
Also? What's with Kevin Durant's sport coat? He looks like he should be working for Century 21, selling houses or some shit.
I swear to fucking Christ, if I have to see this goddamn Sprite commercial again, I am going to hurt someone.
Okay, I'm stopping now, lest this become some haphazard, Jess-is-getting-drunker, NBA Draft liveblog.
Update: GO TO HELL, KEVIN MCHALE, YOU SNEAKY FUCKING BASTARD. I HATE YOU SO MOTHERFUCKING MUCH.