27 March 2008

The people at Trader Joe's think I'm a lush.

Or at the very least Daniel, who rang me up today, thinks I'm an alcoholic. Look Daniel, I'm running low on wine and it's nearly the weekend. I don't want to run out. And Lord knows I'm not braving this place late on a Friday or anytime on a Saturday. There is a lot of basketball to watch and what if I end up having company? You know I want to be a good hostess.

Besides, you only think you may have had me in your line before. I certainly don't recognize you. There coworkers of yours who know me by either my winter coat or my religious purchases of balela (which I'm totes sick of, by the way). A couple of them even know where I work out.

So when dear Daniel said something about me being an alcoholic I was all, "Well, how can I not be when it's so cheap?" Then I coughed and he said something about did I skip work because I was hung over. "No. I just didn't work today." I'd already had to tell people I was unemployed at the basketball game and I didn't want to add fuel to his theory that I was fired for being drunk on the job. Then he's all "I'm just jealous."

Also, I'm pretty sure he called me "honey" when I was leaving. Oh, Trader Joe's, I love you so much!


I'm Frank said...

Wait, some casher at Trader Joe's called YOU an alcoholic? As much as I love Trader Joe's, if any of their cashiers gave me sass like that, I'd tell 'em to go to hell. But then again, I am an asshole.

Jess said...

Yeah, there was no insinuation or anything. He said he thought he'd seen me before and I said, "Well, I'm here all the time." That's when he called me an alkie. I took it as playful banter, because, um ... I just did.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

It's hard not to be an alcoholic at those prices. Unless you're buying a case of wine twice a week - I think you are safe. I probably buy a case every couple of weeks - you should be just fine.

Jess said...

I know, right? How can I not drink a ton when I can get so many great wines for $5 or less a bottle?

I might buy a case every three weeks. I don't have enough room to store that much, so I buy like two to five bottles at a time so I have five to seven bottles on hand at home. You know, just in case. Who knows when a party or a storm might break out. This is Minnesota, after all.

Anonymous said...

I bought 3 bottles of wine last night at a place by my house and the guy made a comment.. "wow that is a lot, you having a party!" to which I kindly replied NOPE its all for me!

Jess said...

What the fuck? Are we the only people in the world who don't like to make daily trips to the store?

Who buys just three bottles of wine for a party, anyway?

I guess maybe I am an alcoholic. Oh well.