21 April 2008

So bad it's comical.

As if my job couldn't possibly be any more odious, I discovered a new wrinkle today. I think we have mice. You may be asking yourself, "But Jess, why on Earth would you think that?" Why? THERE WAS MOUSE POOP ON MY DESK TODAY.

MOUSE POOP.

ON MY DESK.

Oh, Sweet Jesus. I overheard a conversation between my coworkers, too, that kind of filled in whatever blanks the mouse shit may have left. It seems that they might have thought they had them and received some sort of confirmation today. And it was not the mouse turds on my desk. I didn't have time to be freaked out or even ask if they meant what I thought they meant, because I was on my way to a totally fucking pointless conference call that took me away from work I should have been doing. We'll be having a chat tomorrow, though.

Newer visitors to I was told there would be bacon. might not know of my dealings with Stuart Little last year. My fear of mice is pathological. It's completely irrational. It's like a phobia. I freak the fuck out when I see one -- tears, sweating, borderline asthma attacks. It ain't a pretty sight.

And it's not just the fear. Rodents are unsanitary. They carry things like The Plague and the Hantavirus. My respiratory difficulties that seem to mostly go away when I leave the office could be due to breathing in pulverized mouse crap all day. I kinda wanted to hurl when I realized I'd eaten on that desk. Hooray for the new break room! Oddly enough, since the break room is right off the shop, I was worried about mice getting in there. Clearly, that ship has fucking sailed.

I'm actually laughing about it right now, but I won't be laughing when Stuart Little shows up for a visit while I'm there, I can tell you that. There'll be no way I'll be able to get anything done. They're already making me unproductive by not letting me listen to music. Maybe I can embrace Stuart and think of him as Mike the Office Rat from NewsRadio. I may talk a good game, but that ain't happening. Though, I do feel safer with other people around. Still, not even drinking can help me all that much and I can't drink at work.

Thankfully, the interviews are still coming in and I don't have to sleep there. And I barely ate anything at work today, too. Hooray for bright sides!

5 comments:

Brian in Mpls said...

Sorry the bath room was locked

Muffy Willowbrook said...

GROSS!!

Keep interviewing...good for you.

JP said...

what office doesn't have rodents?

I once worked in a building (mind you for the same company I currently work) and they had signs up that said "if you see a mouse or a cockroach call the following number: "

NO LIE!

I'm Frank said...

My high school had mice. I jumped out of my desk and disrupted my biology class junior year when I glanced down and saw two mice eating some crumbs right next to my feet. I'm not afraid of mice, but I am kind of a germaphobe, and I don't want any plague, thank you.

Jess said...

No new mouse shit on my desk today.

I didn't even get time to eat lunch today, y'all. Nearly tears and all that, but I managed to stave them off.

I had polished off a glass of wine by the time The Boy got here -- and I only beat him by like, 20 minutes. Hello, alcoholism!