09 April 2008

This is why I have a camera on my phone, right?

So why do I never use it? On my way home from my crapass job (still hate it! maybe more than yesterday!), I saw this U-Haul with an odd picture on the side of it showcasing something or other about some kind of "adventure" aspect of Oklahoma. But what the fuck is that thing?

After examining the side of the truck for a few minutes at a stoplight I realized it was a radar image of severe thunderstorm and a tornado. Nice! Yes, U-Haul, that's really going to bring the tourism dollars to Oklahoma. Who doesn't love severe weather? By the time I remembered I had a camera on my cell phone and fished it out of my purse, it was entirely too late. Damn you, plumbing truck! Now no one will believe me.

So glad it's Hump Day. 'Cause Hump Day is also yoga day and god damn do I feel good after that class. I think I can even soldier through this fucking weather after yoga last night. Plus, I have plans with The Boy I Currently Like tomorrow night. We're totally having corn dogs (veggie for me) and tots for dinner. I swear, sometimes I do make good food for us. Or, you know, I intend to at some point. Maybe I should stop asking what he wants for dinner and just make whatever the fuck I feel like making and he'll just have to eat it because, um, dude? I made dinner for you.

I had this big plan to see if I could trick him into eating a veggie corn dog, because I think they taste just like regular corn dogs. I mean, if you're making frozen corn dogs at home, why not make veggie corn dogs? You totally save a bunch in fat and calories. Obviously, a deep fried fair corn dog is a different animal entirely and I'd never substitute a veggie corn dog in that case. But anyway, I told him of my idea on Saturday, so ... yeah. I wasn't sure how I would be able to tell them apart on sight anyway. It was a fun idea in my mind, anyway. And honestly, isn't that what matters?

And shit, then it's Friday and I've got parties and no work for TWO WHOLE DAYS! And then the bosses are gone the whole following week. Awesome, y'all. I wonder how badly I'd have to fuck up to get them to say, "Hey, this just isn't working out," so I can go back on unemployment. I suppose I'll find out when I'm left to my own devices/mind reading next week.

After proofing this, I feel like if I was listening to myself say all this shit out loud, I'd be saying, "Holy shit. Has she taken a breath?" I like writing the way I talk, y'all. Suck it!


StoopidNoodle said...

Just make the veggie corn dogs. I love the regular kind, but Morningstar makes some tasty veggie ones.

Severe weather is so much fun! I've been through a couple of tornadoes now and there is nothing like the feeling of opening up that cellar door and wondering if you will see your house or a moonscape a la Twister. Don't knock it sistah!

Appropriately the word verification is 'my mope' as in "it's my blog and I'll mope if I want to."

Jess said...

Oh, honey. I'm a Minnesotan, born and bred. I've spent many a summer evening in the basement. But I do love thunderstorms. What I wouldn't give for a thunderstorm instead of more fucking snow.

I love the Morningstar Farms veggie corn dogs. Trader Joe's aren't bad, either. In fact, they're probably the same. Still, maybe we can do the taste test on me!

Bah. I was trying specifically to not be mopey with this post. Apparently, Blogger word verification knows me better than I'd like to think.

Jen said...

I love the Morningstar veggie dogs! I smother mine in so much mustard, I can't really tell they aren't "real" corn dogs anyway. I will also say that I have tried the Morningstar chicken nuggets and I'm not as sold on them. They actually made me sick so take that for what it's worth.

Oh and speaking of job woes, Jess, I fired someone for the first time on Tuesday. It was definitely an experience.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

corn dogs and tator tots? Please tell me you're going to be sitting out on your patio while eating those!

I'm Frank said...

What exactly goes into a veggie corndog? I know that regular corndogs contain things other than meat, but with a veggie one, what do you replace all that pig snout with?

Jess said...

I wish we could have sat out on the deck to eat our corn dogs and tots. But I'm sure you were just as aware of the weather yesterday as everyone else here, Muffy.

Jen, I like the fake chicken stuff, too. Perhaps I'm weird. But most of the fake burgers? DO NOT WANT. Unless they are of the Spicy Black Bean variety.

Frank, I'm sure there are vegetable snout equivalents. Roots and dirt and shit.