26 June 2008

You've dodged a bullet this time, Kevin McHale.

I would have hunted you down and punched you in the junk with all of my might had you drafted that reject-from-Color-Me-Badd-looking motherfucker Kevin Love.

Oh my God, look at OJ Mayo's shoes! You are one sharp motherfucker in your three piece suit, darlin'. I can't be displeased with such a nattily-dressed draft pick. Welcome to the Wolves.

Also? What's with Kevin Durant's sport coat? He looks like he should be working for Century 21, selling houses or some shit.

I swear to fucking Christ, if I have to see this goddamn Sprite commercial again, I am going to hurt someone.

Okay, I'm stopping now, lest this become some haphazard, Jess-is-getting-drunker, NBA Draft liveblog.



scargosun said...

Please hunt Kevib down. He's too tall for his own good.

Jess said...

You know, I almost sold him a pair of boots for his wife on Christmas Eve in ... um, maybe 1994.

My manager actually hip-checked me out of the way so he could help him after I'd greeted McHale and asked if he needed any help. That asshole.

Of course, had I known what McHale was going to eventually do to my beloved Timberwolves, I would have preemptively punched him in the nuts while screaming "Merry Christmas, Dickwad!"

Jen said...

I thought of you when I saw the draft results this morning and wondered what you thought of OJ Mayo. And then Kevin Love. Ouch. I don't get all that trade business.

Jess said...

It's especially difficult to understand, given the fact that McHale's previous draft night trades have worked out so motherfucking well in the past.


Jon DeJong said...

I honestly think this was a very good trade, assuming that Love is athletic enough to play at NBA speed. Yes, OJ was the big superstar name. But how many combo guards does one team need? Love will make AJ better, and Miller is a huge asset. Of course, the Wolves still need a true center and a true point guard, but you can't completely fix the mess that they were in one night. They did just get better, possibly a lot better. Plus, removing all that cap space that was getting sucked out by Jaric will help immensely in the future. Moving that contract was incredible. It's obvious that Wolves are planning for 3-5 years from now, and as such, this was a great trade, IMHO. Yeah, I would've like to see OJ play up here, too, and the Wolves still lack that big name superstar (which, to me, isn't nearly as concerning as lacking a center) that puts asses in seats on First Ave.

Jess said...

So, we go from a team with too many combo guards to a team flush with not-terribly-athletic white guys. Save for Miller, of course. He does have pretty hair. And he always seemed to shoot lights-out against the Wolves, so I'm not completely unhappy with the addition of Mike Miller.

But Jesus. We have Mark Madsen AND Brian Cardinal? Kill me now.

It's sad when we're talking more about who we were able to get rid of in a trade than who we received. Believe me -- I am happier than anyone that Antoine Walker and his big, fat head are gone. I hated that fucker. Yes Jaric was overpaid. He also had too-closely-set, beady eyes.

I don't care how good anyone says this deal is (and I haven't heard anyone saying it's Super Great!) -- McHale has a HORRIBLE track record with draft-night deals. And draft picks. And decisions in general. He traded away the one good move he made for this franchise last year. He needs to be socked in the junk.

Anonymous said...

so you want to go to games with me this year... I have season tickets!!

We can throw stuff at Kevin.

Maybe this could be the year he finally gets fired.

Jess said...

Fuck and yes I want to go to games with you! I had partial season tickets a million years ago with my friend Blondie and it was so much fun.

Okay, well, it was fun being at Wolves games. Not so much fun going with her. She spent more time scanning the crowd and giving me the play-by-play on what Jimmy Jam's wife was eating than actually paying attention to the game.